


Blame it on the Fairy Dust

by slyvir



Series: Fills for the Malec Server WINGO [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Blink and you'll miss it, Cultural Differences, Dom/sub Undertones, Downworlder Politics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Indirect Self Harm, Internalized Guilt, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, M/M, Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020, Malec Discord Server WINGO, Miscommunication, Nephilim Culture & Customs, Nephilim Politics, Nephilim is the species - Shadowhunter is a job, Nephilims have magic - Shadowhunters are forbid to use magic, Panic Attacks, Secrets Revealed, Self recrimination, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Self-Worth Issues, Warlock Culture & Customs (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Warlock Politics (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Winged Alec Lightwood, Wingfic, Worldbuilding, blend of books and tv show elements, both are switch, cultures clashing, graphic description of wings injuries, selective mutism, self deprecation, shadow world politics, soft moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 73,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyvir/pseuds/slyvir
Summary: Pandemonium is Magnus's territory, the lack of Alec's presence by his side despite the latter's apparent open stance on downworlders is slowly brewing into political issues. That clubs are not Alec's scene it is not a surprise, the reasons why he tried to avoid nights at Pandemonium however blindside Magnus, especially when they came out in the open in a fashion that is uniquely normal for them.Both Alec and Magnus are ready to give away a piece of themselves for the other. Suffering in silence, with the intent to protect their partner from pain or guilt. But the way to Hell is paved with good intentions. And the more one let someone else in, the more one can get hurt. No one has any doubt that Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are deeply in love, they show it all the time, even when no one’s looking. So it should not come as a surprise that they end up being each other’s reason to hurt so much.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Fills for the Malec Server WINGO [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846801
Comments: 51
Kudos: 236
Collections: Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020, Wingo Summer





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [A_Taupe_Fox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Taupe_Fox/gifts), [pinstripedJackalope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinstripedJackalope/gifts).



> Please be mindful of the tag, while no major archive warnings are present the story does contain potential triggers. 
> 
> This fic was created for the Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020 hosted by the [Malec Discord Server](https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8). 
> 
> If you want to meet so many lovely people this is the place to go. And it was in this lovely server that amongst other talented and supporting individuals I found my awesome beta [A_Taupe_Fox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Taupe_Fox), who stuck around while life sent us curved balls, and never gave me anything but support and encouragement despite my complete inability to write a short story. Thank you for all your hard work, especially considering you had to manage also another story (which you should totally check out as well since it's another wing fic [A piece of night sky by Myulalie](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180104/chapters/63706120))
> 
> Equally appreciated is [pinstripedJackalope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinstripedjackalope) who made an amazing creation for this story, not just a mood board, not just an artwork but both safdyhasfdkj  
> Ahehm ~ sorry fangirling excited squeak that I couldn't stop because I do feel so lucky and I adore the final result so much!!! I've been awed and squeaking/screaming since my eyes first saw it... I do strongly recommend to have a better view to the amazing artwork they made checking out the original [tumblr post](https://a-ghost-named-k.tumblr.com/post/628436586910089216/hello-everyone-my-second-piece-for) (and yesh I totally recommend also snooping around some more to find so many other wonderful things in there, I know I did) KK getting back on track pinstripedJackalope you have been amazing and it was a lot of fun working together I had a blast. Thank you so much for all your hard work.
> 
> This story is also filling quite few prompt of my WINGO card: wing cuddling, touching wings, grooming/preening, wing friendly infrastructure, secret wings, wing jewelry, unusual wings.
> 
> Two last things, and then I promise to let you get on with the story. I know it's long winded and I know I write long sentences. Please bear ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ with me I'm trying to cut that out...
> 
> 1) The first two chapters are the only one with switching pov back and forth. The change of pov are indicated with the universal horizontal line break. It should be quite understandable inside whose head and through whose eyes we are going to see things (lineup will be offered in the beginning notes).  
> This unsavory mix happened because my ocd tendencies were driving me nuts at the mere thought of posting a story with 14 chapters where the first 10 of them with lengths between 1~3K and then last 4 to be like between 10~16K words long. 
> 
> 2) This is the last call to walk away from the start and avoid it all if you won't be able to handle the trigger warnings that will come out through the story. The explicit will be announced in the AN at the beginning of the chapter, however they are so integral part of the narrative that I could not find a feasible way to make them skippable, I'm sorry for that but I'd prefer one of my stories to be skipped rather than for it to be a trigger. Please stay safe 
> 
> **TW: explicit description of Panic Attack,  
>  explicit description of Selective Mutism under stress,  
> Implied self worth issues,  
> indirect self harm,  
> graphic description of wings injuries,  
> self deprecation,  
> internalized guilt,  
> self recrimination**  
> 
> 
> Pov list for the Chapter:  
> 3P Narrator, Magnus, Alec, Magnus, Alec, Magnus, Alec.

  
  
  
  
The fact that Alexander Lightwood has never been fond of going to a club, or really any other place with too many people has never been a secret. It is something anyone can read in the frown marring his face every time he steps inside, it is screamed from every line of his tense body and the skittish way in which he purposely avoids any kind of contact with any of the other people in the room, weirdly enough including his siblings.

Isabelle Lightwood and Jace Herondale on the other hand live to be in the clubs. Their bodies moving sinuously with all the grace of the angels, following the rhythm of the music beating in the air and enjoying the closeness of their current dance partners before moving on to the next one. Their joy and youthfulness shining brightly in the blinking lights and smoky atmosphere of Pandemonium.

As for Magnus Bane, well, he is the owner of the club, so it is not much of a surprise that he considers it his territory. Adding the fact that both the private office overseeing the whole club and the comfortable couches on the VIP platform are the places where he holds court, has meetings and addresses all the Downworld issues that, as High Warlock, are under his purview… With that knowledge it shouldn’t be much of a surprise to see how the club is as important to him as his lair.

* * *

If there’s one thing that Magnus has learnt in his long life, it is that he needs to keep close to himself those he deems dear and calls his own. That, and the knowledge that there’s nothing he finds more frustrating than having his concentration and focus split between multiple places, stretched thin by following the tendrils of magic connected to and watching over those he calls his own who are too far away from him for comfort. 

He knows himself well enough to admit that his possessive streak is as wide as Alexander’s self sacrificing tendencies are frequent… As he came to learn, means Alexander will literally put his own safety as the least important priority in any given situation, very noble and honourable sentiment, but nerve wracking for a poor warlock’s heart. And absolutely devastating in regard to the fact it is one point of pride for Magnus to exert his power to protect his people, taken to the extreme if the people in questions are those he considers his family. Which is why every time his own possessive protectiveness and Alexander’s reckless self sacrifice clash, the conflict created is a new test for both their limits… 

So far despite some rather harsh worded and raised voices arguments their relationship only grew stronger, both of them starting to learn which battles to fight and when it’s just better to concede the point and search for a compromise.

But their relationship is still so new, they have been together for barely a few months… It has started on a pretty rocky path, not as bad as it could have been all things considered seeing how the young shadowhunter was, reasonably, still in the closet when it all started. 

It has been a bit of a fight to convince Alec to finally get on a date, though in retrospect it might have been more difficult to convince Alexander that it was not just Magnus being roped into a jackass and screwed in all the wrong ways kind of joke… Bile still keeps rising on his throat at the thought that Alec, with his own dry humour, could even conceive the existence of such cruel jokes, it has too much the flavour of past experience rather than humour falling flat…

The both of them deciding to give it a real chance, took the shape of Alec fumbling around a little, opening up his mind to new experiences, especially if those were happening far away from New York, while keeping things quiet and private once they were back on their home turf. 

On Magnus’s side his efforts were concentrated on the precarious balancing of showing support to his shadowhunter, being mindful of the possible repercussions the Clave in its gloriously retarded and archaic ways could dish out, and avoiding the track of being relegated as shameful dirty secret unable to openly enjoy time with his partner… 

All that careful tip topping and being secretive, making sure to restrain himself every time he and Alexander met outside of his apartment, only to have their relationship announced publicly during one of the first formal mixed events held at the New York Institute, to promote cooperation and fostering better relationships within the Shadow world… And Magnus always can feel his lips curving into a self-satisfied grin when he remembers. 

_Alec was a force to be reckoned with on the best of days, and apparently having found someone like Magnus, offering gentle support and understanding, was all it took to step away from the games the shadowhunters played. The clear and very public rebuking Robert and Maryse’s matchmaking attempt received, was going to be the highlight of Nephilim society’s gossip for months._

_Clearly Alec did not find it neither reasonable nor agreeable being pushed to get married off into one of the other oldest shadowhunters families. Trying to rope Alec into building a life with Lydia Branwell, by announcing the surprise engagement of the two heirs in front of everybody, was a very clumsy attempt. One that only received a deadpanned reply by Alexander delivered in such a flat unamused tone that conveyed exactly how the suggested union was not going to happen, like ever…_

_If Magnus’s memory served him well ~and indeed it did~ this whole moment would be the most dramatic gossip running wild through the Downworld’s grapevine for months to come, the audacity of a shadowhunter’s heir to rebel and step out the perfect mould, and with such scathing words…_

_“First thing - I am not going to get married to a woman who is already engaged and wears the ring of another man… Second reason is that if I ever get married, it will be with another man since I’m gay. And third I already am in a happy, committed and exclusive monogamous relationship. Now if you’ll excuse me… I can’t be here anymore, so if you don’t mind… ”_

_If that speech hadn't already been enough to make Magnus feel like his whole being was melting with the pride and love for his boyfriend. the thing that would have completely made him unhinged, was seeing said boyfriend marching straight toward him, spine straight and head held high, eyes filled with such burning determination that made some of the downworlders present a little uneasy._

_The tension was palpable to the point anyone could hear the collectively held breath as Alexander stepped into Magnus’s personal space with raised hands, one moved gently to cup his cheek while the other rested firmly on the nape of his neck as they looked in each others eyes, Magnus’s own hands resting on Alexander’s chest feeling the pounding heartbeat underneath his palm…_

_And yes, it is true that, maybe, Magnus is known for being a little shit at times. But seriously, with such a display of confidence, in such a public setting, with everyone who was important for the current political situation being present and witnessing this moment… How could he be expected to stay completely put together?_

_Later on he would play it off as a trick of the lighting._ _When his glamour flickered under such intense and close scrutiny, revealing a glimpse of his cat’s eyes… Silently and subtly_ _inviting_ _provoking Alexander in pulling him forward allowing their eager lips to meet in what had become to his own humble_ _opinion_ _, one of the hottest and most passionate kisses he had in centuries… Unsurprisingly all of those happened with the same man standing in front of him…_

_It was hot and gentle, claiming and loving, displaying clearly for all to see that this was not a first time thing between the two of them. Their bodies leaning closer melting on and supporting each other, showing off the essential dichotomy that was Alexander Gideon Lightwood, now proudly out and already off the market, willingly claimed and spoken for by no other than the High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane._

_That was the day when the whole shadow world of New York knew that they were *_ **_it_ ** _*, the Power Couple that would end up ruling their territory… While a few hearts were broken by the loss of a chance to snag either man. This was the day a ship was born. And many romantic hearts started rooting for a happier ending to this modern love story…_

Such memories while always able to bring a satisfied smile to his face. They are also one of the reminders of why the best solution for his own peace of mind would be to have all that it’s important to him in the same place. With their relationship now common knowledge, their lack of presence together in his domain, while his own presence at the Institute increased, is sort of the reason why things started to get a little tense around the edges. 

To the point where they are slowly brewing into an epic fight that has the potential of bringing devastation in its wake.

  
  


The first time Magnus broached the subject it’s done with his usual subtle approach, more like an open invitation that left all the room and choice to refuse to Alexander... 

Magnus is in their bedroom getting ready when Alec stumbles through the door of their home… It is a marvel, and a small part of himself could find it amusing how Alexander, once inside the safety and privacy of the loft, never fails to transform from the authoritative Head of the Institute — graceful creature with a honed body defined like the deadly weapon it had been trained to be, whose every movement is a symphony of perfectly measured efficiency — into the sweet man he’s falling in love as each moment pass. The goofy-smiling, sweet, innocent man with legs as long as dreams. And eyes still filled and shining with love, awe and wonder every time they land on Magnus, seeing him in any state and loving him for who he is no matter how he appears or what he is doing… He can feel Alexander’s admiration for him when he’s naked, it doesn’t waver when he’s armoured into his most outrageous High Warlock outfit… Unlike so many lovers before Alec, there is no judgment in wearing modest comfortable training clothes or letting himself be seen as the mess he becomes when he has been binge brewing for three days straight.

The awed respect and appreciation are present at each and every display of magic, may it be a small summoned drink or closing five giant rifts after portalling from one location to the next within a single night. No circumstance ever changes the look of love that simply takes home in Alec’s eyes whenever they are turned on Magnus.

Knowing this, it certainly isn’t a surprise that the mere proximity of Alexander Lightwood to Magnus Bane is enough to bring a soft loving smile on the lips of the latter and the softest tone being carried in his voice.

“Darling I was just getting ready for the club, I’ve heard dear Isabelle and Jace are going to come tonight, should we expect the esteemed Head of the New York Institute to join us this evening?” 

Looking over his shoulder as Alec tiredly walks toward the bedroom frowning confused while replying softly “Erm… N-no? I did not really plan to do anything more than rest tonight? But you all go and have fun. I’ll see you in the morning… ” 

Maybe it is the light teasing tone that causes the current rejection, or the way the invitation is worded, or maybe Alexander is simply too tired… None of those possible reasons stops the flash of hurt temporarily appearing on Magnus’ face. He is, however, able to keep his farewell light and unaffected before heading out “Rest well Darling, I’ll join you in few hours”

_If only he could get past the hurt of being let down and refused. Magnus might have seen that trying such an open approach, on a day when Alexander had spent the daytime in meetings with some of the bigger names in the Clave, and most of the afternoon till almost midnight on patrol with new recruits. It wouldn’t have been the best of time to spring such a request and hope it would be readily accepted._

But hindsight is 20/20 and never that immediate. So, with the current situation to be dealt with, the only solution is to once more leave a tendril of intention focused on guarding the loft, keeping constant track of the feedback from the wards and worrying from afar for his partner. He is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. It’s not like one evening dividing his attention is going to be problematic.

The issue at hand is not really complicated, and his role as mediator can basically be summed up to listening to all parties’ desires and negotiating a middle ground that would leave everyone involved if not satisfied, at least leaving with terms they all can live with. Some negotiations are better than others and tonight’s is gladly one of the good times that leaves space for some old-fashioned mingling. Magnus is finding it difficult to stay away from Alexander more than necessary, but it would be bad form and make him a really bad host to leave before his guests. Especially once they just joined the informal social part of the gathering. 

And without other business to attend, social niceties are required, drinks offered and small talk to be exchanged. 

All in all it’s rather relaxing, despite the tangible absence of the one he really wants there, which is why his company’s next words hit him like a punch in the gut and need a double-take to be understood. 

“We heard things were changing, but I must admit that it’s refreshing seeing shadowhunters dancing with downworlders rather than fighting them. I admit though I believed you’d be more possessive of your partner but I’m never one to let the chance pass…” 

The man is pointing vaguely in the direction of the dance floor below as he finishes saying coyly, “so does that enchanting show down there mean that you’d be available for a different kind of dancing? He looks good enough that I would not mind have such eye candy in the same bed as well” 

Magnus raises an unimpressed eyebrow at the guy after confirming, with a quick survey of the dance floor, what the magic checking on his wards had already told him. Alexander had not come here for a surprise visit, so the one on the floor is probably Jace being mistaken for his angel by an idiot who doesn’t know any better. 

“As my lover is not here tonight to give any kind of show I’m afraid I have to politely decline your offer. Please excuse me, as I do have some other business to attend to right now. I still hope you’ll have a wonderful time but as the saying goes, ‘there’s no rest for the wicked.’” The smile he offers is as fake as it is polite. 

Magnus strongly believes in rewarding good behaviour. After letting his smile turn into the smug little smirk on his lips, he starts to make the first steps toward leaving. After all he has just managed to avoid redecorating the vip lounge with the idiot’s blood, clearly the guy has no brain that could be splattered around… He does believe that this is one of the instances where his admirable self control should be rewarded… 

Immediately… 

Which is exactly why he decides to start his round of goodbyes and head back to his lair and lay a very possessive claim on his most prized treasure.

* * *

It is a known fact that Alec doesn’t like people. And everyone just easily assumes that it means he is also completely clueless about social niceties, implied expectations, and how to read a person’s body language, mannerism and subtexts. What most do forget, or maybe they just simply overlook and underestimate, is the fact that a person cannot stay in a political position, for almost a decade, while being a complete failure in social settings. 

There is no way someone could be an efficient member of the Clave, dealing regularly with the Council. Be assigned the title of Head of one of the largest Institutes and staying in an active political position. Having enough power to enforce revolutionary changes. And still remaining ignorant of how people work. Or how to read and speak, through all the subtexts and layers overlapping of people’s words. Even less remain so naive, to not know the steps of the dances that need to be danced, to accomplish one’s goal when playing the game of politics.

On some days Alec can find the whole situation irritating and ironic. How it always gets forgotten... That he is so good at playing Idris’ politics, without actually spending substantial amounts of time in Alicante and its social functions. He has gained enough political power to weather the multitude of facts against him. That he is an unmarried shadowhunter openly dating a downworlder, a male warlock at that. Holding alone the title, while doing the work of Head of the New York Institute. A position traditionally held by a married couple, so to share the workload and responsibilities. 

And despite all the potential drawbacks, he is still able to push through and get approved significant improvements and changes to level up the Accords’ unfair approaches and protections granted toward all the other species present in the shadow world. Starting from making the local Downworld cabinet a reality in New York. Passing through a general reform for all institutes to foster better relationships with each local downworlder communities. 

Carry on the proposed changes in the covenant to offer equal recognition to other species. Burying them in the middle of that sea of propositions also the right for downworlder and shadowhunters couples to be able to have a marriage in gold if they so choose... A marriage recognised and celebrated like any other traditional shadowhunter union ceremony, with all the binding recognitions inherent to the acknowledged bond.

Considering all of the above Alec is sort of amazed, and if he is completely honest maybe also a little hurt, that even Magnus is among those who truly believe him completely blind to subtle messages. At the same time he cannot stop the slither of gratitude... Because this kind of belief is the principal reason why he can still avoid subjecting himself to the horrors, that a night at a club does mean for him… 

Just thinking of hours in such a small, crowded place, so many people too close to his personal space, more often than not invading it... And the consequent humps and bumps he will end up receiving… Not to mention the whole array of mixed substances floating in the air, whether it might be simple sweat, other bodily fluids he’d rather not think about, glitter or worst of all fairy dust. 

No, a night club is certainly not the place he would find himself after a long day at work. Still he is aware enough that since relationships do take effort, he is not going to be able to avoid regular outings. Not if the hurt expression creeping behind Magnus’s eyes the last time he proposed such evening was anything to go by. But for the time being he’d take any breather he could get while steeling himself for the approaching future.

* * *

The second time Magnus attempts to convince Alexander to join him for a night out that would have only the slightest amount of business dealing sees Alec entering the loft with a tired smile and a short sweet kiss. Even the tender “Welcome back, Darling” is met with a tired nuzzle from his boyfriend. And while still being embraced Magnus is able to have a closer look at his lover’s tired face and tense muscles twitching under the skin, in the end it’s probably the non-verbal reply to the greeting that makes Magnus hesitate a minute before softly making an offer.

“Would you like to come and lay down with me on the couch? I do need to take care of a meeting at the club, but there’s no reason why we couldn’t relax there and let the stress of the day be drowned in the music…” he barely finished the offer when the screeching sound of the institute alarm rings ominously from Alec’s phone.

Hearing the tired growl that sounds more like a despairing sigh breaks Magnus’s heart a little, and in good conscience there’s not really much to hold against the shadowhunter once again dropping everything to simply go back and do his job… No matter how irritating it is when it happens…And it’s not like this is the first time one of them has had to answer an emergency, it doesn’t, however, stop the tightness in his chest hearing the mumbled “I’ll see you later. Don’t wait up for me, not sure when this new mess will be solved.” 

Alec burns on his skin a stamina rune and the tiredness slowly recedes from his features. 

It is in moments like this that Magnus sort of wishes he could find a way to convince Alexander to wear some kind of jewellery- a ring, a bracelet, a necklace,- anything where he could anchor some protective spells and few additional portable wards to make sure his angel is protected. And not that he would ever admit it but also to allow his magic a better way to be able to keep a feedback on Alec’s condition and movements if needed. 

Indeed, Magnus believes it would be a great idea to have a way to have Alexander protected even when not staying under any of the wards Magnus created, might they be his personal ones at either Pandemonium or the loft, or the recently slightly modified ones present at the Institute. 

Taking one last look at the leaving man, he sighs softly and turns back toward the bedroom. Tonight is going to be another night where the High Warlock of Brooklyn is dressed to impress in one of his best formal suits and the shiniest makeup in recent times. For the few who care enough to know him it would be easy to see such armour is reserved for the long nights when all he can do is wait for either the return of his lover in their home, or news of his healing skills being required to assist his injured lover, neither case is actually predisposed to be restful. 

Magnus finds himself grateful for the distraction in Pandemonium. He can navigate the political games required by his position with little effort and concentration. Tonight he is being kept on his toes enough that he simply doesn’t have the time to fret too much about his shadowhunter being again out in the field to fight demons… Maybe it is time for a gift that could offer some protection. If nothing else works I could always try to convince my delectable archer to start wearing fingerless gloves at all times. The protection in that would be less than ideal, but even a little is better than nothing… Despite the thought starting to worm its way into Magnus’ mind, it is soon forgotten in favour of returning home to join his angel. Where he can wait to finally feel the wards of their home, welcoming his partner in their warm safety, to have his uneasy feelings rest and set aside for the time being.

* * *

The next time the opportunity presents itself Alec can see the fight building up despite the haziness slowing his mind. The signs are loud and clear in every single movement and in the sharpening of each word leaving Magnus’ lips.

“Alexander is it really such a hard chore to spend time with me at the club? Have I ever made you feel so uncomfortable in my presence that you really cannot stomach walking a few steps outside your comfort zone? Have I ever pushed your limits to the point you really can’t find it in yourself to actually compromise and meet me halfway?”

He can’t really follow along, he is trying to fight the sluggishness, but he does get that the situation is deteriorating. It is a crescendo of frustration, hurt feelings and rising tempers. At least this time Alec still has a chance to duck and avoid the inevitable, the iratze has not completely healed his latest injuries but he wanted so much to get home that he found no reason not to pull rank and simply get out of the infirmary… If he had known another request for spending time at the club was what was waiting for him. Instead of a soft bubble bath, the fluffiest of towels, with slow and lazy cuddling before being lulled to some restful sleep in the arms of the man he loves, maybe in that case he would have reconsidered weathering the trek home in this state.

“Alexander, you could at least afford me the courtesy of actually listening when I’m talking with you, I don’t…” 

Unfortunately Alec has been running on fumes for hours by now. teetering on the edge of rune exhaustion due to the previous lack of rest -given the recent increase of demonic activity and the all hands on deck approach needed to at least marginally control the demon invasion- he seriously tries not to fall unconscious and give Magnus all his attention. However the darkness creeping on him from all sides, has other intentions and claims him before he can do anything about it. 

The last semi-coherent thought he remembers is that yep he is running out of borrowed time to live on... The issue is going to come up soon, so he has to man up and face it head on… Just after taking a day or three to recuperate and recover… 

The first thing Alec notices, once his consciousness starts to come back, is the easing of the deep bone exhaustion that had been set deeply in his body, followed by the soft carding of fingers through his hair and the mumbling of a voice resembling a soft rumble in his ears. It does take a lot more effort than should be reasonable to finally discern and parse the sound into meaningful words.

“…you stupid idiotic man, there were other ways to avoid going out on a club night than dragging your stubborn self across New York while on the brink of exhaustion… I suppose at least you had enough good taste to wait and fall into my arms instead of just collapsing on the floor… It doesn’t change I am still upset with you darling. You will be the death of me if you don’t stop pulling this kind of thing every time you want to avoid a date night out at a club.”

Despite the words themselves being on the edge of scathing and harsh, the tone is soft and the touches caring. So the only reasonable thing his body can muster is snuggling closer to the warmth of Magnus body laying next to him, gently nuzzling his way toward Magnus’ neck leaving behind a trail of soft kisses, bleary eyes blinking slowly “Imma sorry Ma’ns.” 

The answering sigh is tired if not at least a little bit relieved. “It’s ok darling, just rest for now, there will be time for talking more about this later.”

The fight can wait for another day, as can the anxiety over what is going to come. Though he knows compromises have to be made so he will suck it up and do what needs to be done… 

Just not right now. Now it is still the time for gentle loving touches in their bed, far far away from the rest of the world and the too many demanding people living in it. Another slow nod is all it takes to let a finally restful sleep claim him, sure in the safety his lover’s arm provides while the protective layers of singing magic keep the outside at bay.

* * *

It takes three more days for Magnus to get back to the aborted fight so rudely interrupted by his idiotic Nephilim being unable to take care of himself just for the sake of coming home... Which, while flattering, it still is not a good reason to avoid the issue at hand. In fact that little episode just made him even warier of not having his angel within the immediate range of his magic. 

And this uneasy feeling is the reason why he knows he needs to actually speak up. Maybe not a full disclosure yet, he knows he is probably being too clingy, a little too possessive, he truly is trying to curb down his instincts to protect his mate. 

It doesn’t matter how many times he had scoffed at the term before meeting Alexander, or how many times he found himself recoiling at the very thought of admitting that none of the mundane words used to describe his angel actually fit the feelings of possessiveness and protection that bloom from the very centre of his being, right there beside where his magic resides within himself…

And yes, Magnus is keeping the strongest hold on the belief that his feelings are resting next to his magic. If things are, as a small part of his mind fears them to be, and the feelings for Alexander are indeed rooted and entwined within and protectively surrounded by the very spark that ignites his magic... Well the ramifications for that could be earth shattering. Especially in the wake of a way too likely case where his self sacrificing lover meets an early demise. 

Just barely letting his mind brushing near the thought is more than he can cope with. There is a reason he tries to stay deeply rooted in the here and now. Because certain possibilities are way too horrifying to contemplate. And if his words have a barely concealed fear in them, well, he does believe history has proved him right way too many times in the past centuries for it to not be justified. 

He steels himself and takes another sip of the coffee in his mug, watching as Alexander joins him, eyes still half closed, blindly reaching for the mug with the sweeter brew waiting on the table. His own calm “Good morning darling” is matched by the mumbled “Morning” followed by a small kiss on his cheek before the man in front of him sighs softly while sipping the warm coffee. 

It is easy to see the small signals of Alexander slowly being dragged toward the world of the awaken and living souls. Joining in those who are going to have to do their day jobs in not too long. He knows that maybe it is a little unfair starting the morning this way, but he needs this matter solved. 

“Alexander, I understand that a club full of people is not how you’d prefer to spend your time, but after how you came back the other night I do need to have you close, at least for a while and there’re meetings I’d really prefer to not hold at our home…” 

Magnus bites his lip, wondering if maybe it would have been better to wait a little bit before dropping the issue at Alec’s feet. But in true Alexander Lightwood fashion his angel surprises him once more with a nod and a soft smile.

“Okay, when are these meetings?” 

Like this really is not a big deal, and they have not been fighting about it at all…Magnus cannot stop himself from checking if he has heard right. “Okay?” 

And just like that, with the simplest “Yeah, okay.” 

Any fight he has been steeling himself for since leaving their bed, leaves his sails. And a little bit of steadiness settles his nerves, breathing becomes a little easier.

“Well I had one the other day but it got cancelled because with an unconscious angel on my hands it would have been impossible to leave your bedside to listen to squabbles, so yesterday is about the right time.” 

It is said as a joke to make light of the situation they find themselves in, and maybe to not let it be completely obvious how much seeing Alexander collapse soon after walking inside the wards has affected him. The militaristic nod he receives is perfectly in line with the no nonsense words that belong more to the Head of Institute than his lover.

“Then see if you can schedule it for tonight, or at the earliest convenience and I’ll be there with you.”

There is no real indicator whether the offer is just to appease him or if there’re ulterior motives. But during his long life he has learnt to take any victory for what it is and to face each battle as it comes. For now he has fire messages to send and meetings to reschedule… And if he chooses to fit in as many of them, as reasonably possible, into the same evening to take full advantage of the situation… Well he is pretty sure no one would hold it against him. 

Alexander’s presence during the court, it means it is reasonable to plan it as a full, from opening to closing time night, after all it’s not like they’re going to come back home.

* * *

After the morning chat, and the basically carte blanche permission he left Magnus with before leaving for the Institute, he really shouldn’t have been surprised when, before lunchtime, his phone beeps with the text informing him that any hope for the night out to be a quick affair should have been left buried deep in the fields of ‘not a chance in any realms of any possible universes’… 

He takes a deep breath and checks over his own agenda and quickly makes a few calls and sends the remaining fire messages to make sure he has the afternoon free. He needs the time to lock himself away in his office to get ready for a full night from dusk to dawn at the club. 

Gladly, on today’s schedule there is nothing that will raise questions for being postponed or delegated. 

He might get some smirks from Izzy, a quip from Jace or a simple nod full of acceptance from Andrew. It might be possible that the red headed menace that is Clary Fray would offer a quick smile, or he'd have to face a raised eyebrow and some curiosity from Lydia. 

But at least nowadays he is confident and secure about his place within the Institute and within all the old and newer relationships he has formed. He knows for sure that no one would really dare to question him to his face. They might gossip behind his back, but never in a malicious way, nor doing it in front of people outside their tight knit group risking to undermine his authority. He reminds himself of this small comfort as he places the order to not be disturbed. Before using a complex array of locking runes, with the added measure of pushing the couch in front of the door, to make sure that if his siblings try to barge in his office, they will be stopped long enough for him to fix himself and hide any trace of what is going happen soon within this warded walls. 

Once the room is finally sealed, Alec proceeds to take out from a hidden compartment in the drawer of his desk. The small package contains all the required items: two bowls, a satchel of salt, a couple of soft towels and three bottles; respectively of hydrogen peroxide, mineral oil and a moisturiser for sensitive skin. 

He is pretty sure the last one would need to be hidden from the grabby hands of both Magnus and Izzy should either of them gain the knowledge he has it. For even with his limited knowledge of cosmetics he had years of learning that one’s delicate skin requires the best of care, even if that comes in the form of a hundred bucks per fluid ounce cream in a fancy bottle. 

Come to think about it, both Magnus and Izzy would either be overjoyed or shocked at the mere knowledge that he does know what a moisturiser is and how to use it… 

A small smile stretches on the corner of his lips as a thought passes through his mind. Not that either of them would know how or why he does know about it. He’s pretty sure that the chance Magnus would ask for a practical proof of such knowledge is pretty high… Not that he would mind, he enjoys every touch that Magnus allows. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Magnus’ smooth skin under Alec’s fingertips.

With his mind settling on task and the preparations over, Alec activates his flexibility rune and reaches for that place between his shoulder blades, concentrating on feeling his fingertips warming up before pressing gently with intent until he can feel the cloaking glamour being released.

His wings spring out, uncurling and stretching as an involuntary sigh escapes his lips. It has been too long since he took the time to actually let them out, longer since he trained with them to the point he has almost forgotten what it feels like to go out and fly. 

He can’t even remember when is the last time he sat down and took proper care in grooming... Something that was not a rushed job, what has become a typical morning after afterthought: sufficient and mechanic with practicality in mind and not comfort. Which is exactly the reason why he grimaces at the state his wings have been reduced to.

Alec pulls forward one wing and winces as he completes a mental assessment of its current state. it is not too bad but certainly not ready for the many hours in what decidedly is not what he would personally call a wing friendly infrastructure.

Despite the impending dreadful night ahead, letting his wings out once he knows no one will walk in while he takes care of them is such a relief. It allows his shoulder to relax in a way that shouldn’t be neither possible nor comfortable now that they are out. 

He can clearly remember always having them, his earliest memories are of being around three when his parents scurried him to the silent brothers to find a way to, in his parents’ own words ‘at least hide the repulsive appendages’.

  
  
  


_Their tone a recurring feature in his nightmares, it was tempered by the contrasting kindness and fondness he still remembers coming from the gentle voice of the silent brother who treated him. Telling him that the wings were a gift of the angels and as long as they felt good, to never doubt they were meant to be on his back. But he should also remember that he has to keep the wings as a secret, at least for the time being, until the day he’d know it would be the right time._

_The first thing he learnt from the order was that appearances can be deceiving. The brothers with their stitched eyes and mouths *looked* frightening, yet they treated him with nothing but care and kindness. And yet the monsters in his nightmares, often ended looking like his parents, familiar looks with only cruel words._

_Since that first time, the visits to the City of Bones always felt to him almost too brief, despite being frequent. That was his life, at least until his rune ceremony._

_In those early years he learnt how to take care of his wings. How to train them and make them strong enough so he could fly like a real life angel, and better protect his siblings even from afar. How to mend them after injuries, and especially how to accept and love them in their complete uniqueness both in their presence on his back and their peculiar singular looks._

  
  


His mind wanders to the fondest memories of private joy and support he found in the most unlikely of places, the City of Bones is not a place for a child, and the brothers’ brand of care is not exactly what a normal child would usually be able to appreciate and embrace... 

If there is one thing Alec has always loved, it is knowledge. The City of Bones, and the role of the Silent Brothers in it, is to the shadowhunters what the Spiral Labyrinth and the role of Mages is to the warlocks… It is a place of memories and knowledge, protected against and kept strictly separated from politics and irrational unfounded bias. And even if he hadn’t learnt it till many years later, his unique wings gave Alec the unique chance that changed and shaped his path in life.

  
  


_It was not meant to ever be known that a young Alec was allowed to study tomes of old times and archive records about previously recorded winged guardians coming from the children of Raziel._ _He was granted the secret privilege to access knowledge fiercely guarded, protected and solely accessible to the order._ _However the most important part was to keep quiet the fact that he could access this knowledge without having to swear fealty to or promise to join the order when older._

_It had taken many years of lessons and way longer than he would readily admit to fully understand the implications of that fact and the privilege that it represented. Alec had never been more grateful though, to have been considered a boring bookworm by all his siblings and the other younger shadowhunters stationed at the Institute throughout his training years. Especially because it was the tales of those winged protectors that inspired him to follow through their same path of defending *anyone* who could not protect themselves._

_It was the seed needed to embrace the revolutionary concept that neither the nature nor colour of the blood in one’s veins is a valid meter to judge a person. That, in the darkest of times when a common enemy arises, those winged protectors rallied together armies composed of all species. Because the shadow world had always been at its strongest when united, all abilities complementing each other to fulfil a common goal, to each species their specialisations in exchange for everyone's protection._

_In his opinion, if there were records through history of instances in which the Shadow World did stand as one, it meant that cooperation and unity is possible, and if each faction kept an eye and an ear out for each other then maybe everyone would be safer…_

  
  


During his musings, while his mind wandered back down memory lane, his hands had carefully prepared on the table the two bowl. One with the warm water and salt solution, the other with a mixture of hydrogen peroxide and water in equal parts. 

With the first towel imbued with the water and salt solution, Alec starts to gently wipe the thin but surprisingly resilient membrane, that, other than allowing him to fly and glide, also connects the exposed bones of the bat like fingers. The leathery membrane actually composes the majority of his wings. It covers both the part farther from his body from the ulna till the very tip. Where primary feathers would have been on a bird’s wing, only the dark leathered skin and naked bones are present on his.

However the more difficult part to reach is the membrane that is almost completely covered by the convert feathers. Which, other than being closer to his back also has the added difficulty that he has to make sure to not twist the feathers covering both its top and bottom side. After all, he did learn the hard way that ruffled and twisted feathers just create new lacerations on the leathery skin. Those injuries, while small are still really uncomfortable, and have the tendency of becoming annoyingly painful if fairy dust finds its way there…

And Alec is one of the many people who can attest without any shade of doubt or hesitation that fairy dust could and regularly does find its way everywhere. Cleaning up the exposed bones with the diluted hydrogen peroxide comparatively takes up less time. He does need to pay extra care to the sharp pointy claws at the end of each digit, simple and efficient, completely unassuming and easy to underestimate, just like him the far away archer, but exactly like him completely deadly when needed… 

  
  


_It was in one of his first field missions when he discovered just how useful his wings could be._ _After being separated from his team he found himself in close quarters with three ravener demons. His emotions had been all over the place. Fear and adrenaline pumping so hard through his body that in a burst of panic his wings sprang out. one created enough space between him and one of the demons that his bow wouldn’t be completely useless, while the other on his open side instinctively flexed, ending stabbing the other creature._

_The sharp claws were at the time too short and small to properly manage a killing blow, but even then they were sharp and strong enough to pierce through the demon’s skin. And surprisingly the claws seemed unaffected by the ichor, which apparently didn’t stick to them like it would on normal blades._ _It was only once the battle ended and he came down from the heightened emotions that he found himself very grateful that no one had been around to witness everything that happened._

_That fight had been also another defining moment in his life, the heartbreaking understanding that he could no longer allow himself the luxury of free emotions. That he would need an ironclad control to make sure something like this never happened again in the future, not if his wings had to stay secret till the right time._

_And back then, with only overwhelming pressuring expectations and no real guidance, the best he could do was wrap around himself all the roles that were dropped in his lap. One over the other like stifling capes and masks, to protect and contain the softest part of himself. Burying away from prying eyes the part of him that enjoyed lying lazily in the conservatory during quiet early summer mornings, humming and basking in the sun like a sleeping cat, leaving behind the closed doors all the worries and problems…_

_Simply taking a slow breath while the warmth sank into all of his bones, making him feel content and aware of each of the four connected bones on the four fingers responsible to spread the leather skin in his wings and allowing him to know the pleasure of flying, while the five claws openly shining in the sunshine like precious, beautiful jewels._

  
Unlike his usual approach for any other tasks and problems in his life, as far as taking care of his wings is concerned, Alec leaves the most unpleasant part of the grooming until nearly the end of it… 

Which is taking care of his feathers. Despite his flexibility training, he cannot help being relieved for also having the additional help of the flexibility rune still burning in full effect. He makes a quick job of finding his oil gland and gently gathering the oil on his hands before trying to card through the feathers plucking out the loose ones and trying to turn the painfully twisted ones into their correct positions. Like any other time, fixing up the feathers is an exercise in patience and frustration. Not helped at all by the involuntary twitches and shivers running through the entire length of both wings. As if they are vibrating in anticipation for a different touch... A gentler, loving touch, that due to their unfortunate position Alec himself is never fully able to grant. 

Since getting together with Magnus, especially after being granted the sight of Magnus’s beautiful unglamoured cat eyes, a thought has started to take shape and worm its way toward the forefront of his mind… That maybe the right time is not exactly a time but more the right person. Maybe even if it is not yet the time to walk every day with his wings out in the open proudly displayed for all to see and know the change has come... Maybe it’s still ok to let Magnus in. And by the Angel, having Magnus’s fingers taking care of him right there, in a place that shouldn’t be as sensitive as it actually is. It’s the kind of thought that *really* shouldn’t take his mind to the gutter and stir warmth in his groin… 

Alec shakes his head, trying to refocus more on finishing the task at hand. He needs to get this sorted out if he wants to attempt doing some actual work, before the time to leave for the evening comes. Attempting to postpone the inevitable, he procrastinates by fumbling absentmindedly with his feathers, before starting to collect all the fallen ones that. Thanks to all his moving around, he has managed to scatter feathers all around the room. As he proceeds with the hunt, a pang of sadness hits him as his mind supplies happy memories of sunny afternoons’ grooming ended up in laughter while watching Church running after the unruly feathers. Which, just like magic, seemed to always end up being lifted back in the air, each and every single time the cat got close enough to actually catch them. None of the feathers was ever grabbed by the greedy paws in the end, much to the young boy’s amusement. Who as a consolation prize, ended up cuddling and petting the grumpy old cat, to make up for the disappointment until soft purring would resonate between the both of them.

It’s with a soft small smile on his lips that he automatically adds those new feathers to the locked box holding each and every feather he had ever molted or plucked. He never questioned the instruction he received with the box on the eve of his first molt. He knew the wings had to stay a secret so disposing of the proof of their existence just sounded both logical and reasonable. He still doesn’t know why it is so important to also make sure no one would get hold of the. As much as he is not particularly sentimental (about anything but Magnus), the mere thought that someone could put their hands on them, it still doesn’t feel right. Weirdly enough despite being inside a box they still feel like they are part of him…

A quick glance at the clock in his office informs him that his grooming time is rapidly getting closer to the end. Especially if he really hopes to get some work done instead of leaving it all for the next day. With precise, practised movements he starts the moisturising of the leather skin from his back to the tip, before repeating the process with the mineral oil on the bones and the small yet sharp terminal claws. 

With his wings now taken care of, he can start to work on banishing some of the overbreded paperwork from his desk, sighing happily at the sensation of leaving his wings out while he works… He could really get used to this.Especially if it could also mean a few more moments working in blissful solitude without interruptions. While he does believe in and has seen the fruits of his open door policy, he can’t deny that privacy and quiet time have been significantly reduced since its implementation… 

Though all in all, it is a small price to pay for the tight ship he’s running working like a well oiled machine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised the last chapter of switching pov order is Magnus, Alec, Magnus
> 
> there're going to be a couple of videos linked inside the fic and credited in the notes at the end. (lyrics used and abused as usual...)
> 
> #####  _sorry not sorry?_

  
  


The knowledge that tonight he would be able to hold court with Alexander present under the same roof has Magnus’ magic purring and humming in satisfied delight. 

Any other day looking at the list of meetings packed into tonight’s agenda he might start to doubt his own time management skills and wondering if perhaps he’s being overconfident. However the confident spring he finds in every step he takes during the day and the excited buzz of his magic around him, running both under and over his skin and reverberating through the wards assure him that it was the right call to make.

Just thinking about taking full advantage of being able to pour part of his magic all over Alexander, drenching and claiming the man so publicly as his own, in his own home turf has left Magnus vibrating in anticipation for the pleasure it will provide, already imagining the happy effect it will grant to tonight’s patrons…

The day is even more productive than he ever thought possible, he manages to complete a few of the most complex orders from his latest requests, just by taking advantage of the excited magic pouring out of him in waves. The closer it comes to the time to leave for the club, the more Magnus’s breathing becomes easier, anticipation growing since, if he has his way, the night would proceed and end with his hands on Alexander. But there’s nothing wrong in enjoying the view, which is why only a few hours before Pandemonium’s doors open, he sends a quick text to his angel asking if he can leave an outfit for tonight in Alec’s room at the institute. 

Technically speaking, the wards of the institute should prevent such kinds of things from happening. However with him being both the caster and the creator of the wards used by the Institute and its underneath matrix, he left for himself a small back door just in case of emergencies or extenuating circumstances… 

An option that he found especially convenient once their relationship had become official and Alec got promoted as permanent Head of the Institute. 

Magnus had wanted to be absolutely sure no one could ever keep him from reaching his angel, and knowing how much Alexander cares for his people, the only way to make it happen was also to avoid leaving the Institute completely defenceless, all in all a small price to pay…

On the brighter side, Alexander seems to agree with him, so it is one of the things that they never openly discussed, and if Alec finds himself with a new, fresh cup of coffee on very long mornings, or lunch appears on his desk when no one is looking, well they both know that there is the guise of plausible deniability…

A quick confirmation on his phone is all it takes to select a pair of sinful looking leather pants and a dark V neck shirt with a dusting of shimmer for Alexander to wear tonight. 

It takes a quick gesture of Magnus’ fingers to send the clothes to the privacy of the Head’s rooms. The knowledge that in just a few hours, he will be able to fill his eyes and drink in every line of the delicious body of his angel makes him hum in satisfaction. 

There’s also the small chance he’ll be treated to see Alec dancing, hips swinging in a sinfully sensual movement… Arms thrown in the air… Lips parted and eyes half closed… It sounds like a lovely daydream, of course Magnus knows it happens very rarely, but things have been going so well for him since the early morning, and Alexander had been so accommodating that he is left hopeful… Furthermore... A guy can always hope… 

As planned, the first few meetings of the evening get taken care while he waits for Alec to appear. Before a slight sliver of anxiety might start to form as the times goes by, Magnus can feel the wards, overjoyed and eager to part, before embracing Alexander with such a pleased purr reverberating at the back of Magnus’s mind that it becomes almost a physical reaction… 

He can even close his eyes and still feel each and every single step the shadowhunter takes, getting closer and closer, until he is graced with the vision of powerful legs long as a dream wrapped tightly in a leathery hug… And boy, oh boy, he feels thirsty enough to call a drink in hand and take a sip at such vision. His eyes travel up sculpted abs and pectorals stretching the faintly shimmering material of the shirt, hiding from prying eyes the majority of his lover’s runes… Biceps to drool over peeking perfectly from the short sleeves, a teasing deflect rune against pale skin begging to bear Magnus’s mark, and a complementary one on the opposite side for balance, to shine brightly like the claim it is meant to be… 

A pair of lascivious lips tenderly bitten by pearly teeth… The soft grin gracing those lips makes the whole face light up like a christmas tree, making the beautiful eyes shining with love and relief when meeting his own… 

At least until he returns a mischievous grin of his own, letting the rush of having Alexander only one mere step away, almost in his arms, gets the best of him, the glamour covering his eyes dropping…

No one can really blame Magnus for taking a minute to drink in the widening of his lover’s eyes as lust and desire creep into the admiration already shining there. Barely whispering a breathless “Alexander” before claiming those inviting lips in a hot and possessive kiss… Ignited by passion and the intoxicating sensation of having his mate engulfed in his magic, under his own wards and within touching distance. 

Basking the presence of his angel with all his senses, his hands holding Alexander closer as he plasters himself on the other man, offering a teasing “will you let me have one dance darling?”

  
He knows and he can feel that he is looking very much besotted and drunk on happiness, his magic leaking from under his skin to reach for Alexander, claiming its share of attention as well, singing when an elated smile breaks through and emerges on those truly ravished lips, as they break up to greet each other also with words and not just with their bodies…

  
Disappointingly Alexander refuses his initial offer for a dance and he gets sent back to work after one more kiss or three. The silver lining is that Alec goes directly to a secluded seat near the bar staying perfectly within Magnus’s sight for the next two hours in which business is conducted and interventions are offered… 

  
As the night goes on, the patrons are getting more and more happy vibes, glitter is falling from the ceiling, and few brave and clearly unobservant people try to approach Alec with various levels of clearly lewd propositions… 

  
Satisfied and vindicated purring vibrates in his core at seeing each and every one of them being rejected in an increasingly more determined and absolutely clear way… 

  
After each time, noticing a twitch in Alexander’s body as if it’s fighting the impulse to get up and finally, oh finally, come and sit at his side… on his lap… at his feet, he does not care as long as they get to stay closer… 

  
And since he has reached another planned break, Magnus rises regally from his couch and prowls down. Using his magic to trigger a signal to the dj station, to play his requests at the end of the [current song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jc4rG1UVXY). Walking sensually down the path that will lead him into the arms of his angel… 

  
He can feel Alexander’s eyes all over him, not at all shy, adoration lighting them up. And the desire of taking control of him clearly displayed in the adoration of that look, hypnotized completely ready to pull another one. And it’s alright he knows exactly what he wants to do, they both get the vibe in the air and it’s gonna be lit tonight, no lies indeed… 

  
And oh boy, if it doesn’t feel like they are on fire when he stands a mere step in front of his lover, a hand extended, offered in invitation as the first note of one [ familiar song](https://youtu.be/6JCLY0Rlx6Q?t=19) vibrates in the air.

As soon as recognition fills Alec’s eyes, Magnus playfully looks back, which makes Alexander spring into action, quickly vacating the seat and grabbing his hand, growling in his ear “Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, I know you’re holding back” at that he just grinned looking back, pleased with himself and he said “Shut up and dance with me,” walking backwards toward the dance floor. Alec looks startled for a moment after taking his arm, and as they take the floor he said: “Oh don’t _you_ dare look back just keep your eyes on me.” 

  
If their dancing looked more like it belonged in a private party or a bedroom than the middle of Pandemonium’s floor, no one complained about the free show of Magnus Bane possessively holding onto his shadowhunter. 

  
One of his hands holding his angel close by the nape of the neck, his thumb reverently tracing the deflect rune, taking his time to feel the raised heartbeat on the pulse point every time his other hand roams from the broad back down to the perfect ass hugged in leather. Pushing their bodies closer as their hips swing in a familiar rhythm, eyes sliding half closed as the rest of the world disappears from their immediate senses. Only the warm breath and the softest of groans are exchanged between them as the next song comes along.

  
Leaving behind any attempt of maintaining control, Magnus finds himself pressing a hungry kiss on that tempting mouth to swallow every small sound that escapes from those lips… For Alexander _is_ his. Everything intrinsically Alexander’s, every gesture, every movement, every sound is unequivocally his. His magic is happily and greedily agreeing with the claim, emanating protective possessive vibes as it pulses and engulf them both… 

  
The humming of the wards increasing in his ears due to his heightened emotions. Magnus is feeling like he is being rebuilt from the ground to make them one single entity. Not a single soul present, even if mundane, can deny the chemistry and love pouring from every touch.

  
Licking his lips to savour the last trace of Alexander on him, unconsciously exposing his cat eyes. Baring himself for the man still locked in his hold, who is holding him back like they are each other’s lifeline in the midst of a sea storm, where any other line is gone. 

  
He is slowly walking them back toward the VIP area where he still has matters to attend. “Stay with me, okay?” The vulnerability he can hear in his voice is mirrored in Alexander’s eyes. The words clearly choking and so hard to tumble out of kissed lips “Magnus… I can’t…” Magnus shakes his head holding tighter instead of letting go “Come on. Stay with me.”

  
It is with a relieved breath that he can see Alexander’s resolve leaving, taking away the rigidity that was present in the now dropping shoulders. He takes them to his couch and gently pushes Alexander down into a lounging position, half sitting, half laying, before taking a seat himself letting his back rest against Alec’s abdomen, sprawling himself like a blanket to protect and keep his angel close.

  
During the remainder of the night, one hand returns to its place on Alexander’s knee, while the other never roams far from the soft locks his fingers never really stopped playing with since he managed to convince his angel to stay in physical contact. He knew it would feel good to have his angel so close while working, though he can honestly say that even with his mere presence Alexander manages to surprise him. He has no recollection of his magic feeling this happy since the day Alexander acknowledged their relationship publicly at an event hosted by the Institute… 

  
The thought wouldn’t filter through Magnus’s conscious thoughts till later on, that this night is actually very much the same situation yet reversed. However his magic knows and it lets everyone else who is listening know and acknowledge that fact too…

  
The balance of power has been established. Even if the Clave, in its usual stupid fashion, is not yet smart enough to be up to speed with the notion, the entirety of New York’s Shadow world now has the confirmation that Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are, from now on, just the Lightwood-Banes. A single powerful entity able to offer aid and protection… Witnessing such a claim settled any worry that might have been there, to the point of letting the downworlders believe that it would not matter to whom they might choose to contact and report their problems to, they now have the proof needed that any raised matter will be dealt with all the resources available and to the best intentions to reach the most favourable outcome.

* * *

  
  


Sometimes things don’t go as expected, and that could either spell disaster or a surprise… And to tell the truth Alec finds himself leaning toward the side of being surprised.

_The outing at Pandemonium wasn't so bad. The fact that, apparently, despite packing it with the meetings, Magnus managed to slot in times for the two of them to just be close was the highlight of the long night._

_However, he despises himself for crashing near the end of the evening. His head pounding and wings itching so badly he felt like crying. He was so sore, to the point that Alec let himself cave into the need to hold on to Magnus to keep the pain at bay. It disregarded all common courtesy for Magnus’s associates and was unprofessional to lay on the couch. He had been protecting his back while curling himself around Magnus like a possessive cat, closing his eyes and anchoring himself in his boyfriend’s smell and touch._

Thinking back on it now makes him growl in embarrassment and shame. Sure, the club is not exactly a place where anyone but Magnus goes dressed formally, but Alec does believe some manners should be offered at all times. He feels frustrated by his own lack of control and decorum. At the Institute such disrespect would have been frowned upon.

Sure, if he thinks back on how the night continued once they stumbled back at home, he can still feel and see the euphoria and pure unadulterated pleasure rolling out in waves from his partner. The same look of deep satisfaction is still present on each and every line of Magnus’s profile, as the man practically dances toward him to place a kiss on his lips and wraps a possessive, cuddling hug around Alec’s shoulders. 

“Morning Alexander, I’m surprised to see you up so early..” 

Alec can only hum softly, gloomy thoughts still hanging on the forefront of his mind. He takes a deep breath before trying to let them take shape. “Good morning… Magnus, look, about last night I-”

The words have barely left his lips when he gets interrupted by a kiss so hot that he can feel his fears slowly melt away, dissolving like morning mist. “Last night was perfect darling, you seemed to enjoy it too, didn’t you?”

Magnus is murmuring those words directly onto his skin, both their bodies melting into each other, teasingly tantalising the senses with promises of pleasure if they only would return to the bedroom… “Yeah it was good but-” 

Magnus once more interrupts, and the hopeful tone of voice and the restrained desire shining in the beautiful golden eyes staring at him makes Alec stop, breathless. 

The apology he was trying so hard to deliver, that was only momentarily forgotten before completely dies at the pleading request that stops this attempt.

“Does that mean you’ll come around more often from now on, Darling?” 

There is nothing he would ever deny to Magnus, even more so if it is something clearly and verbally asked for… It’s the reason why it shouldn’t be such a surprise that, even without realising it, Alec has agreed to multiple repeats of last night for the foreseeable future… 

The joyous smile gracing and lighting up Magnus’s face makes up for any discomfort he will feel when going to the club… It is the kind of smile he wishes he could always see on Magnus’s face… 

It’s even better if Alec can manage to be the main reason why those smiles make an appearance. He wants to do everything in his power to have them reappearing as often as possible… 

However the itching on his back brings forward a small frown and a pleading tone of his own “Could we please take it slowly?”

Apparently Magnus seems still riding high on the emotions from last night to mind too much about waiting for the next time another night like the previous one can happen. That’s probably why the agreement is quick and without conditions.

“Of course Alexander, we’ll take our time… As long as you do come. Once a week should be a good start, don’t you think?” 

So Alec just gets to take a relieved intake of air at that. He is honestly unsure where the breathless quality of it comes from. Whether it’s the relief at the knowledge that, at least for a while, he will have one week in between nights out, or because Magnus has started nuzzling affectionately against his neck purring softly like a deliciously loving cat… 

And oh sweet Raziel, Alec loves cats… Chuckling softly, he starts to return the nuzzling. He works his hand around Magnus’s back to hold him close, peppering small kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.  
  


The coffee sits forgotten on the table. 

Alec ponders quietly whether he can afford to play hooky today after yesterday’s disappearing act, or if that’d be too unsavoury and unprofessional on his part… In the end the sense of duty is stronger, slightly helped by the uncomfortable itch in his wings, reminding him he better also remember to take care of himself. 

While what he calls the ‘wing’s glamour’ works to make them invisible and remove their physical perception from anyone around him, it doesn’t protect the wings themselves from harm… He doesn't know exactly why cloaking works the way it does.

“Magnus we need to get going with our day. You surely have clients to satisfy and I cannot afford to play hooky so soon.” 

A half amused, half disappointed huff precedes Magnus’s playful words, “Lies, all lies… As if the Head of the Institute would ever play hooky… I’ll let you know mister, I do know the man in question. A pretty bad ass hard working man, I would have to see it with my own two eyes before I believe he would willingly walk away from his work for a day of dalliances…”

A soft chuckle and cheeky grin is all Alec can offer to his lover, teasingly keeping their lips apart. 

“Another time and I’m pretty sure I could convince him to give it a chance… I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be… Also I’m pretty sure that if you put your own influence to good use, it is something that might happen…” 

Magnus is smiling at him mischievously. “I will require that in written form, so that not even the paperwork driven Leader of the Institute might contest it and back out of such a serious offer… I can see though that you’re almost out the door already Darling. Should I make you a portal if you’re in such a hurry?”

Alec is unable to hear traces of resentment in Magnus’s voice, which brings forward a sense of relief. The temptation of accepting the offer for a portal is great. It would allow him more alone time at the institute to take care of things, namely his wings. 

While his mind is busy weighting the pros and cons he starts to bite his lower lip in concentration. He’s returned to the here and now by Magnus’s thumb gently stroking his lip, disentangling it from the toothy cage it was trapped in. Alec lets a soft sigh escape at the sensation of the touch, as he listens to Magnus’s equally soft words.

“There you are, Love. Sometimes I wonder, you do happen to know I don’t mind if you actually accept my offers of help once in a while, right?” 

He offers a half smile and a self deprecating shrug of his shoulders. The fact that Magnus doesn’t _'mind'_ is not reason enough for it to be ok for him to take advantage of that without a real need for it.

“I know Magnus. But… I just really cannot justify asking for a portal when really, only paperwork is waiting for me. Especially since I do not know exactly what’s on your schedule today. You might need to save your strength for something more important.” 

Raising his eyes to look at Magnus, he sees the lewd suggestive look being directed at him. Then that menace of his boyfriend leans over sultry whispering in his ear. 

“Alexander, are you subtly inviting me to a long lunch break in your office later on today?”

Alec’s laugh is honest and carefree, efficiently dispelling any dark and gloomy clouds threatening to show up and ruin the day. 

“You are ridiculous… I love you, I better get on my way now.” Alec places a placating kiss on Magnus’s lips before gently caressing the smooth skin of Magnus’s wrist. “I’ll see you later…”

The run to the Institute doesn’t take too long, and other than filling part of his daily training quota, it offers the perfect opportunity for a long shower and some day after care. The day proceeds like any other, nothing exceptional in the mountains of paperwork that are submerging his desk… 

The patrol schedule is ready. His shadowhunters who are in service right now require no direct supervision. The younger generation of recruits is either training or studying… None of his siblings nor friends has created an emergency that could potentially destroy the world… And there are no raging calls or insistent fire messages from the Clave… 

All in all this day seems to be a promisingly boring one… 

And of course he ends up jinxing himself. As soon as the thought dares to start taking form into his mind there is an ominous knocking on his door… “Come in” 

A very collected and formal Head of Security takes a single step inside the office, perfectly positioned to stay visible from both the inside and outside of the room. 

When the door opens and there is no movement to close it, that is all it takes for Alec to raise his eyes from the paperwork and focus his attention on the new situation. 

Despite the smile and the invitation to come in and sit, Alec pointing to the chairs on the other side of his desk, he can see Underhill is not relaxing at all, nor stepping inside.

“What can I do for you, Andrew?” He receives a small nod before Andrew gets on with what needs to be said. 

“Sir, there is an envoy representative from the Unseelie’s court requesting an audience with Alec Lightwood.” 

The wording is all it takes to send shivers down Alec’s back. He springs up from the chair to reach the door and greet the unknown party, nodding a silent order to Andrew.

“By all means, I’m free right now, if this is a good time?”

Reaching the door he’s briefly stunned by the eerie androgynous being standing tall in the middle of the group. There are two armed knights on their sides and a goblin one step behind completing the clearly defensive formation. 

It takes just barely a second of surprise, hardly longer than the blink of an eye, for Alec to look at each member of the group in the eyes. 

He offers a half nod before opening his arm, hand’s palm up, motioning for the couches and the armchairs around the coffee table present in his office on the opposite side from where his desk is. The one appearing to lead the group nods their agreement and starts walking toward one of the couches.

“Thank you Andrew. Unless our guests have any particular needs that cannot be catered to by what’s already present in the office I think we’re going to be ok.” 

Alec looks at his guests waiting for any clue that would answer his implied question. When the group shook their heads he smiles and nods his thanks to Andrew once more.

The people seated in his office are waiting for Underhill to leave the room, carefully watching each movement Alec takes, from closing the door to walking back to the sitting area.

The group holds Alec’s interest. The goblin is the easiest to identify by the characteristic short stature and wrinkled skin. The drow woman wearing knights armour can be easily identified by the perfectly silver white hair and the dark skin tone that appears perfectly ready to blend unseen into the shadows. While the male unseelie knight has the telltale marks that give away his species, it is the leader that fills Alec with restrained curiosity.

The androgynous form gives nothing away, no visible marks or characteristic traits are present. The eyes, while almost lilac, don’t hold any other suggestion of what kind of supernatural being they are.

Before his looking could last long enough to be considered open staring, Alec falls back on manners and formalities. It is proper form, after all, for niceties to be observed. “May I offer something to drink before we get down to business?”

While the tone is curt and business like, the answer is delivered with a soft, curious expression. He has no doubts he’s being studied, evaluated and judged. He just wishes he could know what it was based on... “We’ll be fine for now. I am here to talk and bring you a message from the Unseelie’s King, Alec Lightwood. My name is Arkqual and rumours have it that you are the person to contact…”

Alec listens and nods and then tries to test the waters, searching for how to avoid giving offence while still obtaining the information and clues he needs to deal with the situation in the best and most appropriate way. “If you let me know what your King might need assistance with, the Institute might be able to offer said assistance on the matter.”

Arkqual’s voice takes on a softer note as if suddenly realizing that, despite the attempt to be straightforward, maybe Alec has not yet grasped the capacity in which he’s being consulted... Which if Alec could be perfectly honest, the assumption would be completely spot on.

“Mr Lightwood, your role as Head of the Institute might bring you more resources for you to access and allows you a farther reach to promote change in the Shadow World. And while yes, this also presents itself as a prominent example of your personal ethics and problem solving skills we are here to present the situation at hand to you as a person... Alec Lightwood. Please make no mistake, had there been another sitting in behind that desk, we would be having this same conversation in your own personal quarters, or wherever else it would be possible to reach _you_ ”

While the whole concept is a little daunting, the only thing Alec can do now is nod and save his thoughts on the subject for later, once he actually knows what all this is about.

“In that case, how can _I_ be of assistance?”

He smiles and keeps his body language as relaxed as possible as the conversation takes on a completely different angle. When Arkqual asks the next question he can feel the eyes of all those present watching him more intently and attentively than before. “What do you know about the Unseelie court?”

Alec recognises that the question could be at least a little tricky. On one hand, he could stick with just what he knows from the Clave, or he could be upfront and also add into his evaluation what he learnt last night while being at the club. 

Knowing that his knowledge is lacking, and that he is missing a lot of information on how the Unseelie’s court is actually run makes it an easy decision. If he wants to change the world, he should take leaps of faith as well. It is completely unfair and unreasonable to expect the downworlders taking their chances in trusting him without him returning the favour…

“I don’t really have much information on how the court is truly run. As far as the Clave is concerned, nothing has changed since the end of the last war between the seelie and unseelie courts... However, personally I’ve heard there is some unrest. 

There are rumours that all of the races usually grouped and referred to as unseelies, are wanting the court to be united and represented, and for it to have a voice in the decisions pertaining to the Downworld. And, unlike previous times, there are no hints about any possible war against the seelie court to obtain recognition… 

When I established the Downworld Cabinet I sent an invite for the unseelie court to send delegates, but I never received a reply nor did anyone ever show up, despite the open invitation.”

Alec can see the satisfied smirk blossoming on Arkqual’s face as it both softens and becomes more focused. If he was inclined to guess he’d say almost vindicated? 

He’s unsure since it is the first time he has met them, but he gets the impression he just passed a test he wasn’t even aware of facing... Which in and of itself is already something able to send chills down his spine.

“You are a good choice. I did say so before, and you just proved me right in front of witnesses. I call for the acknowledgement of my motion.” The murmurs of assent seem to spark a subtle magical breeze gently caressing all those present, increasing its momentum as each member of the party states their presence and agreement.

“I Guthzeraigh recognise as true in spirit and intent the motion moved by advisor Arkqual, sharp as the blades that make thousands fall...” 

Despite the guttural quality of the goblin’s voice, the words ring clear and powerful, weirdly in contrast with how soft spoken the drow’s words are.

“I Uralya recognise the motion proposed by Arkqual as just and pure, shining with bright intention as the evening star shines through the night...”

The unseelie knight was the last one of the group to speak, and his tone sounded even softer than the others, almost reverent. 

“I, Caelious, of the Royal Guard of his Majesty King’s Kerian, standing in the presence of three witnesses, recognise the truth of ambassador and adviser Arkqual.”

Alec can feel the circle of acknowledgement closing in on him. If someone were to ask him, he wouldn’t be able to explain how he is able to feel this, even less how he knows what’s expected of him… 

He doesn’t know why, at this moment, all the stories he read as a kid, about the winged protectors and their quests for unity, come rushing back to the forefront of his mind, despite having been years since the last time he consciously thought about them… 

He’s not sure he would be able to answer how he has the knowledge on what to say to complete the ritual that is clearly being carried on… There was nothing of this sort in any of the diaries he had read through the years, and yet the words slip out his mouth easily... As if they have always been inside his head, and were just waiting for the moment when they would be needed.

“I, Alexander Gideon Lightwood acknowledge the request petitioned by the Unseelie’s court envoy, presented by Arkqual, witnessed and supported by the knights Guthzeraigh, Uralya and Caelious… And pledge to evaluate the request with all due considerations. So mote it be.”

As one, the party in front of him chants in return “So mote it be” as the magic settles once the circle is complete. Arkqual’s smirk only grows after hearing Alec’s pledge, the mirth shining bright in those lilac eyes. 

“A pretty face and a beautifully sharp mind. I can see how many could find themselves enchanted by you, Mr Lightwood.” 

Alec only raises an inquisitive eyebrow to that comment, which is met with a clear laugher and a nonchalant shrug. 

“You are neither the first nor the only one who received the request we’ll discuss… You are, however, the first, within my lifetime and my memories, who didn’t just follow recklessly the mild compulsion of the ritual, blindly accepting a quest without knowing what it is or if they would believe in it…” 

It is just a brief moment, the glamour covering Arkqual’s looks flickers. Their eyes stare focused on Alec’s, very sharp teeth peek from the smirk that is too toothy to be entirely friendly, claws and talons making their appearance and adding a layer of dangerous precision to the perfectly controlled ephemeral figure… 

And even after all that, despite feeling naked, like both his wings and his soul are bared in the open and under the scrutiny, Alec’s heart doesn’t waver. No hint of fear or surprise enters his mind at seeing those features that most would likely consider frightening.

“You surprise me Alec Lightwood. A blessed protector, who even after taking the weight of the world on his shoulders, still has a soul deserving protection and eyes unclouded by fears... We’ll be back soon with more details for you... Until then, farewell.”

Still looking meditative, the group leaves the office without another word. Alec is still unsure on how he should take what just happened. Nor does he know how to even begin to elaborate on the words he just heard, so he simply offers a nod, standing as well while they walk away...

This meeting has left him with more questions than before and no clear ways for how to solve this new riddle. 

He supposes that time will tell what’s going on and what he will be needed for.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Magnus is excited at having Alec coming to the club during his working time, to spend the night there mingling with their people. Or resting and curling around Magnus on their couch. 

It brings a sense of peace and joy he never thought he would ever feel while dating the shadowhunter. 

Nephilims notoriously die young. They die a quick and violent death at that. 

The fact is that his Nephilim has both a reckless parabatai and protective instincts nurtured from a young age. It never bodes well for Magnus’s peace of mind. And to further exacerbate the nerve wracking experience, Alec’s own ‘ _I’m fine, don’t worry_ ’ attitude has the potential to make things uncomfortable and complicated…

So yes, he can gush to himself at the warm and fuzzy feeling of Alec’s presence safe and protected under his wards.The warmth of contentment can only spread while watching other downworlders, _their people_ , approach Alec to discuss something while he is sitting in a quiet corner of the bar, while Magnus himself is busy dealing with another meeting.

Magnus can freely admit, if only to himself and Alec, that he is very curious about what’s being discussed. 

He also knows that for this to work out for the best, any and all talk about what’s being said and what Alec decides has to be private and away from curious eyes and ears. He trusts Alec in a way he has never trusted another before. Sure in his long life he has entrusted parts of his life to friends or lovers… But never to the extent that he does with Alec. Not even Camille, who was the only lover Magnus ever came close to building a life with…

It’s both terrifying and amazing, giving everything he is and has to another, and having them to reciprocate, adding their own share to the plate and offering to watch together over it all…

Magnus never considered himself as a man of faith. He has seen so many religions rise just to be twisted and distorted, losing their foundations to the point that any man created construct becomes unappealing. 

He is, however, a man of beliefs… 

He believes in his magic, the power he was born with and he nurtured and taught himself to control, he knows it will not fail him. He believes in his friends, the ones he calls family, as few as they are, to the point of leaving spare fingers if counted on a single hand. He does believe they will be there for him no matter how deep of a hole he can manage to dig himself into.

And now, now he believes in Alec. He has the pleasure and pride of seeing his Alexander grow each day into the leader that could help shape the future Shadow World into better times.

A man standing firmly on the ground, like ruins in the sand unwilling to be defeated by outside forces. A man ready to blow it all up just to make something right. It might take a minute, there might be a brief moment of hesitation in the very beginning, but once the decision is made Alexander will see it through…

Once it’s late enough into their night out, Magnus will be able to go and claim Alexander for his own.  
  
There have already been three different groups of seelies, both male and female alike, joining and discussing matters with Alexander. Probably flirting happened as well if the bouts of colour on Alec’s face were anything to go by. Fortunately, apparently nothing untoward happened. Or at least nothing said has been so outrageous as to upset Alec to the point of summoning Alec’s poker face and more brusque rejections techniques… 

Taking a minute to observe better, it seems instead that his lover has caught up with his political role. It really is pretty awe inspiring and sort of amazing watching that smile appearing on Alec’s face… 

It is probably one of the best polite, butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth smiles that Magnus has ever seen in all of his centuries… Including all of the ones he ever saw while standing on either side of holding an official position, either within the Accords Hall in Idris or in any Downworld meeting. 

Such a smile, for those able to recognise it, can just about guarantee that whatever smartass remark is being flung at the one wearing it, is soo going to come back and bite the ass of the fool uttering such careless words… 

It bodes so well for their future, that Magnus can almost taste the satisfaction of seeing the final result of this moment unfolding in front of them in all its glory. 

And honestly, it is such an attractive look on his lover that Magnus decides it is well past the time to go to the bar and claim some of Alexander’s attention for himself.

Magnus is burning with curiosity on why it started with seelies reaching out to Alec, but he can keep it on hold until they are safely home. For now, it’s enough to dance some, and then pull his angel back to their couch for some cuddles and relaxation before leaving… 

Since that first time, Magnus has found great delight in making sure he regularly enjoys some quality time with Alexander through the night. 

One of the most rewarding part of the evening is near the end of the night, when the dance floor starts to have fewer patrons on it, offering a little more space with fewer grabby, touching, feeling hands to come their way as they dance. He noticed long ago that Alec doesn’t do particularly well in crowds and avoids being in close quarters with other people when it’s possible.

That’s the reason why Magnus tries to make sure they have some breathing space for dancing. To the point he ended up creating a very small addition to the dance floor. It’s not much, just a one step high platform that is barely large enough for a couple to stand on. 

Not raised enough to pull attention, the platform is strategically placed to be partially shielded and surrounded by both the vip area and the stairs leading up to it. 

It is certainly so close to where Magnus holds court that no downworlder who hasn’t been invited there would be foolish enough to dare step on it… The spell and additional wards keep away the mundanes, distracting them from ever noticing it in the first place.

It is a space close enough to the privacy wards of the vip area that Magnus is able to let the sound softening spell piggy ride on them, having it keyed down to their magical signature.

Which led to one of the most curious peculiarities he has observed since Alexander started to spend a great deal of time under his wards. He can feel Alexander as having a presence that’s different than anyone he has ever met.

To his wards, Alexander feels closer and more similar to the rest of Magnus’s immortal family, rather than the feeling all the other nephilims seems to have… And that, weirdly enough, includes the other special cases with powered up angel blood like Biscuit and the Herondale boy…

He doesn’t know why Alec would feel different even from a blood related sibling like Isabelle. Something of the sort should not be possible and it shouldn’t happen. But that particularity, despite the academic interest it springs and that could be worth exploring later on, is also what allows Magnus to create a dial of sorts.

Should Alec decide some quiet time away from the bar counter is needed, but deem it too early in the evening to simply join him up on their couch, his lover can come there and have a small bubble of buffered privacy, with absolute control on how much noise is allowed into the space. It is a perfect gift of breathing space for Alexander.

The small alteration to the floor’s design was totally worth the look of pure adoration and relief, with the consequent breathtaking and toe curling kiss he receives as thanks from his lover… 

As far as thanks go, even amongst all the things Alexander gifts him with on multiple occasions, this is the most wordless thank you that Magnus has ever received that speaks so clearly of deep gratitude, devotion and pure unconditional love. 

Thinking that just such a small gesture could make Alexander’s eyes tear up enough to shine like precious gems. It’s both taking away his breath while breaking his heart a little… It is a breathtaking feeling, how much it means to Alec, to have one more corner of the club where he could be comfortable, without having to resort to hide in the office. 

And boy, his lover totally is very demonstrative in his appreciation... Including, amongst other means, breathtaking kisses while pinning Magnus against the wall that raises the vip’ platform to its current level. The first time he took Alec there, their bodies had been deliciously in each other's space by choice, moving with intent then and many other times afterwards… 

On the other hand, Magnus finds the reaction heartbreaking. Because no one should ever feel and react that way, as if they have just been given the whole world on top of their most precious desire, wrapped up together with beautiful shiny gift paper and the prettiest bow. Not when all that was offered was a small consideration for their comfort… 

Magnus knows for a fact that Alec is considered a big brother extraordinaire and loving parental figure for all who lost theirs or never had a reliable guardian to lean on. As Alec always makes sure the young ones know what comfort is, doing all that is possible, and at times even the impossible, to guarantee that they are always as comfortable as feasible. 

All the childhood and recent stories, told either by the Lightwood siblings or by a few of the younger shadowhunters fostered at the Institute, make it clear just to what length his Alexander is willing to go for the comfort of his people… The thought that his angel is genuinely surprised at the mere mention that the same lengths should applied in the pursuit of Alec’s own comfort leaves Magnus filled with sadness and rage at how Maryse and Robert raised their oldest son.

The memories sneak up on Magnus like unexpected and maybe not totally welcome guests, but if there’s something other than magic that he’s very proficient at, then rolling with things as they come is definitively on top of the list.

And if Magnus does make it a point to finish each and every night out at Pandemonium with the last of his meeting being held as he cards his fingers through Alec’s hair while lounging against his lover laying down tiredly Well, no one is foolish nor stupid enough to try calling him out for it… After all, it doesn’t bode well to piss off the one who’s going to help out…

  
  


It takes Magnus few days of letting his curiosity simmer before it gets the best of him and simply he _has to_ ask Alexander about it…

It’s not that he doesn’t trust Alec to make the best choices. But seelies are not exactly the most straightforward beings, and it would be completely untruthful for him to say that he is not completely puzzled by why it is the Seelies that came forward first. They tend to stay cooped up in their realm and happily ignore the rest of the shadow world unless they could gain something from a situation, might it be favours, prestige, or amusement... 

That’s why he cautiously approaches the question he really wants to ask. There’s no need to spook his angel quite yet. “Alexander, you do know I respect you, and if I ask you something it’s not because I’m doubting your skill, right?”

He can see Alec’s eyes widen with surprise and curiosity in the tilted head as Magnus faces him. “Of course Magnus, what is it all about? I don’t understand.”

Magnus smiles gently, continuing with a teasing note in his voice, “Darling it’s just I’m curious. The other night you were pretty popular with the seelies. If I was more insecure I might have to start wondering if I should be concerned with the coming and going of so many requesting your attention...”

Alexander sends him a loving smile and quickly comes to caress his face and rest their foreheads together.

“I only have eyes for you Magnus. Even if my attentions were ever courted... And believe me, I don’t think anyone would ever be interested in that, but even if I had somehow caught someone else’s attention, it wouldn’t matter... Yours is the only one I want. Your eyes are the only ones I always want on me... You are the one I want, for as long as you’ll have me”

Despite the words filling his heart with love and gratitude, it is not exactly where he wants the discussion to go. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from nuzzling a small kiss to his besotted lover. He rewards the adoration in Alexander’s eyes with a momentary drop of his glamour, thoroughly enjoying the immediate reaction it still provokes. 

Maybe it’s a little mean of him, getting a rise from his lover when all he really wants to do is actually satisfying his curiosity... even if he will never turn down the opportunity for some one on one action...

“Oh Darling, you know you have always my attention. What I mean, however, is to ask you about what is so interesting that so many seelies came to you throughout the evening... Or is it actually a single matter being approached by different individuals? I am seriously just wondering what decisions you are coming up with.” 

Alexander’s confusion only seems to grow the more Magnus explains. “I didn’t make any decisions. Why are you saying that? Those seelies were just asking me about hypothetical scenarios. I don’t get why you’d say that, I didn’t make any decisions there... Magnus seriously what are you talking about?”

He could see the panic slowly entering Alec’s eyes. Tension sweeps into Alec’s body like a poison, so Magnus goes on to assure his lover that everything is fine.

“Darling it’s ok, I am just asking because I do not trust the seelies to not attempt coming to you to undo something they didn't like in my propositions. But don’t worry! I’m sure it’s nothing as worrisome as that. After all, the members of the court know better than to try such a manoeuvre.”

Despite being still rigid in his embrace Alexander nods and Magnus takes that as a good sign.

It takes a few weeks to finally realise that no, things are not ok.

Alec suddenly finds ways to just make an appearance at the club, while ending up being completely unapproachable. His angel is spending more time on what has become his corner of the vip lounge, on the dance floor, or in the office claiming the need for some rest or some nap time…

Things are starting to become increasingly disquieting. Magnus has no idea what he did wrong or why Alec seems to be keeping away from Downworlders business… To the point where Magnus can hear whisperings through the grapevine that the Shadow world is starting to wonder if there is something wrong with their relationship… He usually can deal, or better yet completely ignore such talk on any given day...

On a bad day, however, Magnus’s own insecurities start to nag at the back of his mind, making him wonder if trouble is slowly brewing, if he should expect something bad to happen… 

He tries a couple of times to raise the subject with Alexander, but apparently, as soon as they get closer to the subject, Magnus is faced with Alec Lightwood, the Head of the Institute, standing firmly in the shadowhunters’ mentality of ‘we should not interfere in downworlder affairs’… 

When that happens Alexander stops talking to him as his lover, but as purely a fellow leader. He tries his best to understand, to not be hurt in the process, but thus far he is unsuccessful. Even if for the moment only it’s just whispered rumours and concerned glances he doesn’t really know what he should do now. 

When he hears that Lucian and Raphael have taken it upon themselves to talk to Alec and straighten out the situation, Magnus isn’t completely sure if it will help or just make things worse. 

If Magnus could be completely truthful with himself, he’d be able to admit, at least in the darkest corner of his mind, that he is torn. He is caught between feeling glad for the help because he doesn’t know how the situation came to be, let alone how to try and fix it, and feeling jealous that external help might be needed to solve something in his own relationship… 

Magnus is so blindsided. He doesn’t even know what he did that was so wrong... His lover is no longer willing to share what has become their role… Doing the work that is now supposed to be done by both Magnus and Alexander. He might have been alive for centuries, but he has never been a patient man. Being in the position to have to wait and see is not something he enjoys. 

But, until Alec lets him back in, he can only try and show his angel he’s not going anywhere…

They will get through this. He knows that, yet it doesn’t change his current frustration at the situation.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were not able to get to the embedded songs here're the credits due.
> 
> First one is [Alec Lightwood Creations' fan video No lie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jc4rG1UVXY) second one the lyrics might be a little more familiar a [Walk the Moon, Shut up adn dance](https://youtu.be/6JCLY0Rlx6Q?t=19)
> 
> Hope you had fun, two down four more weeks to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One lil note and i’ll let you go, from now on it’s single pov chapter, we are going to enter Alec’s head.

The first person to actually speak up and directly confront Alec is Luke. 

“Alec, are you and Magnus all right?” Alec looks up, confused eyebrows knitting in concentration as he tries to process the question. 

“Yeah, I guess so…? Is there something I’m missing?” He blinks, searching for something in the other man’s face that could help him understand where all this is coming from, or what it’s supposed to mean. 

“It’s just... You haven’t been seen interacting with people at Pandemonium in a while… It’s almost like you’re not even going there anymore…”

The raised eyebrow on Alec’s face carries out loud and clear the ‘so what?’. At the lack of understanding from the younger man, Luke keeps talking. “You do know, right, that as High Warlock Magnus has held his open office hours at Pandemonium for decades? That’s where part of his work is… It’s where people go to reach out and talk with him without necessarily making what they say official business…” 

This draws a sharp, curt nod from Alec. He had started getting the inkling a few weeks ago, when Magnus had asked about his interaction with the Seelies. Alec has no reason to believe he’s missing something when he answers truthfully, “I understand.”   
  
It seems to appease the werewolf. Luke’s shoulders relax as the older man smiles softly and gives a small nod while saying goodbye to Alec. 

_What Luke Garroway doesn’t consider in his well meaning attempt, is that by now he has lived more than half of his life as a downworlder._

_Even before then, while in the circle or during the time as shadowhunter, Lucian Graymark was never groomed to be the leader, but had always been just a soldier… Luke was to Valentine what Jace is to Alec. The soldier, and parabatai who’d follow the leader to the end of the Earth, not the one who has to handle all the responsibilities…_

_Due to all that, the werewolf could not see that even with his good intentions to help, the only possible effect that would be obtained is the opposite of the one the man had hoped for… When Alec nods and says he understands, he can’t even imagine that he is missing vital information to properly decipher what Luke is saying to him. He is unable to see that maybe things are not as he thinks they are…_

_The downworld consists primarily of immortal races, composed by many individuals who would find even an almost 80 years old vampire like Raphael Santiago fairly young to hold the position of clan leader... Alec supposes after centuries, it becomes really easy for people to look suspiciously at the youngsters who still don’t know how things work because they have yet to be around enough to learn…_

_So yes, werewolves excluded, for most of the downworld Alec Lightwood is still very much young. An idealistic Nephilim who still has to learn how harsh the world really is, and how much his blood and name have granted him in the way of protection and privileges…_

_No, Alec doesn’t know, not yet, that he is seen as such... He might suspect some days due to the condescension he’s been subjected to, but he doesn’t know..._

_Maybe those divergences in perception are born from ignorance. Most downworlders do not really know much, or maybe they also don’t really care about how Nephilim society is actually structured and run. They care even less about the ambience and general attitude present in the circles where political games are played…_

_The shadow world does not yet know that the children of the angels stop being considered children and are technically considered legal adults the moment they receive the angelic rune on their 10th birthday…_

_Nor is it well known that as the oldest son of an old family, a family in which younger siblings were born, the first time Alec lost any remains of his own childhood, he was four._

_He had been entrusted and had received on his shoulders the obligations of an adult. He was the one who needed to raise and take care of the youngsters. Since, as an older brother, they are his responsibility: his to manage and to control; his to raise and to discipline._ _All of that responsibility is his, but without the benefit of having his voice heard, because lacking the angelic rune on his skin he still is seen as a child himself…_

_Not even his siblings, who were there at that time, realised that by the time he was fourteen, he had been dropped into the role of acting Head of the Institute._

_He had more experience in raising kids and having to deal with nephilim children than anyone else in the Institute. After all, he has been taking care of Max since his baby brother was born. And later on, also of Jace when his parabatai was added to the family…_

To be fair, if only by now he could barely remember to think of it, at this point in time probably no one else but himself knows. 

And, while it began with a little bit of rightful pettiness on his part, he still stands by the logic that created the situation in the first place. Relationships should be a two way street, so it is only fair for both parties to be held to the same standards. 

_Back then, when it all started to become official, when they were still trying to find their footing… Magnus kept insisting that their being together was not a reason for Alec to be entitled to know the other man’s past. If that was so, then he could not find in himself any logical reason, why he should be the only one to put himself out there, laying everything in the open._

_Magnus’s words during their first date, still echoed in his memory. “But you are so… innocent”_

_And even if it was probably not the complete unadulterated truth, Magnus probably believed that about him._ _He does recall vividly how his answer, and plea, was honest if not incomplete, “In some ways… but I don’t want you to treat me any differently.”_

_Yes there was more that he could have shared, and yet neither of them ever asked…_

  
So maybe it’s true. He was and is still seen as too young to really know what he is doing. And, okay, some days it does feel like he has no clue which path is best to walk, what direction or decision could make it easier to move the shadow world from where they are standing to where he wants to take them. But, as no other help or clarification ever comes from ‘his elders’, he keeps proceeding with the knowledge he has. 

There is nothing in the Clave’s documentation that explains how the Downworlders handle their politics. Not that he would blindly believe what any Clave’s approved texts are saying. After all, he knows those are biased from personal experience.

But the lack of anything else pointing to the contrary, it simply leaves him in the position of believing the only logical assumption, that how other factions’ politics work is similar to how things are handled among his own people… Starting from that, he knows that his people would never dare to come to him and share what needed to be said in the presence of outsiders. Especially if such meetings are supposed to be part of an unofficial open office policy, to handle issues before they reach the point of having to be reported and written down to leave a paper trail… 

Of course it doesn’t help that he is unable to forget the whispers and distrust clearly shown every time he was too close to his boyfriend at the beginning of their relationship. His general attitude has not changed and hef still treats any downworlder with the same respect and amount of formality reserved for people in official positions. Nor have his manners wavered in the slightest to this day.

He really can’t see how his presence in Magnus’s workplace, where the High Warlock is supposed to be more available, would be anything but an obstacle for Magnus’s duties… All of this makes it basically impossible for him to even begin to understand why his absence would be frowned upon now. Especially when only a few months before, his mere presence just used to make people more uncomfortable… 

And if there is a tiny little shard of self preservation within him, that makes him grateful to have a good reason to avoid spending time in the death trap of pain his boyfriend and siblings call a club… Well he is man enough to admit, at least to himself, that he will hold onto that good reason for all that it’s worth. 

As it is, his survival instinct is the only thing he can hold onto. He tries to not cave in, every time he sees the flash of hurt and rejection that appears briefly in Magnus’s eyes, when he refuses going to the club, or when he avoids company while there.

  
  
  


The second person who corners him, this time during the nighttime, is the leader of New York vampires’s clan, Raphael Santiago.

This time around, the conversation is actually more enlightening. Maybe it is the fact that Raphael lived through a similar situation, being seen as little more than a child by the rest of the downworld despite the fact that Raphael is charismatic and strong enough to organize a coup d’état, overthrowing Camille and taking over the leadership of the clan, stepping into full ownership and management of the Hotel Dumort. 

Or maybe it’s the fact that Raphael, being Magnus’s son in all but blood, has a unique insight to many details of Alec’s personal life, making it easier for the vampire to guess how he might react in a given situation. Also if there’s one thing no one can ever accuse Raphael of, it’s mincing words to spare one’s feelings...

“Hey Lightwood, are you free to take a coffee? I need a chat with you, in private.” Alec looks surprised but nods his agreement anyway. It’s not like listening to the older man could be harmful in any way... 

“I could use some coffee. Lead the way and lets have this chat then.”

Alexander follows Raphael and is led to a private room not too far away from where they had met. He doesn't know exactly what's going on, the room clearly seems to be a vampire safe house. Yet there are accessories he wouldn't have expected to see in a meeting room tailored for vampires: a coffee machine, and water in the fridge. 

“Now that we’re here, what can I do for you Raphael?" Raphael’s head shakes in disagreement, a knowing smirk on the vampire’s face. "I believe it's more like, what I can do for you Lightwood… Tell me what do you know of the downworlds politics?”

Alexander is once more faced with what sounds a terribly tricky question. “What exactly are you asking me? I don't understand where this is coming from. If there's one thing I know about you, it is that you have always given me the facts as they are, no useless mind games. You are blunt to a fault, so why don’t you tell me exactly what all this is about?”

Raphael gives him an amused smile, "and yet can you believe that between the two of us, you are the one who everyone considers especially straightforward?"

Alexander sighs softly and shrugs a little. He offers a small smile, he has heard that, and yet he knows that the way he has survived and made it this far is because he follows the seelie’s example. 

“I try to be as much as I can. Though I figure my own success depends on appearing so, most of it is related to the political dances in Idris I suppose… With the Downworld at large, most days it feels like we are watching at the same scene from different angles. Other days it appears like I am actually trying to dance a dance that, not only do I not know the steps of, but also that I am only able to watch through a stained glass window behind a waterfall… Never able to know the whole picture nor properly hearing the tune we’re supposed to follow.”

Alec’s frustration with the situation peaks on his tone, and Raphael’s sympathetic nodding leaves him a little confused. Since he’s not sure he has ever seen the vampire showing any kind of emotion so openly, even less with Alec himself… In fact if he's completely honest with himself he doesn't exactly know why he has been so openly sincere. Sharing such vulnerabilities in a place he doesn't know, and that he has not checked for threats doesn’t sound like himself at all… 

The thought triggers an alarmed reaction and suddenly he turns furiously to face the vampire.

“Where exactly did you take me? I wouldn't normally share information like that, not under normal circumstances, not even when talking to Magnus, so why I am not able to say anything but-” 

The moment he stops himself, it’s exactly the moment when he has realised that he is under special wards… Wards that didn't register to his senses because the magic they are built with is so familiar to him that it has become an automatic reaction to register them as safe…

"Are these wards two way, or were you just expecting me to spill the beans on whatever you wanted to talk about Santiago?"

He is royally pissed off right now, but he takes a centring breath and tries to get himself under control. There is no compulsion to speak. He can work around the wards’ effects by simply not talking. However he finds that the placating gesture of Raphael’s raised hands offered in surrender do their job, and he feels himself growing less defensive and more willing to listen. 

"Easy there Lightwood, it is a two way ward. The room has been created with fledglings in mind. If they arrive to me recently turned and alone, in that state, it means that they have been turned and their sire either is indisposed or simply abandoned them… Under such circumstances it is perfectly understandable for fledglings to have legitimate reasons to be distrusting of other vampires… I asked Magnus to ward a place for me, so that it could be safe and protected, somewhere where honesty and truthfulness could be guaranteed. Don’t worry, no one outside this room can listen in. That is why I wanted you in here to talk.

I am starting to think you don't know exactly what is going on. All I've been hearing around for a while is worry about your relationship with Magnus, however no one has had the guts to come and talk to you directly... And I mean, while it would take someone with at least a few brain cells to understand that something is up, but not in the relationship between you two per se, but rather with something else... Even if they aren’t exposed to you two personally, it should be obvious enough watching how disgustingly sweet you are with each other to know there’s no way your relationship is the issue here…?”

Alec looks unamused and huffs exasperatedly, "I only know that you are the second person to talk to me. And you are not making any more sense than Luke did... so I would hold back on the ‘few brain cells’ comments until more facts prove it Santiago."

Weirdly enough that just provokes a laugh out of Raphael."I always suspected we could get along, but this is even better than I ever thought possible... Let's sit down and get comfortable. I put guards out telling them to not disturb us unless there's a catastrophe, end of the world level of seriousness, is happening and we are absolutely needed. Please do send a message to your sister, or whoever else is your second in command who you can trust to follow your orders... And make sure to tell them I didn't kidnap you, this is going to take some time. 

Oh and a word of advice? Make the message for Papa vague enough he knows that you will be out of reach for the foreseeable future but also make sure to mention it’s for a diplomatic mission, so he won't rush in and interfere. I'd appreciate it very much if you could withhold it's with vampires for now. Just mention it’s with a Downworld group. That will make him so ecstatic and relieved. It will give us few hours for the quickest crash course of your life."

Both men sigh and pinch the bridge of their noses in a mirrored action that would be funny to watch, if only the situation wasn’t as truly upsetting and frustrating for the both of them as nothing else they have faced before... 

As usual Magnus's wards are exquisite, excellent, truly top notch quality... And working way too well, leaving the two leaders more exposed than either of them ever wanted to be, with *anyone*, which leaves nerves a little on the frayed side.... With the messages sent, both to Underhill and Magnus, Alec goes to the coffee machine and starts preparing himself a coffee. 

To Raphael's surprise, the large cup gets doctored with such a generous quantity of sugar some would comment it was more a cup of sugar with some coffee in it than a sweetened coffee... Seeing the look on the other man's face Alec simply shrugs, rolling with the situation before answering the unspoken question it.

"We are already going to walk out of here with more honest information about the other than we'd ever thought possible, I highly doubt you'd take this additional truth as ammunition...” Alec briefly points to his mug, and then keeps moving around the kitchenette,“and even if you were to store the information for ammunition, I'm pretty sure you wouldn’t know exactly how to use it to its full damaging potential…”

Alec shrugs fidgeting with the cup, then he abruptly changes the subject, redirecting the chat with Raphael toward its primary objective.

“From what you said, I am starting to suspect we are all actually dancing to no less than three different tunes... No wait... I believe we should make it either four or five at any given moment.” Alec sighs before taking another fortifying sip from the cup, shoulders slightly slumped, “And standing in here, I’m feeling pretty sure that none of those different layers actually have anything in common other than the players involved.” 

Raphael smiles appreciatively and hums, probably satisfied with the quick wit and intelligent reasoning Alec just demonstrated. When he tips his cup toward the fridge in question, the nod he received in answer is enough to prepare a mug, picking one that feels like the ones Magnus keeps for them at home… Like the one he jealousy hides in his office under multiple wards. The kind that will keep anything inside at the perfect temperature, at all the times once something has been poured in it. He confidently picks a sack of blood and then offers the prepared drink to Raphael before sitting and getting himself comfortable.

"I am surprised,” Raphael said, “what made you pick this?"

Alec shrugs at Raphael’s clear surprise, then looks around a little sheepishly…

"Magnus always makes sure there're two types of blood and matching plasma present in the loft. You and Simon are the only two vampires who regularly visit to the point that it would make sense to store blood for drinks instead of conjuring it...

“From that it’s just a logical deduction that it must be your favorite. I mean, I’m pretty sure we will need something to get through this ordeal. And since I could not find neither plasma nor whiskey in here to actually take the edge off, sweetened coffee and AB- blood are the only things we can actually take comfort in. I do suspect we will both need to be as clear headed as possible, so this will have to suffice.”

Raphael nods in affirmation and smiles even if it’s a little tight around the edges. “Before we get down with business, I’d appreciate if you’d indulge my curiosity. You mentioned five layers. I'd really like to hear how your mind works, would you please expand on the concept and summarise for me what the levels are.”

Alec shifts on his seat trying to get comfortable and starts playing absentmindedly with the rim of the cup.

“Well, the first two are clearly the personal and professional levels within one’s navive society. The third and fourth are the personal and professional levels within the downworld society at large, which apparently doesn't follow the same rules as individual factions’ constructs... And finally I suppose one has to navigate the layer of relationships, considering what ramifications they have within all the previous layers?”

The answer is posed as a question, doubts are swirling in Alec's mind and he is not exactly sure what to do with this new information.

Looking up at Raphael, the small nod he receives is reassuring but at the same time daunting. Because if the vampire has taken the time from a busy night to sit him down in a place he could know that he wasn't being played, clearly he is doing something really wrong... Something big enough that revolves around downworld customs, and more worrisome, he doesn’t even know what he is doing wrong...

"So what is it that I am doing wrong? As I am sure that it must be bad to deserve this intervention. It has to do with the downworld side of it, and I suppose either I am doing something wrong as a shadowhunter or just as me... Do you care to enlighten me which of the two is actually the correct assumption?”

Raphael takes a small sip from his own enchanted cup,"It is your role as half of the current Power Couple that you and Magnus form."

The snorts that interrupts Raphael is not graceful, and very much filled with disbelief and a tiny bit of ridicule. "Yeah sure. ‘Power Couple’... wasn't that something the mundane invented in their high school films?"

Raphael is clearly taken aback, and looks at Alec as he curls closer into himself on the armchair.

"Not at all. I'm afraid as far as the downworld is concerned, it is a very real thing, and you are very much part of one... To be perfectly honest, it’s not just the fact that you are dating the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Alec. It's also the fact that you are the first Head of a shadowhunter Institute who proposed the downworld cabinet, made it happen, and made damn sure it would do what it is supposed to and officially declared to do."

Alec couldn’t stop himself from looking at Raphael like everything being said was nothing more than gibberish nonsense. 

“What are you talking about? I mean why would I, or anyone else for that matter, choose to subject themselves to dealing with the frankly impressive amount of additional paperwork such a body of government produces and requires, if I was not going to make sure it'd work as it should?

Are you really telling me I’ve been judged and faced derision and scorn about the Cabinet, because no one realized that most likely all the previous failed attempts simply succumbed to the passive aggressive flood of bureaucracy that the Clave loves to dump on any kind of progressive change?” 

Now it’s clearly Raphael's turn to look as confused as Alec has been feeling since the beginning of their conversation.

"Since we got more involved with shadowhunters, yes I did hear that you all are more often than not bitching about paperwork, but I don't get what you mean… "

Alec shrugged like it was no big deal. “The Clave loves its paperwork... The way shadowhunter’s get through discipline without it turning into them getting administrative black marks on their permanent file, is to pass through either ichor duty, babysitting or paperwork... We are not exactly meant to sit still for long hours to no end. 

The reason why most of our government is made up with old people way over fifty is because our race at that point starts to lose the frenetic, buzzing need to be active. For older shadowhunters, whatever itching need for movement remains at that point, it can be taken care of just with training, keeping honed in the skills acquired during one’s youth... Young nephilim are notorious troublemakers and kept heavily under guard and strict surveillance, because any single one of them could wreak havoc ten times over and still have the energy to carry on more mischief till half an institute is burned down to the ground.”

Raphael interrupts him with disbelief and a hint of anger in the words. “So you're telling me that it’s not true that your lot insists on keeping the kids away to avoid them being influenced? Right now, rumor has it that you are holding a large number of children that no one has seen walking outside the Institute... How are we supposed to take that?”

Alec frowns at the outburst. “We do keep them far away from downworlders. Because they could cause so many diplomatic incidents that could mean either permanent dismissal or deruning for the shadowhunter in charge, depending on the offence and on who is being reported... So yes, I do keep the kids locked in, because I’d rather not have them being inspired by any external influence to cause more mayhem than they already do... I do not have the manpower to handle them properly. Not so many of them all at once.”

The unimpressed glare he receives from the vampire is enough to make Alec understand that his point is not being explained, he take a deep breath and smirks tauntingly. “Let's play the ‘what if’ game, shall we? If one of the kids walks in front of you right now and asks you what you are doing with the mug in your hand, what would you answer?”

Raphael keeps looking at him like he just lost his mind, but stays in the spirit of the game and answers the question. “I’d say I’m drinking.” Alec hums along and keeps pressing, “and when they ask what you’re drinking?”

The vampire still shows no understanding and continues answering normally, “Blood. I’m a vampire. This is my food” Alec nods, still smirking. He takes a sip from his cup, loving that he has found more heat sustaining cups. It is fantastic to have his coffee stay at the perfect temperature. 

“Now, if you say that to one of our children the next thought in their head is going to be that you look normal... And since for them blood would be disgusting, it would make an interesting experiment to try feeding it to someone in the institute. And then point out that the victim is actually at fault for the experiment, either due to lack of awareness for not seeing it coming. Or by turning the situation around on the victim by claiming that the subject of the experiment is in the wrong as they can't even keep their emotions in check when facing a little harmless prank... 

Now imagine: what if at the receiving end of this kind of prank, instead of it being aimed toward one of the current residents of the institute, it’s a downworlder visiting the institute. Let's say, for example, a couple of drops of holy water are added into the icemaker’s tank before offering an iced drink to a vampire. Tell me, as Clan Leader, how would you react to such a prank?”

Raphael’s growl is visceral, but realization is slowly dawning on the vampire’s face. “I would take it as a declaration of war. If my own people got hurt while visiting the institute as guests, it would be a clear hostile intention and a breach of the Accords. And while the children might be spared and considered innocent, the one responsible for them would take the fall for it” 

Alec inclines his head but waits a moment to let the vampire process the full ramifications of the explored scenario, waiting patiently for the light of realization to appear in Raphael’s eyes. “ _This_ is the passive aggressive reaction you were talking about earlier? They are trying to undermine you and all that you've been doing this far... Setting you up to be in positions where you’ll be damned by the Clave if you do something or damned by the downworlders if you don’t.”

He just shrugs and continues, like it’s not such a big revelation that he’s constantly walking on a razor’s edge.

“Yep. Why do you think the New York Institute is the one hosting so many children at the present? An especially high amount of children young enough to still crave their parents approval. Ready to follow any suggestion and insinuation if it means just one look of pride in their direction… I’d rather not risk all I’ve been working for because of a child’s misguided attempt to further their parent’s agenda, acting out in the hollow hope of obtaining what they never had in the first place...

So yes. This is the Clave’s unsubtle attempt to prove I am unable to carry on the duties required by my position. The cabinet's paperwork is, in itself thrice as much as the normal amount the institute requires just to function. And even that is usually divided among married couples which clearly I am not… To be honest I don't think anyone with fewer people to punish or to delegate to could do it with the way things are now. Especially if everything is being done perfectly by the book, as it is considered forbidden to add technology to the internal protocols on how to take care of paperwork. The perks of living in this century I guess. Anyway, I am managing well enough on my own this far, so I don't get why that would be a big deal.”   
  


Alec takes a moment to look around the room and takes a deep breath. He considers whether or not to ask something that stayed stuck in a corner of his mind.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand Raphael… I might be wrong, but before, you almost made it sound like I would be involved in all this Power Couple thingy even if I was married to another shadowhunter. How is that even possible? I mean isn’t it just a downworlder denomination, or something, with attached expectations?”

Raphael is still in the same position, a new respect for Alec showing in the straightened spine, as the vampire’s mind seems to form a plan of action. "Dios, you are stunner, Lightwood. This is actually something important, and it appears you were not the only one at fault in not remembering each race has their own specific rules…” 

Raphael blows a soft appreciative whistle, leaning back on the couch, before continuing, more composed.

“First thing first, there’s something that needs to be clarified for you. Apparently all of the shadow world's paperwork has been hogged by shadowhunters. We do not need more than one basic archive to keep track of things that have happened and even that is more to keep track of possessions and resources. But that doesn’t involve anywhere near the amount of paperwork you are talking about, at least not within the vampires’ dealings.”

Alec is pretty surprised to hear that not only the vampires have close to none paperwork in their governance, but that it’s pretty likely that the same applies for other downworld's factions. It is a new discovery, and he knows the amount of time he regularly finds himself wasting on paperwork. Especially before he discovered the joys of templates and mundane auto filling programs. With it not being something *physical* the Clave cannot really call it forbidden mundane technology… 

Not that he’s willing to disclose how he manages to stay perfectly on track with his share of administrative work yet. Especially considering that as the Head of Institute he has about five times more forms than the average shadowhunter under his command, and yet every single one of them struggle to finish their own paperwork…

Despite Alec’s mind wandering, he doesn’t miss when Raphael continues the explanation.

“As far as the warlocks go, at this point I believe asking Magnus would be a lot more helpful... Actually no. Rather than Magnus, ask Ragnor Fell. He used to be the high warlock of London back in the day... And he was actually also a teacher at the shadow hunter academy when that was still a thing.. He used to live in Idris and be surrounded by your kind.”

Raphael looks pensive and then continues easily, “Ragnor might actually know enough of your society to help you draw parallels and decide what you need to know and work on from the get go. He will be able to give you better help than I can at this time. Though please do not tell Magnus I redirected you straight to Ragnor.” 

Alec’s attention is grabbed by the nervous tapping of Raphael’s fingers, drumming against the furniture. “In fact, don't tell that to Ragnor either... Invent something, like you found info about him in your Clave’s database or something of the sort. Those two have the strangest friendship I've ever seen. I don’t want to be in the middle of their frenemy banter any more than I already am.” 

Raphael looks almost pained at the thought, and yet the relaxed shoulders, and the small half smile sitting on the vampire’s face tells him a whole different story than what the words imply. “Consider this my advanced wedding gift to you. Avoid putting yourself in between the two of them as much as you can if you value your sanity. You do not want to discover how petty Magnus can get… I don’t think you have in you the decades he could keep up a grudge.”

Alec looks perplexed and unsure on how to take the ‘ _gift_ ’, so he just smiles back, nodding slightly. “Ok, I'll take your word for it. I really don't know exactly what you are talking about, but I guess you do have enough experience with both of them to know what you’re talking about.”

Raphael nods sagely. “I knew you were a smart one Lightwood. Either way, we just solved the warlock side of things, here's the rest of what you’re missing. Most of the downworld political scene, if you hadn't already noticed, is made up of stuffy immortals.” Alec nods along, starting to see how this might affect the people in downworld offices, letting the rest of the other man’s explanation sink in.

“You have to understand they all live on a different timeline. Their perception of time is totally screwed, especially compared to a mortal life… Mind you I don't blame them. As far as I've heard, after a few centuries, watching time just passing inexorably everything starts to blurs into indistinguishable shapes. Not that I’d know from personal experience yet. I still have living family members I grew up with.”

Raphaels looks rather apologetic his way, like the words are leaving an unpleasant aftertaste. “I suppose I get where they are coming from, even if I'm not there yet. But I can tell you, as one considered the "baby" for so long, that you have not yet been upgraded into the big boys club. And not because you don't deserve it, but because they seriously do not think you’re old enough to understand practises that have now been around for millennia.”

Alec can clearly hear both the sigh and the frustration in the vampire’s voice. ”They insist on following rules that were created before the majority of them were even born, and yet they still completely refuse to share even part of those rules with anyone who is less than at least two hundreds years old…” 

Alec looked confused at Raphael. "But aren't you like, in your eighties or around that?”

Raphael inclines the head acquiescently. “You're correct. I've been facing what you are facing right now since I became active in the New York’s scene, initially as Camille’s second. And I don’t know if it is of any consolation, but things didn’t change once I became the clan leader either. They really seem unable to overcome their disbelief in someone so young holding such a prestigious and politically influential position.”

He can see Raphael’s head shaking while looking down, as if this was something that the vampire felt almost personally responsible for.

“The one thing the warlocks, seelies and vampires tend to forget is that both werewolves and shadowhunters are not immortal. Werewolves to be honest don't really take part much in downworld politics. They are more on the fringe, happy to be on the side. They mainly focus on internal pack politics, following the Preator's jurisdiction, and only intervening to share their opinion on really huge matters…”

Alec’s the one looking down now, because he already knows what’s coming and the general outline of what Raphael will say. It’s not a secret that shadowhunters had let their angelic blood bloat and inflate their egos to shameful extremes long before he was even born. Yet knowing and hearing it is not the same thing, so Alec has to straighten his back and focus on listening as Raphael continues.

“And shadowhunters... Well, to be honest, as far as the stories that I know go, I think you are maybe the third leader who has even tried to mingle with the downworld political scene without trying to simply barge in and take over since your race was created by your angels millennia ago. So I suppose that, since we have no one who even was alive at the time, they all sort of forgot your race tends to have rather short lifespans…”

Alec nods and snorts as his thoughts start to take over, he doesn’t resist the petulant impulse of letting his voice take a slightly whining quality. "So basically what? I'm not considered old enough to hold my ground? Or simply not old enough to know how things work?”

Watching Raphael’s head shaking, Alec can see the pity in the vampire’s eyes. “No, you are simply not considered old enough or permanent enough to be shown the ropes. It is not worth the time to explain what is being expected of you, and yet you are still being held to standards no one bothered to ever inform you of.” 

It hurts hearing that once again he is considered not worth the trouble. That he’s nothing more than a child when any semblance of childhood he might have had, was forfeit and taken away for him almost two decades ago. 

When the only choice he ever had, was to vow that he was going to make sure his siblings, and any other youngster that falls under his care and responsibility, would ever lose the chances that were never available to him. He’s glad to see that Raphael has more to say, because he’s unsure he could get this voice to work after hearing that.

“And let me tell you, the fact you are a shadowhunter and a head of the one largest institute are both against you. In a way you are, or at least were being distrusted from the very beginning for being born with only angel blood…”

Alec knows prejudice exists. He had lived with it being thrown around toward downworlders or toward himself and his family name all his life. It has always rung wrong in his ears, and the only thing he has been able to do against this sort of hateful prejudice is to not participate in it himself. 

He is also teaching his charges a different way: to have an open mind. To try to judge people only on their own merits and actions, rather than things that can not be changed, like the blood running in one’s veins. 

The only thing blocking him from snorting derisively at Raphael’s words, is the fact that the other man is only explaining how things are. After having spent so much time with Raphael, both during the Cabinet’s meetings and now in this room, he knows that it’s not a belief the vampire shares, or it would have come up far sooner. 

He tries to keep his features neutral, not showing exactly how hypocritical he finds it that he’s being judged on something he can’t change, when the downworlders have fought being judged that way themselves all their lives.

However he suspects his expression must betray his thoughts on it, at least going by the smirk being sent his way by a still talking Raphael. 

“The fact that you do hold a position that could change things for the worse for everyone, was in the very beginning, what made you dangerous. So everyone was guarded, unwilling to let secrets slip. But now things are different. You proved that you could use the position you hold to bring a change that could make things better. You demonstrate day after day that you are more than just a pretty face warming Magnus’s bed.”

At that he couldn’t really stop himself from snorting loudly, finding it pretty ridiculous to hear the other man saying that when the both of them know Magnus. The grin he receives only cements his belief as Rafael continues as if he hadn’t interrupted. 

“I suspect you saw something shifting, something you didn't understand… People coming to you with problems, tense situations relaxing when you approached them. More cooperation in general every time you, personally, are involved. ”

The longer the two of them talk, the more Alec is starting to make some sense in the change of attitude he has noticed recently in the downworlders’ interactions with himself. Raphael is looking contemplative as they finish their talk. "You noticed the change, and how people reacted to you, and you just couldn't make sense of it. Isn't that so Lightwood?”

Alec looks down and nods after taking another sip of the sinfully sweet coffee.

“I don't really understand, it’s not like I changed anything in how I treated them. I wasn't the one being cold and unwilling to listen to even a complete sentence… What am I supposed to think when seelies come to me with hypothetical scenarios? Then Magnus talks to me a few days later, suggesting that those were actual real situations, and what I’ve said is actually considered and taken like an official decree? How am I supposed to react when Magnus just dismisses it all? Saying that he knows the seelies from the court, and that they should know better than even think of trying to have me overrule a decree Magnus has made?

Well excuse me for finding it reasonable that hearing something like that from him might have freaked me out a little. Though...I might have shut Magnus out before hearing more details...”

Alec hesitates and unconsciously bits his lower lip. Raphael, despite not calling him out, doesn’t seem to miss the nervous gestures he allows himself to display... 

It is with more empathy, kindness and tenderness than either man ever expected to hear when talking between the two of them that Raphael offers a softly spoken suggestion, "You don't have to tell me what is bothering you, or share whatever you’re thinking that is putting that worried expression on your face and making you bite your lips like a scared teenage boy rather than the badass shadowhunter we both know you are."

They both huff a laugh, and the tension slowly bleeds away. Alec needed that little remind he’s not in this alone. Raphael apparently has decided he’s worth the time to be taken up to speed, and that makes Alec feeling a little bit better, enough to keep sharing his mind. 

“It's just, I know Magnus is worried about the seelies being the first one to contact me, but the fact is that they were not... 

The seelies were simply the first ones who came to me in Magnus's territory, in Pandemonium, where he could see it happening.”

That makes Raphael look up, though abstains from asking for more details, curiosity shining in the eyes but lips firmly shut. This lets Alec know it is his decision, to share or not, as much or as little as he feels comfortable sharing. Alec nods at the quiet gesture, recognizing it for what it is. He looks down to gather his thoughts, in a way it feels weird to consider revealing something first to Raphael, when he has not yet revealed it to Magnus. 

But he does feel something like a pull to be honest. It’s not really a compulsion, and it is different from how the wards and spells have been doing their jobs through all this conversation in this safe haven.

"I was visited by an envoy from the Unseelie's court not too long ago. A group composed of an ambassador and three knights of different races. A goblin, a drow, an unseelie, and another being I could not identify, they were there to offer me a quest. Apparently on the behalf of the Unseelie's King, but it was not specified as such… In fact thinking back, they only stated they had a message from the Unseelie King…”

He growls in frustration and hides his face in his hand before looking back up at Raphael’s confused face as he starts to explain himself.

“They never shared the king’s message, at this point I’m not even sure it wasn’t just a ruse to be received within the institute without an appointment… It certainly felt like something more personal. I-, I might have some suspicion of the ambassador’s race, if not at least their job, as the leader of the party.. But if it is as my mind suggests, I'm ready to confess it sounds way too weird... even by shadow worlds standards”

Raphael takes his rambling as the cue to look completely unamused, raising an eyebrow and replying flatly to him, "Dios Lightwood, could you find a way to be any more cryptic and less informative than that? It almost felt like talking with your other half for a moment there… And let me tell you, you are not cute either when you do that. No matter what your partner wants others to believe. Neither of you are any cuter than usual, which is not cute at all, when you get all cryptic.”

Alec laughs freely at the exasperation in Raphael's tone and with a mischievous grin, he quips his sassy reply. "I'm not being cryptic, I'm being coy"

Raphael groans and hides his face in between his hands, "Dios mio... What did I do to deserve the two of you? As I always tell Papa, you are neither coy, cryptic or cute, so do me a favour and drop it...”

Alec giggles a little, finding the emotions playing on Raphael’s face pretty amusing...

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist it! And come on, you served it to me on a silver plate, what was I supposed to do? Just stay serious when you looked that way?"

Raphael’s head shakes as the man waves a hand "Yeah, yeah whatever _shadowhunter_. You are being as much of a pain in my ass as your other half... and to think I had considered and called *you* the better half for a few moments, before you fell from my graces... what a disappointment..."

Both of them shared a snort at the ridiculousness of the situation before Alec took the courage to ask something that was nagging at him in the back of his mind...

"Any chance that you could tell me, of course if you know it... If- by any chance, any of the two previous shadowhunters who did try to be part of the downworld’s political scene, had wings?"

Raphael looks taken aback... Most likely the vampire never expected this kind of question. Alec himself wouldn’t expect it either.

"I- I'm not completely sure. I do recall some stories passed on, that there have been some *angels* approving of how the downworlders regulated themselves. And those beings, yes they had wings, but it seemed more like the usual rubbish said to try keep shadowhunters out of anyone’s business... I mean think about it, if the current downworld committee had the blessing of an angel, then the angel blooded pains in everyone’s ass known as shadowhunter should have kept their paws off angel blessed affairs. Right...?”

  
  


Alec curls closer on the seat and looks contemplatively into the almost empty cup in his hands... 

"Can you tell me if, in the stories, those angels were actually shadowhunters as well? Or if, by any chance, they truly had no trace of visible runes? Otherwise, I would find it useful to know, if there were more than the other two shadowhunters you mentioned before me, attempting to be involved and help out in the shadow world governance...?”

Raphael looks perplexed, clearly not getting where Alec is going with his questions, however the vampire can’t stop voicing the thought and tentatively questioning Alec. "You know right those are just legends?"

Alec nods, but then shrugs, "Yeah, but think of this, if all legends are true... Wouldn't that give some credence to the chance there is more to those stories?"

Raphael nods and ponders for a minute on the answer before continuing. "Yeah, I actually believe the angels came before any of the shadowhunter attempts. Except.. If the pattern had held as the stories go, this time it should have been an angel appearing again...? And you know… not you… Plus it’s not like there have been tales of angels descending to earth for centuries now. The closest we got to something similar happening, was when the circle almost managed to summon your angel… and let me tell you that was a scary nightmare.”

They both shuddered at the mention of the recently attempted apocalypse, driven by the hand of a megalomanic bigot with delusions of grandour and genocide tendencies that had only been narrowly avoided... Alec refuses to look Raphael in the eyes when he lets himself confide, "I- I might know more on that, on the angels coming and blessing the direction the downworld takes.”

Raphael looks confused, but doesn’t push for more, instead shrugging like it’s not a problem to just accept what’s being offered. “Anyway to get back to where we were, before the talk of angels came in the middle, there’re things you need to know. For a start, you are a recognized prominent leader in your own right, and you are also the mutually claimed consort of another recognized prominent leader. All of this makes you, Alec Lightwood, one of the few people that any downworlder could reach out to for assistance; to have their problems and issues heard, overseen and mediated…”

He is sure that Raphael can see exactly how much that news is new to him. Alec just hopes he has not screwed things up irreparably as he keeps listening quietly, letting Raphael’s words slowly sink in. 

“The fact that you are no longer spending much time in Pandemonium, and that when you are there, you are barely visible, much less approachable to downworlders in a downworlder setting... That is what’s starting to create the uneasiness rumors and that you and Magnus are having a fight. Or that anyway there're dissonance or problems between the two of you.” 

And there it is again, the feeling that something is not quite clear, like his brain has not yet caught up with some vital detail. 

Not that he and Magnus really are having problems, but if that were the case, why would it be a problem for other downworlders? He just decides to keep listening to Raphael, mentally cataloguing all the new information he’s receiving.

“Add into the picture that you are actually the first shadowhunter who has shown and proved, time after time, that you care about downworlders’ rights, even way before you got together with one. You’re a shadowhunter who sees us as people and not as lesser beings or animals. And the fact that you, as Head of the Institute, thus far, have been fair in everything you’ve handled. 

“With all this in mind, your withdrawal from the court has been taken badly. It is a hard blow. You do need to be a little more present, I don't know exactly what happened. You were starting to take on your role and doing the duties that are expected of you as consort and then you suddenly stopped...”

Alec is completely frozen as it finally hits him, this is not the first time Raphael mentioned the word consort.. But that makes no sense, right? 

He and Magnus are still courting. Sure, marriage is where they are heading, but it will still take some work before he can offer Magnus a proper marriage in gold and blue. And yet that the term ‘consort’ has appeared so casually… What if things are not as he thinks they are? Isn’t that exactly the reason why they are having this conversation after all? He simply has to ask...

"Raphael what do you mean with consort? Magnus and I are not married... Yet you continue talking about being mutually acknowledged consorts..."

At this point the vampire freezes as well, looking pretty much as shocked as Alec feels... "You mean he hasn't told you?”

Alec's frown is a clear indicator of how upset he is at the present. If he’s honest with himself, he does not even know whether he’s more worried, upset or pissed off.

"I really don't get what you're talking about, we are not married. I would know, as I would have needed to be present... Believe me, the kind of ceremony needed for it to be recognized is so extensive that I would know if we went through it and got married. I’m not saying that I don't want to, but the point is it didn't happen...

So please explain to me what you're talking about.”

Rapahel coughs, a little embarrassed and looks searchingly into Alec's face in disbelief, marvel and surprise appearing on the vampire's expression at the realization... "You really don't know… Of course you don't! And that idiota has not actually taken the time to explain to you... Oh why am I the one who has to fix my Papa's mess???” 

Alec can empathize with that and completely feels like sharing the frustrated sigh leaving the other man’s mouth. “Do you remember the first night when Magnus convinced you to be there during the whole time he held court from opening to dawn?”

Alec nods still pretty confused but he lets Raphael guide him, step by step, to the point he needs to reach.

“Do you remember on that night, that Magnus kept coming to you, drinking and dancing with just you, in between audiences?”

Alec nods, once more thinking back, clearly still not getting the point Raphael is trying to make, since Magnus has always made time for him when he is at the club. The weight of what feels like a week long conversation is starting to get him, so he doesn’t refrain from sharing the sassy quip his mind conjures. "Yes, I also remember ending the night completely exhausted, and lying down on the couch as Magnus finished his last meeting. I remember being too tired and in too much pain to do anything else but lay there and wait. I also remember Magnus keeping me there until he was finished and then taking me back home.. So what? That doesn’t exactly sound like a wedding to me... Seriously. I don't understand where you are going with all this.”

Raphael raises one hand silently asking Alec to keep indulging this line of questioning. Alec reins in his annoyance quietly listening as Raphael continues. "Do you remember before then, when you kissed Magnus in front of all the important members of the Clave… In your own Institute, while all the Downworld’s leaders were present?”

Alec sighs frustrated, this time not stopping himself from rolling his eyes exasperated. His irritation probably crystal clear in his voice.

"Why yes, I was present on both occasions. I do recall kissing my boyfriend, I however do not recall actually getting married to him... You know. The exchange of vows, have a whole society recognise our union... Being granted the right to have our workload split between the two of us... Heck, even gaining the right for both of our voices to have equal standing. I think I would remember all that kind of stuff.”

Raphael sighs, the frustration carrying in the next words uttered, and yet Alec can read the tension in the man’s shoulders, and hear the softness of the gentle tone. 

“Alec, you both have already recognised your relationship and union. In front of both shadowhunters and delegates of every faction of the Downworld, in both your home turf and his... As far as the downworlders are concerned you two _are_ married.”

Alec can feel his face becoming ashen, his whole body sag. His mind is racing quickly through everything that happened. He’s rearranging his understanding of words said and situations he’s lived through the new light this information brings with it. Thoughts and memories are swirling in his head as he tries to keep his focus on what Raphael is saying.

“Yeah, you have not yet held a proper, formal celebration and ceremony where official congratulations could be given. But that, weirdly enough, is being chalked up to your obscure shadowhunter traditions so no offence has been taken. It is currently expected that you’re both semi officially ruling. At least until the time that you hold a proper naming ceremony. There you declare your new chosen names and they are officially announced. And I mean Seelies’ court official...”

Alec looks at his hands, defeated. His body sags down under the weight of the revelation. Is all his work to get them a shadowhunter recognised ceremony for naught? 

Would Magnus even want that with him now? Is he supposed to be content with how things are? Will Magnus be willing to wait for the sake of a political statement that might never be granted? Was his mother right in calling him naïve when he declared to both his parents his intention of entering a courtship with Magnus? 

He hates the that doubts are now assaulting his mind. He’s so pathetically weak. He can’t handle knowing that he already has what he wanted because he didn’t get it the way he thought it would happen. Despite not liking the defeated and bitter notes colouring his voice, he searches for the right words to offer as explanation, "In a way it is correct. I am working to have the chance to celebrate a ceremony in blue and gold... If I can manage to have the Clave recognise our union like any other shadowhunter union that would be fantastic.”

Raphael looks perplexed, clearly not understanding the ramification of such union… Or maybe the other man is in his same position, not knowing even the basics that would explain better. Which is why he finds some comfort in hearing the questions being asked. "Why is it so important to you to get married in gold? What does a shadowhunter recognised ceremony have that you wouldn't get with a normal wedding?”

Alec looks down, twisting his hands after setting the now empty mug down on the floor, getting ready to explain details about shadowhunters’s society that even children know… _Nephilim_ children. "If we weren't who we are it would not really matter… But if the Clave recognises our union, with me still as the Head of the Institute... Well, they would have to treat us as any other married couple leading an Institute. And I’m not talking just about the fact that we’d be a same sex couple."

Alec leaves the implications of what it would mean hanging in the air, not putting all of them in specific words clearly spelled out. In a way he’s testing the waters both to get a glimpse of the man who is his partner’s son, and partially to try to gauge what he should expect once he’ll confront Magnus on the matter. 

In the end he is not disappointed when Raphael’s brain catches up and connects all the dots. He does secretly find it amusing though, the initial gaping face the vampire makes before blurting out unfiltered thoughts. 

"You are planning to have the Clave recognise the marriage and create the precedent of a downworlder - shadowhunter couple leading an Institute... Basically forcibly opening nephilim society and forcing integration... that would revolutionise and completely change the world."

"Yeah, it would…” Alec nods once more, his voice almost dreamy before turning dark and a little self deprecating, doubts shadowing his words. “However, if for the downworld we are already married, my not being there means I'm not fulfilling the duty they are expecting from me... Why didn't Magnus tell me this? Have I done something so wrong that he didn't want me to understand this? Did he think I would be unfit and just make a mess of things? What if he didn’t really intend or want for us to go that far?" 

His eyes are filled with hurt and his voice is trembling with the insecurities, he doesn’t know what exactly Raphael sees to take pity on him.

"I don’t believe you should worry or read so much into the situation. To be perfectly frank with you, I don't think Magnus has fully registered the fact you’re considered married yet. And with you retreating so suddenly my guess is that no one else is willing to raise the issue... If you two were indeed on the brink of breaking up, mentioning that you're seen as married might not be the best way to help you along. Nor would it guarantee that the two of you would stay together. No one else would take the chance of being the one to deliver that information. Especially if it could break you two apart... 

It is too high of a risk to take. No one wants to take the chance of you undoing all the good you’ve done. It would be a catastrophe if you stopped pushing the agenda of Downworld equality. So at least on that front, you are granted some leniency.”

Alec feels a little reassured, that he has done something considered good enough, of his own accord, to deserve at least some consideration.

“I guess I see what you mean. Thank you for explaining things to me... You’ve left me with lots to digest and think about. If I may, I do have one last question before I go… Do you really think it would help matters if groups of downworlders were able to get in contact with the kids? I don't want to risk more than necessary. But, at the same time, I don't want to actually close the doors or offend groups simply because I am trying to save my position, my own skin and whatever is left of my sanity, while still trying to protect downworlders from the madness that nephilim kids can be...”

Raphael thinks for a moment, clearly pondering what options would be most feasible before sharing the best ideas. "I see where you are coming from. How about creating a special social event for the children, and mark it as a reward...? You could host it either at Pandemonium or I could offer up one of our ballrooms at the hotel for the event, if you'd rather not use the institute.”

Alec taps his lips with his finger, his mind quickly running through his options and the impact on his budget to sponsor such event. “Hmmm... a ball... Actually you think downworlders would be willing to come down to the institute? I could request a set of wards to make sure the kids couldn't create too much mayhem... Or bribe them. It would help dispel the rumours that they are being kept away from the downworlder for nefarious motives... And maybe if I can manage to have the downworlder shocked enough by the kids, I could have the downworlder guests spreading the word around. The security measures are not to keep away impure downworlders from influencing poor innocent nephilim but rather to save whatever small amount of sanity is left in New York City’s Shadow world, before those kids are actually considered ready to be unleashed in the field…”

Alec is trying really hard to see how he can spin it so that it could work, finding the task quite difficult. Then he raises his eyes, and sees the look Raphael is sending his way, with a grin that promises an unimaginable amount of trouble… "Or you could offer to solve any of the low impact disciplinary issues with downworlders by assigning babysitting duty for the nephilim children... Of course supervised by your own men.”  
  
The more he listens to Raphael’s ingenious suggestion, the more he likes it. For the first time in forever, such sight makes a playfully mischievous grin of his own form on his lips.

“That would solve at least some of your staffing problems. While having the downworlders introduced to the little horrors you just described the kids to be… I do have one question of my own Lightwood. You said during the hypothetical ‘what if’ scenario, exactly how you expect a young nephilim to react... Was that personal experience?”

Alec nods in confirmation with a half amused smile gracing his face as he relaxes and answers the question. 

“Yeah… Both Jace and Izzy were not the most welcome or popular kids while growing up. At least not within the institute’s walls. And none of us were ever permitted to do the tour of other Institutes. That usually would happen to allow the kids exposure to different traditions, preparing them to follow the ever changing set of rules one should expect when being sent wherever orders take them. And to teach that, where you are and who you are going to actually be in contact with, should be what determines your behaviour. It was an episode when Izzy and Jace worked together. They wanted to get revenge on a stuck up kid from Idris, who was spouting all the usual amount of nonsense on how any other institute was better than the one in New York. Mocking us insisting that the lack of travelling would end up with all of us being the weakest shadowhunters ever... 

Looking back on it now, at least by shadowhunters standards, I suppose I can see how we are considered weak, me especially… Still it was quite the experience, having to manage that at the tender age of twelve, carefully balancing the need to protect my siblings and the necessity of taking care of the clear offence meant by this other kid.”

Rapahel looks pretty intrigued by the whole story. Alec can see an internal debate on the vampire’s face before one more question is asked. "I feel this is rude, but you seemed to actually have a pretty good handle on managing the paperwork... How are you dealing with the administrative landslide your higher ups are trying to drown you in?”

Alec smiles and shrugs without going into much detail, “I have managed to find my way... And if there’s a thing us Lightwoods can do pretty well by now, it’s smashing through all rules and expectations… It’s just that each one of us have our own personal style.”

Alec smirks and shrugs again, unwilling to disclose more on the subject before finally wrapping up this unconventional but highly enlightening meeting. “If that is all, I think we can end things here and call it a day. What do you think, Raphael?”

They both stand up and shake hands, satisfied grins present on their faces, making the two of them appear more young and carefree than they usually do. “I think we got way more than our dose of honesty and confidence for one night, Lightwood. Thank you for coming with me”

Alec shakes his head, his smile softening into a grateful one as he offers his own thanks, "thank you for the crash course. Now I know what I need to know. I do appreciate all you've done for me, I won't forget it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We reached the point where the tags and trigger warnings come in play.
> 
> Please remember we are slipping inside Magnus' mind for the whole duration of the chapter.  
> If you find something confusing or missing it could have been something Magnus missed or something that will be explained later on.
> 
> Please please be kind to yourself this is where the angst starts for real, and possible triggers start to sneak in, read them and if it's not something you're comfortable with please think of yourself first if you reached this far but feel like you cannot go over to the point where the possible triggers mentioned below I've added a horizontal line (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) to indicate the last point of where it is safe to go with nothing stronger than what you've read this far, after it the action will have its ups and downs until the end of the chapter.
> 
> If those causes you trouble but you still want to know what happens next join the [Malec Discord Server](https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8) and search for my name then hit on my dm and I'll give you the summary of what happens with an edited version of just the softer and safer parts
> 
> **TW: graphic description of wings injuries,  
>  explicit description of Panic Attack,  
> explicit description of Selective Mutism under stress,  
> internalized guilt, self recrimination, self deprecation, tiny bit of anxiety  
> **

Magnus is unsure what to feel. He did get what he was hoping for... The rumours about problems between him and Alexander die down when his angel starts to appear once more at Pandemonium's court nights. He knows he should be ecstatic, but he doesn't really know much about what happened, except from a text from Raphael telling him a very unhelpful "You're welcome Papa." 

And yet Magnus can't stop the peace from spreading at the back of his mind and through his own magic. Nor is he willing to renounce the wonderful thrills he gets from having Alexander under his wards so often.

Despite searching and trying to pinpoint what is wrong with his angel and coming up empty handed. the fact that everyone else seems appeased pushes the inquisitive queries to the back of his mind.

Alexander has just recently suggested a new form of punishment among all downworlders' factions that includes babysitting the bunch of nephilim recruits currently fostered and trained at the institute. To be honest, Magnus, who does adore children, could not really understand how that would be much of a punishment. Neither for the downworlders in question nor the misbehaving kids... And yet he can’t stop wondering. Especially after the first few groups return to their homes, promising to never repeat whatever minor crime they committed to end up on babysitting duty... 

It sort of makes him speculate about how dramatic they all really are... Or if the young nephilims really are as much trouble as everyone but Alec seems to believe.

One day in their loft he takes the chance to ask. "Alexander, I have to say I find myself surprised at how well received your suggestion is, having offenders of minor crimes serve social hours as babysitters for your nephilim brood. As I’ve heard from others, it is considered by now quite a fair yet terrifying prospect. Fair enough to keep the people out of the Clave's way, and yet sufficiently terrifying that once is enough to either avoid the act or make damn well sure they will not get caught... How is that even possible?"

Alec’s only answer at his words is to start laughing freely, sending a beautiful smirk at Magnus’s way. "Pretty easy Magnus, I do know how much trouble they are. And I knew it wouldn't take much for the kids to weird out the entirety of the local Shadow World if downworlders were exposed to them... You know there is a reason why babysitting duties are ranked as bad as ichor duty and just barely worse than paperwork..."

Magnus pouts a little. He does enjoy the playful teasing that Alexander is confident enough to show him. This time around though, he really wants to know the reason why, and not just get played like the rest of them... "Darling, you know I love you no matter what, but seriously I thought we established that I'm the one who can pull off being coy..."

Alec's grin just becomes, if possible, more teasing, "I'm not being coy Magnus, I am just as cryptic as any good leader should be..."

That provokes a snort out of Magnus and extracts an equally amused sound from Alec's own throat as well.

"Come on darling why won't you explain to me? I'm not really understanding what everyone finds so draining... they just sound like normal children to me… And it's not like I've ever heard _you_ saying anything against them either... Sayang, I’d just like to understand.” Alexander's smile becomes tender while caressing Magnus's cheek. Magnus can’t find in himself the will to complain about his hair being tousled up as he's being pulled into a teasing kiss. "I know Magnus, but isn't it supposed to be a punishment for a reason?"

Magnus nods, "yes but you have to agree with me, you would never let your shadowhunters get into a punishment you don't know. I might have just caught a group of very young warlocks who need some straightening out, but I confess I am unsure. They are still hearing contradicting stories on shadowhunters, I don't want my people to be the reason for more attrition and problems coming your way. Don't you think we could use one of our dates to show me, let me assess if the situation would become too volatile adding warlocks in it? You know adding magic to an unstable situation is not always the best recipe for things to go smoothly."

Alexander clearly looks exasperated and a little disappointed but nods anyway, "if this is what you require Magnus, Okay. Do you want to go right now?"

Magnus is surprised how quickly his request is granted. He doesn't know exactly how to take the situation. Alexander doesn’t seem too pleased. Maybe that’s because he just suggested spending some of their relatively little free time back at the Institute supervising kids, instead of taking the time for just the two of them. 

Instead of letting his worries devour him, Magnus tries to do something new, something that it’s harder than it should be but that might be more helpful in the long run… He accepts the easy way out that Alexander is offering him and asks tentatively. 

"I’d like that, if you think it is okay to go now. I just don't understand why such a rush? I mean, I'm perfectly fine scheduling an appointment when it is reasonable and feasible. You don't have to bend over backwards just to accommodate me, Sayang. I just want to understand... You have never said anything about those kids, why would it be a punishment?"

Alec shrugs like it's not such a big deal. With that simple gesture Magnus has the confirmation that the whole affair actually is more important than Alexander is letting on. Taking a second to think things through, he starts to realise that too many things don't add up. So Magnus pays even more attention to all Alec is saying, while at the same time he tries to extrapolate what is not being said.

"I don't mind them that much, they are all good kids at the end of the day. And I had to raise my siblings after all, so it's just a matter of a slightly larger number than usual. This time around I can also hand them over to someone else if I really need the peace and quiet…”

Alec stops talking for a moment, then smirks while playing with and tugging gently one of the necklaces Magnus’s wearing. His breath is stolen when suddenly Alec’s tone drops and becomes both husky and teasing in equal measure. “As for bending backwards for you Mags... I thought we had already established that you can bend me wherever and however you want. Anything you wish to ask of me will be my pleasure to deliver..."

The words are clearly meant as a tease, a playful one at that. Magnus’s own insecurities however, keep whispering that probably Alec doesn’t realize how the same sentiment applies to Magnus himself as well. It is frightening to think that he might not have been able to show to his own angel just how far he’s willing to go if needed… Nor how further more he’d go if asked...

"Alexander... you do know that that’s not a one way street, I would do just the same for you. You know that right?" 

He is concerned. The promptly whispered “of course” from Alexander and the quick kiss on his lips both feel too fast for the words and the gesture to be the reinforcement and certain affirmations that they are supposed to be... However, as Alec takes a couple of steps back and offers a small bow, nodding toward the door, Magnus resigns himself and adds this new knowledge to the always growing list of things that he should look into better. He opens a portal to the Institute and offers Alec his hand to get there together. He is surprised to see Underhill approaching them once they arrive inside.

"Sir, Magnus, I thought you were out for the evening, patrols are out and the last shifts of recruits minding is about to start, I did pulled in Raj, Monteverdi and Langlow"

Magnus can admire Alec in his own element, noticing the small appreciative smile sent toward Andrew. If he wasn’t sure of who he is for Alec, he might have, in another life, been jealous of such regard, no matter how small it might seem. 

"That's perfectly good Andrew, thank you for the report. Yes, I was actually already out for the night. However, Magnus wanted to know a little more about the baby minding program. See for himself if it could work as punishment for warlocks’ minor infractions. I thought it would be the perfect occasion to drop in, give Raj some help with overlooking our recruits... I'm sure the kids will love to know they managed to catch both the Head of the Institute and the High Warlock’s attention without it being connected to any unsavory incidents." 

The chuckle shared amongst the two shadowhunters makes Magnus feel like he is completely missing some vital details here. He finds out that it's ok, he can deal with missing details as long as he can feel Alexander's love. He waits for the two men in front of him to collect themselves then asks "Shall we go into the fray Darling?"

The only reply he gets is a nod and an authoritative "follow me, we are heading toward the conservatory. Tonight, it is herbology before bed..."

Magnus is surprised, he does know that every Institute has a conservatory, he knows the wards there are both strong and delicate. A fine mesh and lace work that could augment the intake of light into the room, and yet add structural and protective strength to not be an easily breached location, from either the outside or the inside. Not that the physical location of the conservatory within the institute would make a good infiltration point during a large scale attack. But it could have been a sloppy place where things could get through unseen... If all the rumours he has heard about nephilim children are even only partially true, the wards’ strength from inside is needed to keep the unruly ones from sneaking out.

Once they reach the conservatory, they find Raj lecturing bored children on a plant Magnus recognises. He is surprised to see it in New York, the Cleistanthus collinus. The lecture gets promptly interrupted once they take a step inside and their presence is noted. Then the group of over excited children come rushing in their direction, the lesson and their current instructor completely forgotten. Alec assumes his most unforgiving and stern Head of the Institute expression and frowns at the smiling faces surrounding the two of them.

"What did we tell you about lessons and how to behave when people walk into one of them?"

Magnus is curious as well, he tries to keep the smile from widening when seeing what looks like a paternal expression on his Alexander face. The pouting going on several of the kids faces is downright adorable, and his breath hitches a little hearing some of the murmurs.

"That we should not get distracted and keep going through the lesson."

Another voice from the side quips, "however it is always good procedure to salute, pay respect and attention to the Head of our Institute, which I might point out just walked in... There might have been something rather important especially if he is followed by the local High Warlock. Clearly something is afoot here and we are probably going to find it out soon, interrupting the lesson anyway... We were of course just making sure everything would proceed as fast and as smooth as possible so that the interruption to our studies might be as short as feasible."

He is impressed by such a well thought out comment, if not a little charmed by the extended explanation. Turning toward Alexander, he gets surprised hearing the snort and the fond comeback such a reasonable answer produces in his lover.

"You and your smart ass mouth are going to get in trouble if you're ever in another institute Max... You should know better than to be so sassy, especially to the Head of your Institute..."

The mocking at the title is clear for all to hear, that much Magnus could gather from the general sniggering going around. The kid, Max, shrugs and smiles in a way that is terribly familiar to Magnus. It resembles a mix of Jace and Isabelle, the cockyness and confident air while looking at Alexander with the absolute certainty nothing bad is ever going to happen. If Magnus pays enough attention he can see the resemblance in the features of both the kid and Alec. His contemplation of the two meets its end when the unamused snort leaves Alec’s lips, efficiently distracting Magnus...

"Sure Max, sure... less sass and more studying Squirt, and don't think that just because you're my baby brother you're out of the ichor duty help you just gained with the attitude... I guess two weeks might give you enough time to think about this?" Max’s groan at the announced punishment is met with sniggering and merry humour passing through all the children.

It takes less than ten seconds for the whole brood of young nephilim to get into a closer formation around Magnus and Alec before a million and one questions are fired at him from all angles.

All the voices mix up together to the point that he is completely unsure of who asked what... He can’t even keep track of Alexander enough to get cues on the proper way to reply to some of the more personal questions... 

He personally has no strong opinion either way, afterall, he has answered way more revealing questions during his rather long life. The questions the kids ask are weirdly both so innocent, and in a way too intimate to know exactly how much Alec would want the information to be shared... 

Magnus finds the situation weird and a little unsettling. For the first time ever, no matter how many relationships he’s had, it's no longer just his own life and his own decision to make, on how much to share and with whom. Alexander has a say in what should or should not be shared, that’s what partners do. Mangus can’t pinpoint the moment when it became that way but now it’s * _their*_ life... For the first time, Magnus has to keep in mind that Alexander is a private man, who doesn’t appreciate being the centre of gossip and speculations. 

The kids surrounding them, those are the boys and girls who will grow up to be the next generations of shadowhunters. He is facing and shaping the future of the downworlder-shadowhunter relationship here… And isn’t that terrifying in and of itself? The possibilities unravelling in Magnus' mind are both staggering and breathtaking.

Suddenly a slither of fear finds its way down his spine... The repercussions of something bad happening in these sessions could result potentially in bad impressions leaving behind the seed of mistrust and fear in the impressionable minds of these children.

And what about their parents? What would they think of this all? Would it be something that is going to come back to bite and haunt Alec in the future?

He doesn't know and the prospect is sort of terrifying. Before he can drown in hypothetical conjectures and projections of possible futures, Magnus discovers that the questions never stop and that there is no time to get lost in one's mind... The kids still demand answers one after another, not always giving the time to actually let all the words out. 

Magnus starts to realise that he is facing these kids at what is the very end of their day, supposedly the most quiet of times, and probably the one reason why Alec pressed to come now... He is already feeling overwhelmed, and yet despite it all, the children are still so energetic. 

One would have suspected them to have been dosed with huge quantities of sugar throughout the whole day in multiple doses for still being so charged up.

While Magnus himself feels like he’s in the deep end, Alexander instead seems perfectly able to manage and handle all of them at once. Alec groups out questions, gives out information, handing out praises for well thought, relevant queries and scolding for ones that are clearly inappropriate. Questions that should have never been asked in present company. Magnus feels dazzled just by trying to keep up with all the information being handed out here. And in perfect contrast to himself, Alec is also managing to slide in little bits a lecture on political awareness in between answering questions, telling exactly how some questions would sound rude no matter who is at the receiving end of the inquiry. 

Magnus marvels at Alexander squatting down to be at eye level with the kids before asking in a conspiratorial whisper “here’s a neat trick to keep in mind, when facing someone who holds an important position. If you know you wouldn’t be ashamed to repeat that question you want to ask, in front of your parents, the rest of your blood relatives, the Consul or the Inquisitor, then and only then, the chances of it being appropriate are high enough that it might be safe to ask your question...” Magnus smiles at such a simplified and yet accurate way of explaining it. The horrified shrieks of the kids seem a clear enough indication that the lesson has been received, which is why Magnus is both amazed and surprised that amongst them a timid question is asked.

“But you told us we can come to you with any question we might have…” The young girl appears upset to Magnus, before either his instincts can kick in or Alexander can say anything in response the girl continues, “and you didn’t say you’re here in official capacity, doesn’t that mean Mr Bane is here as your family and such we can consider his presence at your side the same as Jace and Izzy?”

Those words feel like a punch in the gut to Magnus and he has to blink away the tears forming in his eyes. Alexander is smiling and nodding before pointing back to the interrupted lesson. 

With a relieved nod from Raj, Alec takes over keeping the kids engaged with quizzes as the lecture proceeds. Magnus finds it fascinating, observing how Alec gives out information about the plant’s uses within medicine, healing concoctions and actively aggressive practices it could be used for. Once Alec brings up potions Magnus gets tugged into the lesson as a guest lecturer. He gladly accepts the offer pointing out how potions and brewing are a warlock's cornerstone art, and as High Warlock it is his privilege to provide the young shadowhunters more information on the topic.

He does take the opportunity to dazzle and enchant the young minds with his knowledge. He makes a point of mentioning the most basic potions that could be prepared with the Cleistanthus collinus as main ingredient, that would be of interest to the young shadowhunters in their future career. Some of the brightest minds, apparently little Max Lightwood included, ask if there're more possible uses, and Magnus truthfully answers that yes more uses that he knows of exist.

However he also feels compelled to say, “brewing, like in any other art is always changing. There's still so much more that could be explored and experimented in this world. Young shadowhunters like you should always remember that knowledge is an ever evolving thing, nothing is ever stagnant or written in stone. Like life, everyday something new is being discovered, and with each new discovery more knowledge is created waiting to be shared.”

After that, they both can see the kids starting to lose their focus, Alec immediately takes control of the situation and gives the command for what probably is the last set of drills for the day. Hearing the long list of demands he can only sympathise when the children groan. Magnus knows they are going to remain till the exercises are complete, he’s unsure himself if it is a show of support, or a challenge Alec is throwing at him when he receives the sweetly spoken suggestion that all the older men should follow through the drill as well.

Magnus, as usual, feels invigorated by the competition that brings a playful and carefree shine of fire into Alexander’s eyes. Surprisingly, the kids seem delighted that Magnus is joining in the exercises as well, even if near the end they all seem confused and disbelieving. 

Which is probably what prompts one of the girls to ask “How can a warlock keep up? Aren’t you supposed to just rely on magic, making your body weaker? I mean, magic seems so cool. Why would you even waste your time in doing boring training when you could just wiggle your fingers and make things happen? I don’t get it, we are shadowhunters, we train a lot. How can you keep up?”

When he answers those questions, Magnus apparently does something that makes Alexander's eye shine with pride, devotion and adoration. He can read in them so many promises of fulfilling rewards once they are alone. Without missing a beat in executing the drill, Magnus calmly points out to the kids that if a warlock with no rigorous shadowhunter training is able to keep up with their pace, clearly they are all taking it easy on him. Surely they are more than capable of doing even more than he can...

Thankfully, none of the other adults in the room point out to the kids that most likely, the centuries under Magnus' belt presumably mean that he has higher endurance and better resistance than his looks would suggest, and certainly more than the kids. He manages to get them so focused on ‘outdoing the warlock in the room’ that most of the young nephilim seem to spend all their remaining energies on proving their prowess. 

Magnus never had high expectations about shadowhunters, which was why it felt strange having Raj showing * _him_ * admiration. At least Magnus can be sure nothing so shocking will happen if the Lightwoods seniors are involved. He finds it even more weird, that the same Raj who could barely stand him, actually points out that it should really be a competition amongst all the people in the room to see who will be the last one standing. Most of the kids boisterously start to pick who they think will win and bets are traded amongst them, betting with ichor duty days. Alec says that if they all feel like gambling away ichor duty days then the first few to drop should have an additional week just for following through with the betting and having more currency.

When the kids finally give up and crash on the floor panting, the only ones standing are unsurprisingly Magnus himself, Alexander, Raj, and Monteverdi, the last two completely out of breath and ready to call quit.

And when only Magnus and Alec are left standing it's little Max with his cheeky smirk who asks if the two of them are used to ‘ _training_ ’ together... Using an intonation that barely conceals the innuendo, which Magnus can recall hearing day in and day out coming out from the mouth of Alexander's parabatai. There is only one answer he’s willing to share. One that maybe would knock the cheekiness down a peg or two.

“But of course I have the pleasure of training with your Head of the Institute. How else did you think I could manage to be one of the two last standing? However, as adults, and with me having magic, our training is slightly different than what you are taught. It is certainly nothing that could be safe or productive to do in here risking to damages all the plants... After all, I happen to know that there’re perfectly equipped training rooms in the Institute. There’s no need to disturb the peace of the conservatory.”

Magnus gleefully enjoys the greenish hue Raj's face takes on. He is quite surprised when Alec just grins and leans toward him to whisper conspiratorially, "if the kids go to bed soon, no one is around. We could claim the training room for some more private training... Just let me warn Andrew so it would be only us..."

The thought is more thrilling than it should be. Especially because despite the promise of privacy, despite the innuendo clear to all the adults in the room, despite the teasing playful body language they exchange... Despite all that Magnus is pretty sure he can feel Alexander's fidgety energy responding to his magic, a sign that lets him know that it will be the real kind of training. Which could completely end up as something more, something that will make them hurry them back home to be completed, but it won't happen before more energy is burned out the traditional way.

Competitions and games are always a welcome part of their foreplay, but he found out that he enjoys a nice hand to hand approach, in a purely fighting sense, with his lover.

Shadowhunters are bred and trained to be perfectly efficient machines, their bodies are honed weapons responding to their master's command... And Magnus can freely admit to himself that on some nights he does wish to be the master, deciding which movements those sculpted muscles are allowed, being the one to choose what shape the artwork that is his angel should take, a golden and blue rope designing beautiful figures against his lover’s pale skin... 

Oh yes, Magnus’ mind could get lost in those thoughts for hours. And the most marvelling thing of it all is the magic deep knowledge that he would be welcome to do so, if not actively begged to take control in that way... Alexander is simply absolutely fantastic in everything they experiment with and try. Since even before they got together, his angel had opened up to Magnus without reserves, without any shadow of doubts. With such pure, innocent conviction in the belief of being held in good _safe_ hands. It brings tears to Magnus’ eyes every single time, for no one has ever decided intentionally to trust him so implicitly with all they are and all they have...

He knows how rare Alexander's gift is. And Magnus is aware enough that not even Jace, could claim the same level of openness between the two of them as there is between Magnus and Alexander... Despite the fact that the parabatai bond is like nothing else... Returning to the present, he waits for the signal from Alexander that the cost is clear and Underhill has taken care of the surveillance on the training room, making sure that the cameras are not going to record their training.

The kids indeed, like Alec predicted, fall exhausted pretty quickly and with a kindness found usually only in loving parents, Alexander encourages all of them to hold on a little longer, get up and head towards their respective rooms, reminding that a hot shower is the best way to greet their well deserved meeting with their beds... Magnus miraculously manages to keep a neutral face at such a pep talk, and not laugh out loud at the silliness and adorable cuteness of it all.

Once the conservatory remains deserted bar the two of them, Alexander raises an eyebrow half teasing, half challenging. "Well Mr. Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, do you feel like continuing a private training session within my humble Institute's facilities?"

With a smirk that clearly presents both the teasing and playful side he aims for, Magnus answers candidly, "only if the Head of the Institute feels like it would be agreeable, to allow the local High Warlock the privilege of using the Institute’s facilities. And of course, only if you're sure that such thing doesn't create a conflict of interest for you Mr Lightwood. I can officially say I would gladly accept the invite... I do love a good workout."

The grin he directs at Alec is pretty lewd and probably more adequate for their bedroom than such a public place. Magnus takes comfort in the fact that the kids have been promptly sent to bed, and no other shadowhunter would dare to get in between the two of them. The only exception to that would be Alec's siblings, but after Jace got way too many eyefuls for anyone’s comfort, seeing how unashamed Magnus could make Alec be... Well, it is now a well learned lesson that knocking or otherwise announcing one’s presence, avoids being presented with sides of one’s sibling life that should stay private...

Magnus grins fondly at the memories of Jace calling out his presence, just to be told to fuck off because they were not going to stop. Lows grumbled threats of having Jace’s own time with Clary being imposed on and the tables turned... Jace had been once idiotic enough to test how serious his parabatai and brother could be with such threats. Only to find out that indeed Alexander could be as much of a menace as the rest of his siblings if the situation calls for it, or if someone is stupid enough to actually dare or push Alexander to do it...

It has been quite a nice discovery for Magnus, one that has left him thirsty for more, and decidedly hot under the collar. After all, Magnus could find intriguing boys very attractive, and Alexander is nothing but intriguing. The potential of what he could do, wrapped tightly into the shape Alexander's own moral code and iron willpower willed into existence, so much focused control under his finger, waiting for him to unravel and make the man undone with a simple whisper from his lips and barely a touch of his skin...

He is totally gone for this man, and he can't wait for them to officially be declared off the market, having the right to claim Alexander as his for the rest of their life together, however long it might be...

Alexander certainly is efficient, while he got lost into the delightful corners of his own mind and memories, his angel coordinated with Underhill to have the training room obscured for their private training. He’s sure that most of the Institute believes unspeakable things and deflowering is going to happen behind obscured cameras, the truth in a way, like his Alexander, is decisively more innocent and heart warming. Every time, even if everything is confirmed that the cameras are obscured, Alec takes a sweep of the room to make sure there're no other recording devices in the vicinity. The point is that Alexander wants to be sure no one would ever know what to expect from Magnus. Alexander was caught unprepared once, after that his angel wanted for others to feel the same disorientation, recognising that at least against other shadowhunters, it would be enough to buy Magnus some precious moments to either use or recuperate his magic. Or find a quick way out of the ambush. Magnus knows that the precaution comes from the real possibility of someone within the Institute sharing knowledge that shouldn’t be revealed.

For similar reasons when Magnus did offer to teach Alec at least some of the moves he knows that are no longer taught, he makes sure no one else would spy on those lessons. Magnus can honestly say that he is absolutely ecstatic to discover how good Alexander is at following orders and learn new things. He does want his archer safe. Not that the fact Alexander being really good with hands to hands, and close distance combat wouldn't already throw off any adversary. In his experience most archers tend to become too complacent in having a support team at their back. Alexander instead is used to be the last line of support the team has.

So after the usual proforma sweep of the training room, Alec arrives in front of him, boots already discarded near the bench and two staff in hand, one offered to him with a smile.

Magnus smiles back and he takes the staff in his hands. They both start to circle around one another, movements slow and precise, more a relaxed stretching exercise, than a real study of the opponent standing in front of them.

Like any other time the first part of the training is a refresh of stances, that if executed correctly wouldn't touch the training partner. However a small movement out of time, a slight twitch of muscles one fraction in advance or delayed and things could lose their magical flow. Not that it's ever a problem, Magnus has over four centuries of training. He started soon after he escaped his time in Edom under his father's "loving" care. While trapped in hell he discovered that if his body was trained, then his own magic became more attuned to himself, more readily available and stronger. 

It also did help a lot the fact that since he is a warlock, he has been constantly underestimated and considered weak, or at the very least a lot weaker physically than magically. 

Recognising that as a weakness, during a time in his life when weakness meant agony, he found himself a way to remedy that deficiency. On his own initially, and once he finally walked on Earth, by living his life as master of his own self. He took the advantage his condition allowed him. He spent the time needed to train and learn his body and magic, considering them as integral parts of himself that he would need to nurture and develop.

During the years he even managed to discuss the merits of his practice with both Ragnor and Catarina, convincing them of the benefit it would bring. Three centuries and counting of practice later and the three of them were able to be a lot stronger than anyone would ever give them credit for... Making them a perfect rescue and recovery team during the uprising, and more able than most to face the horrors that were the black sites created by the circle members...

Of course Magnus doesn't have in himself to share this tidbit with his lover. Remembering perfectly well who his future in laws are going to be. Though he has never been one to judge others for their parents, extending the same courtesy he wants extended to himself, in not being judged by his own demonic father.

Alexander in all his efficiency can be a marvel to observe, exposed skin tantalising Magnus's eyes with flashes of paleness, and the hard black runes decorating it, muscles moving fluidly under the skin, promising strength and precise movements.

Three steps forwards are met with two steps backwards and the staff being blocked mid air in between the two warriors. A parry and a push forces Magnus to step back this time, letting Alexander gain on him. A block from the underside of the staff, and a twirl of the extremities to push the staff into a horizontal position in front of him, as he pushes against Alec's with slightly more strength than necessary, trying to push Alexander into a corner and claim this round’s victory.

He doesn't notice that in stepping back Alec is lightly bouncing on the heels of the naked feet, getting ready to use Magnus's own strength against him, and taking advantage of the momentum gained to slide and tackle his ankles with the result of rolling the both of them on the floor.

Had he been another shadowhunter and not a warlock, that move would have been enough to be knocked on the floor and gain the upper hand. However Magnus is a warlock, and magic is second nature to him, so he simply uses it to balance himself, preventing the ruinous fall from pushing him into a position of disadvantage.

He makes sure to not land badly, with his ankles still held between Alec's legs. Magnus decides to play dirty and he lets himself fall on his lover aiming the staff horizontally Waiting for Alec to block it while Magnus let his whole weight lean against the staff offering all the resistance gravity gives him. He tries to get as close as he’s able to steal a kiss, only for Alec's biceps to flex and push Magnus up, to be thrown on the side and have their position reverted with a powerful flip powered by the abs Magnus loves to leave marks on during their lovemaking.

"Magnus, don't flirt with me, we said training" Magnus grins like the Cheshire cat while being trapped under his lover, unable to restrain himself, "Darling, I thought that training means also using all and every possible trick in our arsenal to win..."

Despite grinning like a lovesick fool he manages to free one of his legs and angling it to get more leverage under Alec's compact lean body. Using his own tight as lever to turn the tables once more, and find himself on top of Alexander using the magic at the tip of his fingertips to make both staff slide away on the side of the room. The whole day has made him too high strung to properly letting Alec have the serious training they had originally aimed for. Whispering barely few breaths away from Alexander's lips he murmurs an apology "I'm sorry Darling, you have been too delicious for me to be able to concentrate on training. There's soo much more I could show you if only you'd let me. I want to show you exactly how much I appreciate all you do for me."

He places a small chaste kiss on the corner of Alec's mouth letting his glamour drop, showing exactly how much love he possesses for the man currently yielding underneath him. 

Feeling the shivers making his angel tremble just by his mere closeness, it makes Magnus feel like a geisha of old times each and every occasion he can make Alexander react that way to him. The intoxicating power of being able to have his lover at his mercy with a single look.

"Tell me sayang, tell me what you want, and I will give it to you... Ask the world and I'll serve it for you on a silver plate, as long as you wait for it in my bed. and stay in my life all you have to do is ask..."

The loving adoring glance he's rewarded with would be enough to melt any hot blooded man, but the whispered "Magnus, I don't want the world, I want you, you are my world" is enough to break any semblance of restrain he might ever hope to have when this man is in his life, in his arms… Never one to adhere to useless restrictions, especially when they are not needed, Magnus follows his desires and throws himself into a passionate kiss letting himself melt on top of his lover. Feeling like a liquefied cat, completely covering his beloved despite their different sizes… Anywhere his own skin is not able to reach and claim Alexander’s, his magic takes over making sure his angel is surrounded with the same amount of love and devotion he and his magic are shown every single time Alexander is with him.

"Sayang I want to take you home and make love with you. I want to devour you until you're unable to have anything but my name leaving your lips… I want to touch every single inch of your body, until you can only feel me moving in and on you... what do you say to such plan Darling? Do you want to follow me home…?"

Alec's pupils are so dilated that it is impossible to see their colour now. And knowing Magnus himself is the reason why Alec is in this condition, it is both empowering and humbling, especially when an absolutely soft and almost broken "Magnus please" reaches his ears and makes his blood roar like fire in his veins.

He gets up and offers his hand to Alexander, offering both a much needed contact and help to stand after the dizziness. Magnus flashes a bright smile to Andrew Underhill as they make their way toward the head's office, they receive just a smile and an inclined nod in return.

It takes less than three minutes to reach a point within the wards, where he can safely open a portal without questions asked. There is less than the skeleton crew around so they can manage to reach the office without being spotted. Meaning there wouldn't be any questions asked if they just portal home and resume what had been stopped in the training room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next days pass happily for Magnus, he now understands better where his lover is coming from. He saw the havoc the young nephilims could actually do, even after a whole day. 

When they should be tired out, on the last lesson of the day, which supposedly is the easiest turn. Even then it is quite the challenge trying to both keep the youngsters concentrated and busy enough to not create problems. In fact he can finally see how this might be considered a punishment that would push downworlders to behave. The younger generation of shadowhunters needs to be safely chaperoned, while getting introduced with different downworlders and their culture. Doing it the way Alexander proposed is one option that not even the old guard of the Clave could find a legit reason to complain against. 

Not without getting off their mighty holier than thou horses and openly admit they are setting the current Head up for fail… A Head of the Institute that is very respected and has real political influence in the local Shadow World scene, it wouldn't be accepted.

Thinking about this, Magnus can't stop the smirking when looking at the pile of messages left at the loft for Alexander, thank you cards and updates on the situations Alec ruled over while at the club. Apparently, Raphael really managed to do him a solid, somehow talking Alec into taking his role without Magnus having to beg. And seriously, Magnus couldn’t be happier about that.

It is after the third consecutive day they all congregate at Pandemonium, that Magnus decides enough is enough and he plans on insisting on some downtime for the both of them. Both Magnus and Alexander’s schedules have been pretty packed, to the point Magnus barely managed a couple of dances and few stolen kisses, on their night out at the club. He is barely able to kidnap his angel and go back home in time to allow Alexander to go to the Institute without needing the aid of tons of coffee, a stamina rune and a caffeine rune all together.

On the fourth day, Magnus is strangely enough ahead of his schedule, he finished taking care of clients earlier than he thought. So he decides to make an improvised visit to the Institute and grab a quick lunch with Alexander. Only to walk into a surprised Underhill at the door.

“Magnus, there’s something wrong with Alec? He left a while ago after taking the rest of the day off, and he’s not scheduled to come back until later in the evening for a patrol. Did something happen?” Magnus is rather surprised and after thanking and assuring Andrew that everything is all right, he starts making his way out of the Institute only to cross path with Jace. 

"Magnus, dude, I know you and Alec are absolute tigers in the sack, but any chance you could lay it lighter on my parabatai? Tonight we have patrol and it's been a couple of days now that he feels so sore all around I can't even pinpoint where it comes from. I can admit I’m sort of curious to know what you two are doing… I can’t recall him ever feeling this way before…"

Magnus frowns and without even thinking it through he asks impulsively "Jace you're absolutely sure Alexander feels sore or in pain? As far as I know, he shouldn't feel this way at all, in fact, I didn't even know he took the day off, he didn't call me, though it's true that I was supposed to be busy for the whole afternoon..." 

A look of worry passes between the two of them and Jace starts to look decidedly uncomfortable... Like blondie has suddenly realised sharing things that maybe shouldn't have been shared at all…

Magnus looks at Jace in the eyes "Jace I just want what is best for your brother, we might not have always seen eye to eye, but please believe me. There is no universe where I would wish for Alexander to be in pain, especially if I can avoid it... But there's nothing I can do if I do not know when he is hurt... Tell me can you think of when he might have gotten hurt? Or how long ago? Have you guys been in fights with demons and he might still have some poison into his system without any of us noticing?"

At the barging of questions, Jace looks more and more helpless "I'm sorry Magnus, nothing comes to mind, we didn't really get many demons during patrols, Alec has been in the office looking after the kids most of the time, and there was no particular situation that comes in mind where he might have gotten hurt with demon venom... I'm sorry, unlike other injuries I cannot feel where this is coming from...“ Magnus notices Jace is hesitating, either searching for the proper way of describing it or deciding whether to share anything at all or not... Jace mush have decided on something, and Magnus finds himself grateful when Jace continues sharing, "It sort of feels like it's a pain of the soul... centred in his very essence? I'm sorry I cannot really describe any better than this Magnus, I'm so so sorry for not noticing before please go and take care of my brother”

Magnus nods and promises, taking in the pleading look in Jace’s eyes. "Don't worry I'll do my best to make things right, the only thing I have to ask of you is to stay away for a while. Please let me deal with this, clearly it's something Alexander doesn't want to talk about, if you could make sure none of the gang shows up, I would appreciate it, in fact, pretend that you've not seen me. We never had this chat, and if by any chance the gang wants to come over either make sure it doesn't happen or use your damn phone and warn me in time ok?"

After receiving the nod he quickly marched toward Underhill and whispers, “could you please make sure there's no trace of me having come today and if Alexander asks tonight, please do not tell him I figured out to go to him because you and Jace said something? I'd appreciate it if I could have the time to deal with all this at our own pace without worrying about other people's reaction. Could you please do that and forget all this even happened?"

He doesn't want to use a spell to make sure his request is followed. Underhill is a good fella, and a pretty decent shadowhunter once he stopped being too _friendly_ with Alexander... At the same time Magnus doesn't want to create more problems for Alexander.

As he sees the smile on Andrew’s face he feels himself relaxing, the innocent look taking over the features of the blond man tilting the head and asking innocently "I don't know what you're talking about Sir. In fact, I don't recall having seen anyone but Jace this afternoon, and I have the security camera footage to prove it..." 

Underhill's smile is devious and the shrug completely nonchalant. Magnus reassured nods and walks quickly out of the Institute. He doesn’t really realise that he has just acted like any other spouse of the Head of Institute could do. Ordering around their shadowhunters and have one’s commands obeyed.

While Alexander is never one to freely tamper with surveillance records, he is known to have done so, in the past, for important things. Even Magnus could agree it is about damn time that some layer of protection for Alec's own privacy is finally implemented...

Magnus doesn't waste more time than necessary in conjuring the portal home. A split second before walking through it he starts to debate with himself whether it's better to walk directly inside the loft, or if maybe he should just enter through the door. He doesn't want to startle Alexander, and at the same time, he doesn't want to give away right from the start that he knows something is not ok... He doesn't know yet in which condition he will find his lover, there is fear, but the fact that Jace hasn't registered the current situation as threatening should mean more than it actually does. 

In fact, initially, Jace had considered the soreness of a completely different nature, that should be reason enough for Magnus to not worry. No reason for him to have his heart beating so fast in his throat. In the end, Magnus decides to actually portaling directly inside the loft, exactly as if he was returning home as usual.

Once he steps inside he is greeted by the smell of freshly brewed healing potions. Which he knows for a fact he has not prepared anytime recently, at all... The gentle breeze invades the whole loft, carrying around the smell of blood and sickness. Magnus cannot identify right away what it is, but he can pinpoint exactly where it comes from... The balcony.

His search is also aided by the soft hiss of pain and mumbled profanities he never heard before leaving his angel's lips. He takes a couple of hesitant steps toward the open door. Still, he can’t see what’s going on except hearing a ruffling sound that Magnus can’t place.

Unfortunately, the fact that neither smell nor sounds are bad enough to really ring any bells in his mind, leads Magnus with a false sense of security that it is not going to be anything so bad... 

He certainly should have known better. He really should, knowing who is involved in the situation… He should have expected that by now Alexander is pretty much used to pain. That probably the fact that Jace could feel something this time, simply meant that the pain has reached the peak above the threshold of what Alec could handle and block from the parabatai bond at the same time. In insight, he does feel pretty stupid for not thinking all that in advance.

The picture that greets Magnus’s eyes is painful and heartbreaking. And yet despite the bit of shame and guilt growing in him, Magnus has a sliver of awe and the seed of adoration blooming in his chest in seeing his angel sitting on their balcony with a pair of wings unfurled on Alec's back. 

The wings themselves are a mess, they look very battered, torn and bloody, like they got way too much damage to be normal or healthy. 

Which all in all. He supposes that explains the soreness described by Jace. Knowing that Alexander felt enough at home to drop any glamour while in his loft… No, a quick look around the living room is enough to pick the small knick knacks, the odd weapon and additional books Alexander took home, this is their home now. And the warmth spreading in him, at knowing it is as much of a safe place for Alexander as it is for Magnus himself, is all encompassing. 

The coldness that is slowly sweeping through him filtering in his dazzled brain is paralysing… Yes, deep down Magnus knows he is stalling, now that he knows what is going on. He knew it was not life threatening… While a little piece of him is crying and hurting at being denied this part of Alexander… 

The majority of him is horrified at his own behaviour. Magnus had always strongly believed that certain sensitive things like a _mark_ , should be a person’s prerogative to decide _if, when, how_ and _to whom_ the mark could be shared…

And he just stole Alec's choice and decision whether to share this with him or not. No matter how much the second option hurts even to think about, Alexander might have decided that Magnus didn't deserve to ever know about the wings... After all they were just dating, not yet been together long enough to enter a courtship.

The fact Magnus just wanted to help his partner. That Magnus did it with good intention, that he had no idea something like this could have happened with a shadowhunter. It doesn’t make things right. His stomach is already twisting in knots about the possible huge fight he might face once Alexander realises what he has done…

Sure Magnus could try to throw on the table the trust card and how it's not good keeping secrets especially ones that could be dangerous... But his own mind is way too eager and prompt to remind him how very hypocritical of him that would be… His own words come back to taunt and haunt him. Reminding him how many times he denied Alexander even crumbles of his past, with what now taste like flimsy excuses in his mouth. **_Being in a relationship doesn’t grant a person the right to their partner’s past_** … 

And here he is, stealing that away from Alec. Clearly, wings that large, big enough to actually have a very real chance to allow a person as tall as Alexander to fly, they don’t come into existence one day to the next, they have to grow… 

So those wings have to be part of Alexander’s own past. A thought pretty much supported when Magnus takes a look at how the bowls, bottles and towels are surrounding Alexander in what is clearly an organised system. That's not something even Alec could whip out of thin air in no time. 

This is another puzzle piece that Magnus couldn’t figure out before, but it seems to make some sort of sense now. The longer Alexander spent under his wards, in Magnus’s presence, both in intimate and in social situations, the more attuned and sensitive Alec became to his magic. It feels like his angel is able to sense the magic reaching in, and send back a feedback in return… In a way, it’s almost as if his magic is reacting and interacting with Alexander’s presence the same way it would with another magical being. However, Magnus's magic is responding to Alexander in a completely different way than it does with other warlocks or seelies .

Maybe this is an unknown effect of Alexander giving himself fully over and over again to Magnus, freely and completely… When Magnus accepts his angel's strength, in exchange he lets his magic wash over Alexander, leaving bit by bit a small trace of himself behind, the same way some traces of Alexander’s energy stays with him. 

Time after time, injury after injury, it builds up to the point that on some days he almost feels like the two of them are sharing a bond, one that can only be described as a battle couple bond...

Which puzzles Magnus more than he’d like to admit… It’s not that the thought isn’t lovely. The troubling part is that those kinds of bonds work only between people who actually can use magic. So, as sad as it is, it’s impossible for him and Alexander to ever be able to share such bond. And even if for some strange twist of fate it’d be possible, it’s not like they actually completed all the steps for such a connection to form spontaneously without the aid of a ritual… Sure, Magnus did kill a few demons during a routine patrol or two, when he got called to close a rift. But it’s not like he and Alexander have fought together, nor had they performed any kind of bonding ceremony...

So whenever such feelings and sensations peek their heads up at Magnus's consciousness, he just dismisses them as fanciful flights of his imagination. What he does know, however, is that when yet another whimper is leaving his lover's lips, so Magnus's magic decides for him what is the correct thing to do at this point… Which results in tendrils of said magic reaching toward Alexander revealing Magnus's presence, still looking from inside the loft.

Alexander looks like a battered angel resting at home, after yet another fight… Sitting cross legged on the floor like it is the most welcoming place to lounge. One wing spread in all it’s huge glory, almost like trying to claim any room and sunlight it could, while the other resting on Alexander’s lap to be taken care of.

Magnus can see the exact moment when the look of surprise transforms into one slightly fearful, changing completely the light in those beautiful eyes. 

Alexander's body taut in a stillness that betrays the desire to bolt and run away. Alec's hands clenching and unclenching around the bloody towel, half aborting the motion of trying to clean the dirt and drying blood from the feathers within reach. Magnus could see the bones looking opaque as if covered with a dirty looking poultice. The uneven distribution makes it look like something that shouldn't be there, rather than the variation or reacted version of the healing paste as he initially believed it to be…

As far as Magnus could tell from just glancing from afar, the leather part of the wings is sickly looking, as if infected and irritated. He can see many burns and tears that seem to indicate Alexander passing through a hard time, that no one seems to know about or had been aware of… What is getting at Magnus, is the fact that despite the wards, despite Alexander having a parabatai, neither Jace nor himself have been cognizant of what has happened. Nor what could have caused so much damage without leaving any visible cause.

Alexander is frozen in place, panic seems to build in such expressive eyes and when a soft "Alexander" leaves Magnus's lips hidden within a harsh breath, that admittedly might carry on how upset he is in seeing Alexander hurt… Alec seems to be completely unsure of what to do next. From the guilty looks Alec sends his way Magnus is pretty sure that his own reasons to be upset are not being understood. Magnus gets clued in about the painful misunderstanding happening when Alexander breaths a brokenly and feeble whisper "Ma-Magnus, I- I can explain I swear.." 

The wings are shivering and curling closer to Alec's body creating a miserable looking shield. To Magnus, it’s completely unclear if the reaction is instinctual to shield Alexander or if it is supposed to shield and hide the exquisitely unique wings themselves. Magnus takes a step forward and offers a small uncertain smile, "Sayang please" his voice is soft and he tries to convey with both his words and eyes all the love he has for Alexander.

"They are beautiful. You are beautiful my Darling, I'm just upset that you are hurt and I wish I had known…” Magnus takes a steady breath because even thinking about this is painful “it looks like you've been hurting for a while and I didn't even notice... I’m so sorry, please let me understand what hurt you so much, so I can adjust the wards to make sure it doesn’t happen again… Please let me help you.” 

Magnus continues to take small steps inching closer and closer toward Alexander, like he would do with a wounded and scared wild animal... Trying not to spook his angel and hoping to be allowed to help. Once Magnus reaches touching distance he stops and waits for Alexander’s decision. He has already robbed Alec of so many important choices already... Magnus doesn't want to risk Alexander because of this, so for now the only thing he can do is wait... Wait and hope he had not screwed this up too much...

Alec still is looking pretty much spooked. Magnus lowers himself down biting his lips, searching in himself the strength to resist the impulse of touching the soft looking feathers, and the desire to immediately start to heal Alexander. He kneels properly, tilting his head so he could look into Alexander’s eyes. Unlike other times, when Magnus had let his glamour down to provoke a reaction from his lover, this time it's Magnus's magic responding to the deeply rooted need for closeness, trying to level the field between them and bring them both to the same degree of exposure and vulnerability. While at the same time satisfying the desire both of them are feeling but are yet unable to properly articulate. 

Golden cat eyes search Alexander's eyes and once they manage to capture and hold his angel’s attention, Magnus whispers softly "Sayang I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to take away from you the choice on how to handle your wings. Please, please know that I wasn’t trying to force your hand, I would have been ok and I would still have loved you with all my heart even without ever knowing about them."

Magnus takes a half choked breath in between silent sobs, eyes shining with tears. "I know it doesn’t change what I did. And I can only apologise for not letting you reveal your wings on your own terms. I never meant for this to happen, it has never been my intention, I just wanted to help you, I can swear a blood oath to you. I never meant to cause you pain or force you."

Magnus's eyes are filled with love as he blinks rapidly to keep the tears at bay, his voice cracking a little with emotions… "Sayang just say the word and if you want me to leave you alone I'll leave, but please know I just want to be able to help you if you'll let me. I know it's a lot to ask, but I just... Please let me help you"

Being nearer means that Magnus is now able to see the damage up close. Scarlet shiny drops of what presumably is blood, on the bones and some of the feathers. The tears and burns he saw from afar look badly infected. Now that he is in its proximity, aided by the visual details, Magnus can recognise the smell of sickly pus emanating from the sticky looking skin. The dark feathers nearer Alexander's back look twisted and battered. Tentatively Magnus offers one last time, readying himself to accept Alexander’s silence as the refusal it’s probably meant to be, his voice getting softer and lower, into a trembling whisper "If I can assist you, in any way, please let me know..."

Here he has done it... Magnus made himself completely vulnerable to Alexander. He knows deep down that if his angel decides that Magnus needs to step away, it will hurt like hell, but he will do it. 

It is the only honourable thing he can offer now, and that’s not even a fraction of the penance he deserves for _forcing_ a revelation. He is feeling pretty bad. Part of him is swearing in his head in all the languages he could think. 

Maybe, the next time he might think that he has the right of getting mad at Alexander, for trying to help Magnus without consulting him first… Should that thought ever cross his mind again, Magnus would totally deserve to be reminded of all the good intentions that landed him in this moment… And he has no excuses or justification to offer. Despite knowing it was not a life or death situation. Knowing his own wards had not picked anything malicious going on… He still had to come and figure out what was going on with Alexander. And that led him to do the one unforgivable thing, he never thought he would ever do anyone, certainly not to the man he loves...

As the silence stretches, the shame at his actions grows, burning at the pit of his stomach and at the back of his neck. He looks down unable to bear any longer the silence nor the pained and confused look in Alexander's eyes. Magnus braces himself for the rejection he feels coming, the rejection he _**knows** he deserves_… 

Sweet magic he knows that if it was him in Alexander’s shoes, right now he would be downright furious… A lover waltzing into him with his still unrevealed mark openly displayed for the sole purpose of fixing any damage… After finally feeling safe enough in a place to let the glamour go, their coming in uninvited…

Oh indeed all of Edom fury would be thrown as such lover without hesitation. A lot of distance immediately pushed in between them, with the strongest, tallest walls being erected in a matter of seconds… He knows this would be his reaction.

It would feel like a betrayal impossible to forgive, let alone forget. 

And yet finding himself in the shoes of the betrayer, he can’t stop praying that, while he knows he doesn't deserve forgiveness, maybe Alexander could find in himself to not shut him out completely. He has a tiny spark of hope, that maybe, just maybe, he could still have the chance to prove himself… Demonstrate that he never meant harm. That despite this breach of trust he still can be a loving partner… That he can find a way to earn back the right to deserve being loved... That he just made a gigantic mistake, born from the well meaning but maybe misguided attempt of offering assistance. 

Magnus knows how Alexander tends to be… How more often than not the beautiful man he is in love with, not only doesn't even consider it necessary to tend injuries deemed "insignificant", but is also unwilling to ask for help, mistakenly believing that it could ever be a bother…

  
  


Magnus can hear a sharp intake and he can feel Alexander move in front of him. He is unable to make himself leave before being clearly asked to do so. So Magnus just stays still, waiting for the shove that will push him away… Waiting for his world to crumble under the weight of his own mistakes.

A clear decisive sign that today he managed to live up to his chosen name. That he ended up spectacularly destroying months of mutually earned trust in just a few moments of carelessness… 

He’s hyper aware of Alexander's hands reaching forward. It must have been just a blink of an eye, but everything goes black as he braces himself, his eyes tightly close, waiting for the inevitable… Only to feel his face being gently cradled, Alexander's forehead touching his gently like many times before. As their breathing mixes between their mouths, Alexander's nose nuzzles lovingly against Magnus's nose. 

Magnus opens his eyes, stunned to find himself lost in the sea of love still present in Alexander's eye, not a hint of recrimination or anger shading them. He feels a warm sensation surrounding him. Partially it comes from the wings now curling around them both, creating a rather battered but secure shield keeping them protected against the world. 

Once he is inside this warm, yet clearly damaged cocoon, Magnus feels his own magic singing happily… Excited tenterhooks leaping toward Alexander of their own volition, only to be met and reciprocated halfway by Alexander’s energy… Magnus is extremely surprised and doesn't really understand what's going on… The only thing making sense at this moment it's the grounding feeling of the skin on skin connection with his angel and their breath mixing in front of them, making this feel more real than Magnus's mind thought possible. 

"Alexander..."

It takes only a few brief moments for Alexander's lips to meet his. They have kissed hundreds of times by now, and yet each time it's always something new… 

This time however, it feels different than anything they ever shared before… Of course, there's love, and happiness, and belonging, but underneath it all, there’s this foreign and exquisite feeling of just having found home while simultaneously returning back to it. 

It is amongst the most chaste kisses they ever shared. But in this moment, nothing could have filled Magnus’s heart with more hope.

Because this kiss tastes of forgiveness and absolution… Because if Alexander had decided to kick Magnus out of Alec's life completely, choosing rightly so to reject Magnus, then his angel is not the kind of man who would lead him on cruelly. Not like other previous lovers did in the past. 

No... Had Magnus lost his chance with this beautiful creature still holding onto him like Magnus’s a most precious treasure. Then he wouldn't have been kissed with such tenderness, that tears have formed in Magnus's eyes. Alexander had always been great at expressing himself with actions. And the ones he has just witnessed, are making Magnus's heart soar with the hope that he truly can save their relationship from his usually fatal misstep. 

When Alec starts to talk, Magnus is really convinced he already knows what is going to be said. However when the words coming from Alexander's mouth register they are a shock to his system.

"Magnus..." Magnus notices that Alec's voice is broken up with emotions. There are so many of them encompassed in the syllables forming his name, that they betray exactly how chocked up Alexander is feeling… 

How every word that Magnus is going to listen to has passed a tight knot in Alexander’s throat. Forcing his angel to fight alone an enemy against which no weapons are effective. Hearing it has a way to leave Magnus feeling so impotent and powerless, knowing there is absolutely nothing he can ever do either against it or to ease the struggle Alec is facing.

"I-.. I.. wish I could.. I want to.. But, I can't.. they are.. Too sens-.. Th-the magic hurts... can't ask you that,... not na-tural for you .. won't ask .. to block your magic"

Magnus can see the frustration building up in Alexander's tearing eyes. Something like this has never happened before, as far as he knows. Usually Alexander is very eloquent with words. His angel is a diplomat who could talk rings around the Seelie's Queen for Magic's sake... So it's quite disconcerting hearing and seeing this unfold in front of him… 

Magnus thinks that he has managed to get the gist of what Alec is trying to say. Taking a deep breath and letting his own fluency with words, trying to phrase it so it would require just a yes or no answer from Alexander. Something that if needed, it could be dealt without using words. Magnus takes a deep breath and asks gently, returning the gesture of caressing Alec’s face.

"Sayang, let me try to help understand what you are saying please, will you allow me to try to guess what’s going on?”

He forces himself to stay still, to not say anything else, letting Alexander take the time to think and answer without pressure… On one hand, the fact that he has not been shot down right away it’s a good thing, he still has the chance to help… On the other hand, the fact that Alec has so much trouble even deciding this, it could either be a sign that indeed Magnus has screwed up big time, or that being self conscious, Alec is still debating if Magnus is welcome to… No. He can’t think that way. He can focus instead on something else like making the list of all the ingredients present in the apothecary… Maybe ordered alphabetically or by use or.. Gladly his train of thoughts gets interrupted by Alexander’s positive answer. Smiling softly he plans how to start this round of twenty questions.

“Does magic hurt you if it touches your wings while they are needing assistance?”

The sharp nod he receives as answer starts to make things a little clearer in his head. If the magic hurts, then most likely also residual magic would cause pain. And that could mean that what was upsetting Alexander was more about the fact that for Magnus to help with the wings, he would need to block the flow of his magic in his hands.

It’s nothing really that difficult, a little cleanse ritual would take out any residue from his hands. If before then, he puts the loft in lockdown while they do this, they would be safe until everything returns to normal. Doing that wouldn’t be a problem at all, not on his part at least… But it all boils down and depends on whether Alexander _wants_ his help or not…

Magnus takes a deep breath to centre himself and takes Alexander’s hand in his squeezing gently 

“Darling there is no universe where you’d ever be a burden to me. If I tell you that I know a way so that we’ll both be safe. While I help you out healing them, without any magic involved. Can you trust me to take care of you enough to want me there Alexander?"

Alec's eyes grow wide in clear surprise. "Of course" 

The answer is half choked but verbal, which is a good sign. The strong conviction is a soothing balm on Magnus’s own private worries. He can set them aside, for now he can focus solely on Alexander and taking care of the hurt wings. Magnus press on, he desperately needs Alexander's consent for this, especially after what he just did, even if Alec is graciously not pressing the matter.

"Will you allow me to help you out?"

The answer he receives is a raised eyebrow and a half grin that promises Alexander is not talking about _just_ the current situation “I didn’t think we’d be up for renegotiation at this time, but I stand with what we already agreed. You are welcome to help me out anytime it’s not explicitly forbidden” 

The sass and teasing in the answer are unexpected but welcome. Clearly, Alexander has returned to a more collected frame of mind. And no, Magnus is sure that the warmth on his cheeks is not a blush being hidden by his makeup... Thank you very much, that thought is just absurd, even by his own standards.

"Ok, that’s good darling, let me get our home ready and then let me prepare myself, does that work for you?" 

With a small kiss on his nose Magnus found himself back on the balcony, Alexander’s wings no longer surrounding them. As Magnus starts the preparations he can feel curious eyes following every move he makes. The first thing he does is raising a new layer of protection within the whole apartment's wards. Efficiently and effectively putting the loft in lockdown. The two of them are free to leave or return, but nothing and no one else is allowed inside. A precautionary sweep of his magic checks and confirms that no one but himself, Alexander and Chairman Meow are actually present underneath the wards.

The next step is removing any piece of jewellery he is wearing. If the residual magic is problematic, Magnus doesn’t want to test out now whether magic imbued items could provoke the same reaction or not. Preparing for the cleanse after that is really child’s play. One that sees him moving with ease between the kitchen and the apothecary. Once he collects everything on the kitchen table and puts two kettles on the stove, he notices Alexander checking curiously what he has out on the table from a distance… 

“You’re welcome to come and look Darling. I promise it’s nothing painful nor complicated, just a small cleansing to make sure I’ve removed any trace of residual magic from my hands… I could explain it to you if you wish?”

In their time together Magnus noticed Alexander’s love for knowledge, and how the man enjoys applying it to everyone’s benefit. That’s why he’s not surprised to see the bright smile answering his offer and the soft but excited murmur “I’d like that if you’re sure I won’t get in your way…” 

Magnus gestures for one of the chairs at the kitchen table and starts to explain, “we are doing things as we can, some purist would insist that using anything but fresh running water from a spring just won’t work the same. However this far, no one has managed to prove them right, so that’s why I don’t mind at all using tap water while I work… Let me tell you Darling it would be very inconvenient if I had to bring back water into the house like it’s the 1400s every time I need to brew a potion.”

He is rewarded with soft chuckles for his efforts, and that sound eases his own nervousness a little, letting a small smile stretch his lips. Magnus continues adding each ingredient as he explains their properties, use and function for the current task.

“So having established that tap water works just as fine, what I want to add first is the salt. Most mundane’s cultures have it right, it could be really helpful to guard against evil, and it does have some cleansing properties of its own. Which in the specific case do help, but the main function it has this time is actually to trap what’s being discharged and keep it in the water.”

He’s not surprised to see Alexander following along. He knows Alec is very intelligent and has a great ability to retain and elaborate information, even if all the information Alec had been given was in tiny crumbles here and there. 

“Next I like to continue building up with the sage, the main purifier in here. Add a dash of cinnamon. You might not know this Darling but other than smelling fantastic. Which let me tell you, it always helps. It has purifying properties, sure usually it’s accessed through burning a cinnamon stick, but since water and smoke do not mix particularly well it is the reason why I’m going to use finely grounded powder in this instead… Do you want some tea Darling?”

After receiving a nod Magnus takes their mugs from the shelf, adding the required amount of sugar for Alexander and milk for himself, before setting them down on the counter. He makes a quick work of adding their current black tea blend in one of the kettles after turning off the stove. Then Magnus turns around and adds a few generous drops of olive oil in the bowl as the tea brews, before carrying on and pouring the tea into their mugs. As Magnus passes both mugs to Alexander, he continues talking.

“Darling do you mind stirring mine as well as I finish here. And please feel free to ask the question that’s burning the tip of your tongue. Let me tell you dear, burning questions have never been known to stave off the scorching of a freshly brewed cup of tea.”

He can hear the chuckling his comment provokes. Magnus picks up the other kettle and starts pouring the water into the bowl with the ingredients, the smell of the spices invading the kitchen, blending with the smell from the tea.

“Does the olive oil have any other properties that would help or is it just for the emollient effect that will protect your skin?” Magnus smiles intrigued and looks studiously at Alexander, observing yet another piece he never thought he would find in such a practical man.

“Indeed it does my darling… I’m surprised you even know about the positive effects olive oil can have on one’s skin. But aside from helping keep my hands all soft and smooth for you, in this instance, it’s the healing and protection property I’m after. It will help achieve those two goals and serve as a reminder to my magic that I’m not rejecting it but that it’s a temporary procedure with a specific scope…”

Magnus drinks about half of his tea before immerging both his hands in the bowl, mixing the ingredients. Once the salt is completely dissolved his motion changes. He gently scrubs his hands from the wrist toward his fingertips, repeating the motion over and over until the water passes from almost scorching to lukewarm. 

Magnus feels Alec staring at every movement he makes and smiles. He scrolls his hands on top of the bowl, let the drops fall in it before taking one of the kitchen’s towels to dry them. A raised eyebrow is all it takes to prompt Alexander into asking. “Is it normal for the water to change colour like that?”

Magnus looks down, getting rid of the contents, not wanting to analyse in too depth what it all means, before washing the bowl.

Magnus contemplates his answer before saying neutrally “It can happen or not, it’s not exactly a precise indicator of the success of the ritual. Sometimes the water stays as clear as if it was never disturbed, other times it can end up being darker than what you saw today.” 

They both finish the remaining of their mug in silence. Starting to feel once more a little fidgety Magnus jumps up from the chair and washes also the now empty mugs.

Alexander nods seemingly satisfied and starts walking back toward the balcony. Magnus, having finished with the dishes, starts to follow Alec outside toward their destination. 

Magnus just walked into the living room when he hears the exasperated sigh escaping Alec’s lips, before he finally takes notice of the feathers littered across the room. 

The Chairman is playing with one of them, unsuccessfully chasing it, always getting closer and closer, almost within reach only for the feather to never be touched by the small paws. It almost looks like the feather is teasing the poor cat, sprinting and waltzing away from reach, on an invisible breeze, following an unsung melody.

Magnus can hear the drawn out sigh before seeing the defeat in Alec’s movements as his angel starts to pick up the closest feathers. He knows it feels like stalling before actually getting down to the real action, or maybe collecting the feathers has a meaning he doesn’t know yet… Probably like a warlock’s mark his shadowhunter's wings are a sensitive subject. Something that either has too many emotions or too many bad reactions connected to it for him to ask directly for explanations right now. The best Magnus can offer as support is helping with the collection and making a quicker work of it, so that the real healing can start. After a quick check, making sure no strays were left behind on his part of the room he walks toward Alexanders and offers the feathers he picked up. 

“Here darling I picked those from the other side of the room, I’m sorry if I didn’t ask but it seemed more logical trying to get to the healing part of the program as soon as possible… I’d rather not have you in pain for longer than necessary.” 

He is getting mentally prepared to let go of the soft feathers in his arms. He doesn’t recognise what’s their deal, but he can feel a faint almost familiar hum coming from the feathers. If he’s honest it is a comforting feeling and the thought of separating for them is slightly saddening.

When he gets few steps closer, he can see the surprise present on Alexander’s face. He doesn’t know if that’s because Alec is being offered back the feathers Magnus picked up or if it’s something else, he doesn’t know nor understand. He is however able to observe and pinpoint the exact moment when something changes, and Alec has reached a decision. The words directed at him are a surprise, but he’s not going to look into the mouth of a gifted horse. Especially when he is not exactly sure of the full ramification of this gift...

Except knowing it leans more toward priceless than simply precious…

“You were able to pick them up, I think you should keep them… I'm not exactly sure what you could do with them, but the way they feel, and how protective I've always been of my feathers… I don’t know, but I think they might be of some use to you… I do know there is a reason why I have been collecting them since the first one fell. But please don't ask me more information than that about it, for I don’t have a good answer to give to you… More than half of the things that are connected with my wings do not have a real explanation, and there’s no manual for it… Best way I could try to describe it is that everything connected to them is mainly driven by instincts... Desires and emotions dictate what action to take… So I simply follow what feels more _right_ "

Magnus nods his thanks quietly, offering just a small understanding smile. As he walks into the apothecary, he finds himself reaching for a jar he doesn't recall ever owning before, one already labelled angel's feathers… He chuckles softly. Without thinking more on it he stores the feathers in the jar, then hides it on the back of the shelf, far far away from direct view, well hidden from any curious eyes, in a corner that one has to know it exists and has been accepted before from the additional wards around it. As Magnus walks back toward the balcony, where Alec is probably waiting for him, there is one detail that keeps nagging his mind...

He can't stop thinking that the way Alexander describes his wings and the actions connected to them is so very similar to the way young warlocks describe their magic...

But as intriguing as that thought is, at the present time there are more important things to do… Like finally taking care of Alexander's wings, and maybe trying to discover how they got so battered without a fight being involved. Once he gets there he finds Alexander sitting at the end of one of the couches ready to explain what all the bowls and lotions are for. It’s after the quick explanation is done that a tiny bit of awkwardness filters through, he can see his confusion being mirrored on Alexander’s face, neither sure on how to do what needs to be done without breaking boundaries or crossing lines…

Should he take over completely and let Alexander relax the feeling of being taken care of? Would his angel prefer a more utilitarian approach and go instead for the quickest route to healing, dividing the tasks between the two of them? How could he even offer either, or actually any solution without sounding like he would prefer they follow one suggestion over the other?

Magnus bites his lips a little worried about pushing boundaries, but seeing at the insecurity seeping into his angel’s eyes gives him enough courage to suggest tentatively, "how about I start helping you out with your feathers? Clean them, and make sure they are not twisted, should you wish I could attempt some grooming to check if any are loose or painful, all that while you return to take care of the bones, and then we can tackle together the leather part which seems the one needing the most attention?"

The moment Magnus receives a positive answer he starts on his task, wholly unprepared and taken by surprise by their mutual reactions to the grooming...

While it is pretty easy, guessing that for the both of them tending to Alexander's wings is going to be a rather intimate activity. Magnus is not prepared to feel the softness of the feathers under his fingers. Nor to be able to feel gentle curious tendrils of power reaching toward him… 

Feeling the buzzing energy searching for his own magic, having it being invited to come out and play. All that is happening, despite the fact that the cleansing he just went through, should have removed any traces of his magic in the more superficial parts of his hands... It does bring a little bit of comfort and a grin on his lips, hearing the delighted sinful moan escaping Alexander’s lips, at least Magnus is not the only one finding moments of pleasure in this dire situation. Apparently, neither Alec is prepared for the sensations the light touch brings...

Hearing Alexander's moan unlocks a pleasant feeling inside Magnus’s chest, a sense of pride surging into him, knowing he’s the one eliciting such reactions from such very composed man. The whole process is a lot easier than Magnus feared. He uses the towel to clean up the blood and dusty residue from the feathers, cleans the towel in the bowl and starts again… If a feather is twisted he looks closer and gently untwists it turning the feather in the opposite direction until it's sitting properly. 

Each and every one he turns makes Alexander sigh in blissful relief. Magnus still has questions but he can feel the tension slowly leaving Alexander’s body the more his wings are taken care of. It is a little sad realising he never felt the muscles on Alec’s back as relaxed as they are now. Despite having the pleasure of holding a completely melted shadowhunter after a night of intense lovemaking.

The time seems to have reached a standstill, after the initial awkwardness they found a good position. Magnus sitting on the comfortable couch while Alexander slipped on the floor between his legs. Magnus can feel a certain amount of peace in seeing the fast recovering under their combined administrations. It is satisfying and relaxing. 

The gentle curious pull coming from the energy permeating the wings has settled. It still reaches out, in the same way his own magic always reaches out to caress Alexander… It is a completely new experience and feeling finding himself on the other side of a sensation he knows so well. And as it happens, Magnus sort of starts to understand how Alexander could find it so wonderful all the time… It feels to him like a constant flow of acceptance, on such an instinctual and basic level that it doesn't leave any room for doubts or second guessing what one feels.

Magnus sighs softly caressing the last of the now cleaned feathers. The whole feathered segment is finally completely cleaned, groomed and healed. The healing potion has been gently rubbed where the feathers have torn small holes and formed few bruises in the underneath membrane.

The hardest part is tending the leather like part of the wings, cleaning it has removed any of the remaining smell of sickness that is clinging to the wings. Admittedly it is a marvel seeing how quickly the healing potion is closing the tears and repairing the burns. The smell of the potion they are using is different than what Magnus is used to. Once the wings have been treated in their entirety, the first question leaving Magnus's lips is not exactly what he really wants to know the most, but apparently it is the best strategy to keep Alexander feeling at ease...

"That healing potion doesn't smell like a standard one… It has also a different consistency and colour... Is that why it works so well with your wings? Are you brewing it yourself or are you going to someone else?" 

Magnus tries really really hard to not let any potential hurt colouring his tone when he asks about the brewer, hoping against hope that the insecurity of not being trusted with at least that, is not as blaring obvious to Alexander as it is to Magnus's own ears. And apparently he must have failed, for Alexander turns to face him making sure to stay in between Magnus's legs at the same time…

In the moments it takes to get his answer, Magnus can properly appreciate the vision of his angel lounging at his feet… Head resting on his tight looking up at him while strong arms are hugging tenderly his leg, wings spread out relaxing and basking in the glory of being freely revealed… In a brief wishful flight of thoughts, Magnus thinks that he could already picture some unique pieces of jewellery adorning the wings… Making them shine brighter under the soft golden hue of the sun rays... And from then it’s merely the tiniest of turns to imagine, how such jewels would look even more gorgeous under the flashing lights of Pandemonium...

As he looks down he finds Alexander looking at him adoringly, with the patient calm he witnessed that evening they did spend in the company of the nephilim kids. 

Magnus bites his lip a little self conscious, both because of the daydreaming of adorning his loved one with more precious jewels and because clearly, the jealousy about the mysterious brewer had been way too clear for his angel to miss it.

Magnus inclines his head and leans forward to place a loving kiss on Alexander's forehead, only for his shadowhunter to show off... Getting offered instead inviting lips and a mischievous look full of love and promises. After the tender kiss, because of course he’s not going to deny himself, a gentle caress on his knee offers some soothing while Alexander’s words surprise him once more.

"Magnus, no one else but my parents and the silent brothers even know I have wings... It was one member of the brotherhood who taught me how to brew the potion myself... Why did you think I asked your permission to use your apothecary when I basically started to live here?"

The curiosity in Alec's voice is genuine and Magnus looks down sheepishly, no longer able to look into those searching eyes as he answers honestly. "I thought you were just humouring me, more a curiosity of what I could do for my work, maybe a desire to sit and watch, or if you were really trying to make me even more interested in you mayhaps attempt some of the simpler potions that do not require magic to be brewed..." Just as the words leave his mouth he freezes. His yes flies up to carefully study Alexander, for the first time seeing a mystery to be solved... "Wait a second… I know it smells, looks and probably not only tastes but also acts in a different way than a normal healing potion. But none of the ones I know of, that could be modified to reach this result would be able to be brewed without magic… If you are brewing it yourself how is it possible for you to obtain a working potion rather than a liquid mixture of wasted ingredients?"

At this point it seems it's Alexander's turn to look down unable to keep looking into his eyes… He can feel he has just stumbled on something important. Something that Alec is debating if or how much to share… 

After having lucked out and received forgiving for the unpardonable act of forcing a mark's revelation, Magnus is still feeling the shame and guilt his own action brought to him. So he is more than ready to backpedal and quickly take back the question. Which is why Magnus hastily continues speaking. "You don't have to share it with me, Darling, I’m sorry I’ve asked, I know I’m the luckiest man alive. You surprised me once again with your kindness… You forgave me and let me stay despite my horrible action against you. I seriously never expected it could happen… Please believe me when I say it was never my intention to take away your choice… I don’t wish at all for you to take what is just curiosity as a demand for answers. I mean it when I say that you don't owe me anything Sayang"

Alexanders looks at him confused, one hand raised to caress Magnus's cheek, Alec's thumb gently caressing Magnus's lips reverently

"Magnus…? I think we are both missing vital pieces of information that are clearly important. But that could be something so natural for us we wouldn’t even think it worthy of being mentioned. Something we’d consider such common knowledge, we never talked about..."

Magnus blinks, extremely confused and feeling stunned, so he asks softly "What do you mean?" His focus getting captured by Alexander's lips being bitten in a nervous gesture he observed before.

"Magnus, exactly how many shadowhunters have you ever dated? I’m not talking about having sex, I mean really dated… Get to know them, learning things that would be important in Nephilim culture… I mean walking the whole mile or as far along the road as you ever did before me...?"

Magnus flinches and tries to put more space between himself and Alexander's hurtful words... Only for the hand caressing his face to move toward the back of his neck and keeping him from moving away. It hurts like he never thought possible having Alexander demonstrating he wasn't listening to him in the past… He did share this information before… However despite his words clearly betraying exactly how hurt he is, he still answers harshly. "I told you from the very beginning you are a first for me too Alexander" 

Magnus doesn't realise right away why Alec doesn't flinch away at being reminded of his lack of attention… At any lack of reaction from his lover the hurt is slowly morphing into upset, and when he is starting to get ready for a real rant Alexander's words freeze him on the spot like a bucket of ice thrown at him carelessly.

"That's exactly my point Magnus, how much do you know of what is expected by nephilim standard when a couple dates? Or what is considered too intimate to ask? Do you know how a marriage or even a relationship get acknowledged in the eyes of nephilim society?”

Magnus blinks completely stunned and confused. All the winds drained away from his sails… And then looking down Alexander is still here, still keeping him close, still looking at him with love, compassion and patience... Magnus can’t recall the last time any of his lovers has ever been able to make him feel rather young, foolish and certainly a lot less world savvy than he should be after all his years walking this Earth…

His friends? Yes plenty of times, even in recent years… Ragnor especially is a champion at making Magnus feels that way. But none of his previous lovers ever did… And having to give the only answer Magnus has is a hard pill to swallow that leaves a foul aftertaste on his tongue.

"I- I don't know..."

The realisation hits him like an entire city block worth of bricks. The implications sending his mind reeling in overdrive. Scenarios upon horrible scenarios, building inside his mind, twisting and turning every single action taken in all their times together. A sudden wave of anxiety making him wonder... Just _how many_ things _has he done_ irreparably wrong to damage Alexander's name and reputation? And all that due to ignorance... Because Magnus knows himself, he is sure he did something wrong along the way, it’s just a matter of how much damage control is needed, if any is at all possible…

"Have I been a problem for you?" 

It's less than a blink of an eye after the words left his mouth that Magnus feels like a complete idiot. Because of course he is a problem for Alexander… If nothing else, for at least three things he can’t really change: his gender, his race and his name… All the things that make Magnus himself, are things that could be problematic for Alexander. It was the very reason why they both had reservations and doubts in the beginning, before they decided to seriously commit themselves to their relationship. 

A male warlock with a very male shadowhunter would have been a dalliance the Clave could turn a blind eye to… Them making it official, and furthermore doing so while both of them have an important political role both within each other societies and within the Shadow World at large... That was probably less appreciate, to put it delicately.

Magnus starts to hyperventilate, a panic attack sneaking upon him, it had been so long since the last time it happened, many decades now, and for it to also happen in front of Alexander... After he forced a reveal... Realising that most likely he is the reason why a lot of bad things could happen to the one he loves… 

It's all too much… He can't breathe, he can't think.. He can't even see anymore what's in front of his eyes... Everything is no longer focused… He knows he’s slipping into his mind, where all the voices are going to chant over and over and over again all his failings and faults. A chorus of reasons why there's no way Alexander will want to stay with him… Why he’s always too much and yet not enough at the same time, why no one finds him worthy to just choose _him_ _and stay_... Why everyone else leaves, why no one would ever be a monster too powerful for its own good, for anyone's good. A pitiful clingy man that doesn't have enough to share... Always too much and never good enough at the same time over and over again every time he tries...

Then everything is suddenly still and blissfully silent, shivers run through his back. Something warm and rigid is tapping on his back. Someone is touching his cheek, a slow and steady murmur is encouraging him to breath. To follow a hypnotic rhythm of _breath in, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and breath out, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and start again…_ Like a dance. 

It takes a couple of repetition and Magnus eyes can finally start to focus and see Alexander's face again… His beloved angel, still here… Still looking at him with the same love and affection as he did before the disaster that has been today... Still an unwavering presence despite Magnus fumbling and stumbling with every step…

A rock, an anchor, steady and sure when the storm is raging inside his mind, within his own heart and all around him as well...

For now he is safe in the arms of his angel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to _The Talk_ the boys soo desperately need, keeping with the switching pov this time we'll see things through Alec's eyes.
> 
> This is a reminder that there are possible triggers in this chapter. Please stay safe.  
> 
> 
> **TW: mention of Panic Attack,  
>  explicit self recrimination,  
> low self esteem,  
> self deprecation  
> mention of selective mutism under stress,  
> internalized guilt, tiny bit of anxiety  
> unintentional self harm  
> **

Alec recognises all the signs of a panic attack starting to appear in Magnus’s behaviour. In a way it's disconcerting seeing someone so strong getting lost in their own mind... Even more saddening is knowing that most likely it has been his own fault… 

He really is terrible with words...

Either he chokes on the most important ones, or he ends up making a mess every single time he is not playing the political game. 

Why is he so incompetent that he can’t correctly share any words on what is beautiful and precious to him? Why does he always end up doing more damage than good when all he wanted was explaining himself? 

It is so frustrating… While he can totally manage to be the rock for someone else, be their stronghold in the midst of a storm. Alec always, always ends up feeling soo much like a leaf thrown in the midst of the hurricane… Never quite in the middle of it, where everything is quiet, always on the fringe, ready to be sent where the wind desires. Unable to hold on anything, because all around everything is crashing and floating just as he is.

But now it's not the time to get lost, now that Magnus is here physically in his arms, safely encircled by his wings… His wings that are now out in the open, and they feel soo magnificent. Yet this wonderful feeling is tainted by the knowledge that Magnus’s mind is so far away from the present at the moment. 

Magnus is not breathing, and the only thing Alec knows how to do, is trying to ground the love of his life, using the dancing routine rhythm Magnus seems so familiar with: breath in, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and breath out, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and start again… 

Over and over again, until his own wings start to twitch following the same rhythm, the bones tapping gently Magnus’s back while Alec's hands touch Magnus's skin. Trying to get closer... To warm up Magnus's shaking body. To somehow find a way to stop the trembling and shivering. Find a way for Alec to make his presence known. Wishing and praying silently for the eyes Alec loves so much to stop being unfocused, seeing the intelligent spark returning and shine in them… 

It is a scary experience for Alec to see Magnus, who has such a firm grip on the here and now, getting lost so deep inside Magnus’s own mind… Even more so when Alec knows there isn't exactly much more he could do than what he is already doing... 

Breath in, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and breath out, two, three, four, five, six, seven and hold, two, three, four, five, and start again… Over and over again, following the same pattern. Alec grounds himself on the calming heartbeat under his palm, one real thing he can keep track of.

Magnus's eyes are starting to return focused, they are finally starting to see Alec and not whatever horror the mind has conjured for his beloved. The only thing Alec can try to offer as an apology is his love and affection. Praying that it would be enough, hoping that having kept his wings a secret won't break them apart. Wishing that the discussion they are going to have sooner rather than later won't be the reason why he'll end up losing the only place Alec has ever called home...

Alec doesn't have to search for all the little things he allowed himself to bring over, slowly worming his place in the loft... Holding on tightly to the only relationship he will ever have no matter how things will work out...

Because Alec knows his nephilim heart. He knows that despite not openly show it, he has a soft side able to unconditionally love the people he calls his own, but only one shot at being _in love_...

He is too much of a hopeless romantic to ever believe in the practice of arranged marriages… Alec is ok with taking the risk of giving away his heart just for it to be discarded, no longer wanted… But Alec also believes he knows Magnus. In all their time together he has seen many sides of the warlock, and none of them talked about cruelty for cruelty’s sake, misleading trickery or a clear chew 'em up and spit 'em out attitude the Clave's files love to paint about _all_ downworlders. 

Of course, during the many centuries Magnus has been alive, the warlock might have done things that for today's sensibilities would be considered cruel, handed down judgements and taken actions that might be considered too harsh or overreactions... From a _shadowhunter's_ point of view... But Alec is sure that even then none of them had ever been done out of spite, nor for the sole sake of satisfying Magnus's personal agenda...

In fact, as far as Alec could see, Magnus's ‘ _agenda_ ’, if it could even be called that way, is nothing more than wanting to see Magnus's own family safe and happy... Not exactly something he could ever find in himself to judge. Not when Alec too would rather destroy himself than let any kind of harm touch his family.

He can finally see recognition shining behind the thin veil of tears still obfuscating Magnus's eyes. He murmurs softly "I'm here Magnus, my love let me take care of you."

While he feels hesitant inside, Alec knows that the last thing Magnus needs right now is feeling any insecurity from him. Alec notices how, Magnus's still bared fingers, dig into Alec's arms and shoulders, holding on for dear life, like Alec is a safe line in the midst of a storm.

And if he needs to be the strong one this one time... Then it is Alec's honour and privilege to be the one Magnus can feel safe enough to be so vulnerable and open. It truly is a rare and precious gift, one Alec intends to treasure for as long as he’s allowed.

Sure seeing the other side of a panic attack is neither easy nor pretty, but at least Alec has an idea on what's going on and what might, hopefully, help Magnus, at least a little...

He lets his hand squeeze back on Magnus's shoulder, then Alec makes sure to keep the both of them within the cocoon created on instinct by his now healed wings. Alec carefully directs Magnus to their bedroom and then toward the bed. Once Magnus is safely seated on his side of the bed, Alec starts to step back only for a strangled “no” to escape Magnus's lips, both hands holding tightly on Alec's shirt. He smiles softly and places a placating kiss on Magnus's lips. Then like it's the most natural thing of this world he presses himself on top of Magnus's body gently guiding them both higher on the bed. One of his wings sliding under the blankets trying to push them to the side. Once he's secure in their stable position on the bed, he slides from being on top of Magnus to rest on his side of the bed, still holding Magnus in his arms...

Alec smiles softly and places a loving kiss on Magnus's forehead... The relieved sighs that escape Magnus's kissable lips is enough to make Alec alert. Willing to do all he can possibly do, to restore the sense of security and safe feeling in Magnus. It has been a blessing for Alec, discovering that even on a regular day, Magnus needs the physical contact almost as much as he does.

The need only seemed to increase once they are both tiredly laying down. He can feel the darkness coming closer and his own eyelids getting heavier, he tugs their sheets snuggling closer to the centre of the bed where Magnus is curled up as well. 

The wards in the loft are tighter than ever, he knows that they are safe, and with that thought in mind Alec lets go of the last vestige of consciousness he still has after the emotional rollercoast. Alec wraps his wings around the both of them and holds onto a now sleeping Magnus for dear life, the world can wait just for a while…

It is a few hours later that he can feel himself regaining consciousness, Magnus's slightly agitated movement is identified as the reason why Alec woke up. 

With a tired sigh, Alec holds onto the warm embrace, nuzzling his face pleadingly against Magnus’s neck. He hopes that Magnus is still in that beautiful half awake, half asleep moment, where some more cuddles are all it takes to grab at least another half an hour of sleep and rest... 

Unfortunately Magnus is completely alert and seems to soak in the gentle touches and small kisses with an uncharacteristic hesitancy, Magnus's body language is contradictory, tense as if it is the last time Magnus gets to be in Alec's arms and yet still leaning forward to get as much love as possible... Alec, still exhausted from the whole ordeal, moves slowly from the neck toward the lips, leaving a trail of wet kisses along Magnus's skin. Alec's still half asleep mind is registered that something is off, but the bone deep exhaustion pushes Alec to at least attempt the fairytale solution of wishing it better with a kiss...

Once Alec's lips reach their destination he could feel himself melting in the sensation... He sighs happily and plants a loving kiss on top of Magnus's lips hoping that it will be enough distraction. Alec wishes to stop the threatening cloud of dark thoughts. He could feel them looming closer, making their way into Magnus's mind, slowly stiffening Magnus's whole body... However, apparently, his lovely tactic is not working. Something must have taken hold on Magnus’s gentle soul. For all his hedonistic reputation, Magnus doesn't let himself be distracted as easily as one would assume. They are still under both the blanket and his wings, safe and sound from anything going on in the outside world.

Alec really cannot find in himself the will to care about whatever else he is probably supposed to do right now instead of lounging in bed with his still tense lover. In this moment Alec doesn’t give a flying about anything outside the lovely warm bubble he created for Magnus and himself. As long as he can grab only a few more minutes of sleep and succeeds to take away from Magnus’s mind any shadow of doubt on his desire to stay exactly where he is, then he’s going to be happy. Just this once, for just a tiny little longer...

Even if Alec wants desperately to indulge, having Magnus’s body still so rigid and tense while in his arms is unsettling. And as the seconds tick by Alec slowly come to the realization that Magnus is not going to succumb to the perfectly delicious plan he has in mind. Alec is still very much tempted to beg and bargain more kisses and cuddles in exchange for more time in each other's embrace, staying away from anything else, problems being the very first thing on the list of things to avoid, just for a tiny bit longer... However, once the strain of being so tense and rigid makes Magnus's body start trembling Alec knows that is out of the cards now, he can't let Magnus face whatever is creating this tenseness alone. 

So with a soft sigh, Alec tries to blink away the tiredness from his eyes. It takes a lot of effort and even more willpower to try to remove the cobwebs from his mind. A small voice on the back of his head still protests, begging for just five more minutes. Because what is waiting for him when he does rejoin the world of the alive and awaken, it’s painful and it is going to hurt so bad…

There is no shame in hiding in here for a little longer… However while not shameful, it is lonely when Magnus keeps slipping away, putting more distance between them... And isn’t that a feat considering the limited space under his wings? Wings that are not touching Magnus’s back, the same way Alec's own body is no longer touching Magnus. That is unacceptable… 

As Alec starts to show signs of fully waking up, Magnus gets instantaneously still, apparently even more careful in making sure they are not touching at all. Alec sights softly paying attention to not let his frustration at the lack of contact bleed through his words and giving Magnus wrong ideas…

"Magnus, please tell me, what is making you get so still and tense? We are in our bed, we were cuddling, and there is nothing calling and demanding our attention... Please..." Alec hums quietly and hopes, really hopes that the vibrations might invite either some calmness or even better some more sleep… Unfortunately between the two of them Magnus is the one that can more successfully impersonate a cat, with the heart melting purrs and the all encompassing love demonstrated in a single look or with a single touch.

Magnus is still non verbal and looks so scared that it’s making Alec feel more confused than ever before… Because as far as Alec knows nothing has happened to justify this reaction. If it was a nightmare usually there are other tellings that are missing this time... And despite having seen Magnus non verbal during the panic attack from before their nap, there should not have been anything that could trigger another one...

Unless Alec himself is now a trigger and his wings really are a problem... But Magnus never lied to him... Right? Magnus said it was ok, but maybe it was the fact he hadn't shared them sooner? But this far the only fight he and Magnus had had words and raised voices... Unless this is the end and Magnus doesn't know how to break it gently to Alec...

Hiding any sign of the fears running in his head Alec slowly drags himself upward sitting while taking Magnus face in his hands. Their foreheads touching and Alec's wings twitching impatiently as they curl tighter around them gently forcing Magnus closer into Alec’s lap.

"Magnus, my love, my heart. Please talk to me. Look at me in the eyes, it's just us... There's no one else here, there is nothing wrong, not that I know of at least... But if you think something is wrong then we need to talk it out, see how we can figure out a solution... I refuse to lose you in silence, without a fight… Please don’t let go of me..."

The nods he receives from Magnus has to be enough. He does understand that until he can either provoke a reaction or make Magnus comfortable enough to speak it's going to be a game of twenty questions, so he starts with the basics. "Do you know I love you?” That question has the double benefit of one, stating once again that he loves Magnus, and two, make his partner huff and smile a little, something they both need right now… As he predicted indeed Magnus huffs and half laugh in response, the little barely audible ‘yeah’ is all the verbal confirmation Alec needs to continue after nodding to himself. “Ok can you tell me what is scaring you so much?” Magnus eyes start to water and Magnus's body grows tense once more, Alec has been waiting with all his focus on his partner, as soon as he sees those signs he tries again with a different question instead. “Is this about the nephilim traditions I mentioned earlier?"

Alec gets another affirmative response, but for what he can remember there was something going on even before that came up. He can feel that despite this point being important, it is not the real crux of the problem. And Alec does fear his fears are justified and are going to be validated before becoming reality. He can feel his own throat constricting, making words harder to pass through. Taking a difficult breath Alec whispers brokenly, “is it about the wings?”

The nod he receives is a sharp one, and Magnus is the first to break eye contact refusing to look at him. It is like an arrow hitting him through his heart. Alec can’t understand how anyone would ever consider this kind of sensation a good representation of romantic feelings. It’s making him tremble and it just hurts. Hopefully the question was open enough that he is misunderstanding? It wouldn’t be the first time right? Alec is feeling the desperate battle between his fears, his hopes and the logical voice of his mind. But as always it’s better to face the worst case scenario first. So he aims directly for the biggest guns he can think of, as the words leave his mouth he hopes for this to be a shot in the dark that misses the target by a mile or more...

"Do you hate me for keeping them a secret?" This time Alec is the one unable to keep trying to enforce the eye contact. His head bowed down, eyes shut tightly as he waits. He waits for the words that are going to tell him, if he has just screwed up in an irreparable way… That his best isn’t good enough... That indeed his fears were right, he has just lost in a single moment both his one love and the place he calls home… The silence that seems to stretch into infinity in Alec's mind gets suddenly broken by Magnus’s sharp denial.

"No Alexander, I'm just ashamed of myself… I can't understand either how you could be so forgiving, or if there's going to be a price to pay later on. If this mercy you’re showing now, is going to cost me an unbearable price in the future… I know in your shoes I wouldn’t stand such betrayal and I would be even less able to stay still so close to the disgusting betrayer… Look. I know we deal with things in different ways. But I can’t stop worrying about what’s going to be the price to pay for you to stay, I’m afraid because I know I can’t lose you. It's terrifying realising that there’s no price that would be too high to pay if it results with have you still in my life."

Alec looks up startled and confused, being totally thrown off balance by what Magnus just said. Alec looks into Magnus’s face taking note of the tense lines, he searches Magnus's eyes trying to find anything that could clue him in on what's actually going on right now, without any success. "Magnus? You have said something similar more than once now, and I'm still nowhere near closer to understand what is the problem? What is it that’s so unforgivable that you supposedly have done? For nothing comes up in my mind."

Magnus looks away but reaches for Alec's hand and takes it, Alec lets out a grateful sigh, this is the first touch that Magnus has initiated since things went downhill earlier. At least Magnus is not shutting him out completely. Alec listens grateful when Magnus starts speaking again. "You know it is considered rude to enquire about a warlock's mark?"

He nods and hums his understanding of what’s being said. Alec knows that much, even if he still can’t see where this is going. So he makes a carry on gesture to Magnus signalling he is listening but also that he still requires more information. "While asking about a mark is considered rude, not showing the proper respect about another person’s preference, on whether to reveal their mark or not, is considered one of the reasonable causes to demand a justified duel..."

Alec takes a deep breath at that, not liking the sound of it one bit. Especially when put in the context of beings who have had centuries to collect knowledge and learn the best way to do the most damage with minimal efforts… Alec waits a few more moments to see if Magnus will add more to it. When he’s met with only silence Alec finds himself asking, "what is a justified duel?"

Magnus blinks confused and looks searchingly in Alec’s expression. Ana Alec can see the surprised confusion echoing on Magnus’s face. It is crystal clear the moment when realisation starts to descend in Magnus’s mind, that maybe they are both having two different conversations here… That maybe, just maybe there really is a concrete possibility that there are things the other doesn't know which indeed are basic knowledge… Things that even children of their own races know because it’s something they have been told while growing up… 

He can see from the way Magnus’s eyes are searching him, that his lover’s quick intellect is rapidly reassessing the situation trying to not get lost in the heartbreaking discovery. Alec's hand twitches, the desire to reach out and offer Magnus comfort is burning. But the fear that any small movement could spook Magnus back into silence is what's keeping Alec still and waiting. When Magnus carries on Alec gently squeezes Magnus's hand in his.

"A justified duel is a fight to defend one's honour, that could go as far as considered necessary to amend the offence given.” Alec nods to that and hums softly, doing some reevaluation of his own trying to figure out how that applies to their situation and still coming out short. Despite being usually eager to explain and talk about thing Magnus is being rather succinct right now. Which in and on itself is a clue, but still not enough. So Alec keeps asking, "Ok, and are those duels acceptable also if the offence was given or received from different races?"

Magnus nods once more, but the huffed tone Magnus's words take during the explanation clue in Alec that the subject is one rather important for a warlock... A subject that Alec didn't even know of its existence...

"Of course they are, the whole point of such duels is exactly that, to correct a damage received. Anyone respecting warlocks' traditions should take part in it and accept any consequences to make amends for the offence or grievance given. The other choice is to declare themselves unwilling to respect our traditions and receive a lifetime ban from doing any kind of transactions with any warlock. Either until the individual’s death or the time when they bow down to the judgement and make amends. There is also the fact that the higher the status of the offender and the offended, the higher are the stakes" 

Magnus starts fidgeting a little, playing with their sheets, stalling a little in what has taken the tone of an academic lecture. Things are finally starting to become at least a little clearer on how serious the duel and its rules are. However Alec is still confused about why it would apply to the two of them… The thinking look on his face must have carried on at least some signs of Alec's confusion, for Magnus starts again. “In my position, I should have known better but I really didn't know Alec. I swear I can give you a magical oath there was no offence meant... I"

Alec shakes his head slowly and cuts through the apology by gently raising his hand to cup Magnus's face, Alec's thumb gently caressing Magnus's cheek "ok tell me something if the two parties involved are married would that make any difference? I mean in how the situation gets handled." Magnus blinks surprised and nods slowly almost shyly. 

"Well, in that case there wouldn't really be a problem if there was already a bond… It wouldn't be at all a situation of removing the choice whether the mark would be shared of not, merely a possible misunderstanding on timing, usually solved with some grovelling and soon forgiven without public shame or consequences... but Alec.."

Taking a leaf from Magnus's own book Alec places a raised finger in front of Magnus's lips. Asking silently for a moment of quiet, that Magnus promptly gives despite having eyes filled with surprise and uncertainty. "Ok now tell me this, as far as warlock customs and culture goes… If I acknowledged you, our relationship and our union, let’s say with a kiss. In front of all the delegates from my culture, and in front of witnesses from all other races… Like I don't know, the members of the downworld cabinet, present when I made us official during the Clave function hosted at the Institute. Would you say that such settings could be considered public and official enough for me to claim you as my partner?”

Alec looks patiently and waits for Magnus's confirmation before continuing. He already knows this, but apparently Raphael was right. It was not a matter of not informing Alec, but more about the fact that Magnus hadn’t realized their current status either. When Magnus acquiescent Alec carries on. 

“Now, keeping in mind your warlock customs, and general downworld politics. Would you say that if you were to single me out during a court night, choosing to come and dance just with me. And in the little free time that you had, talk to me, kissing me in front of my family, and the many downworlders of all factions present there… Would you agree that those actions would be considered a declaration and recognition of our relationship as well, in what is your home ground... And that once you took me back to be present during the very last of your meeting, you would at that point in time acknowledge publicly also our union?"

Magnus's eyes have gone wilder and wider as the explanation slips out out of his lips. Alec can feel the tension growing into absolute stillness and he can read the flash of panic appearing into Magnus's face. "I-I didn't mean to. Oh Magic, I'm so so sorry Alec I -"

Hearing the words is freezing the blood in Alec’s veins. A little ball of fear is rapidly growing in his stomach curling up towards his throat. He can start feeling every muscle of his neck tensing, a growing stone that's going to block both air entering his lungs and words from coming out of his mouth… 

In the one moment he can't afford for it to happen, not when the both of them are on the verge of bolting away and building up their defences stronger than ever… He can't stomach the mere idea of it happening, he shakes his head and forces the words to pass through his throat, almost spitting them out.

"You don't want to?" 

He wants to ask better, but the words stubbornly are not getting out of his mouth but are simply bouncing uselessly around in his head. He can feel the tears of frustration welling into his eyes, while Magnus too is looking on the verge of being trapped again inside the nightmare conjured by Magnus's own mind. 

Alec can't talk but he will be damned if he's going to let their past ruin this, this is their bed, their sanctuary, this is their safe haven away from the horror of the world. He refuses to accept this helplessness, cold and fear belonging in here. Alec already knows and he has been shown that this whole mess is the result of miscommunication and misunderstandings. And that means that if Magnus, with thousand of relationships under Magnus's belt, still hasn't caught up on the issue, it's up to Alec himself to solve it for the both of them.

Words may fail Alec when it’s about the things most precious and important to him personally, but he still has his body… Alec _knows_ Magnus and himself share a personal language they both understand and find comfort in, made of soft touches and relaxed bodies, of hot kisses and frantic movements. He knows that every time Magnus's head rests on Alec's chest after he returns home injured. The quiet gesture of seeking the small comfort of hearing Alec's heart beating, a reassurance that they are both still here…

Alec grabs the back of Magnus head, maybe in his desperation a little more forcefully than usual. His hand holding almost painfully on the messy hair and closing his eyes he crashes a desperate kiss on Magnus's lips holding Magnus closer. Alec lets his wings tighten around them, not leaving any room for Magnus to move away… Wanting to make it absolutely clear that he's not going to let Magnus walk away from him, not this time. Not unless that's what Magnus really wants... But if that is the case then dammit, Magnus can make it clear and be the one walking away...

This time Alec is not going to be considerate, there is too much at stake, and this was supposed to be a happy moment, something sweet, gentle like a flower blooming. As usual words have failed him, he made a mess, but he knows Magnus usually can understand him anyway… And he has come to depend on that, probably too much, because clearly right now Magnus is not able to listen beyond the mess Alec made of his words. 

So he sneaks his other arm around Magnus's back and holding on tightly Alec turns to lay flat on his back, leaving Magnus resting on top of Alec, wings still curled tight abound them, gently pressing on Magnus's back. As much as Alec wants to, and hopes for Magnus choosing to stay rather than leave him, he can't find in himself the will to try trapping or attempt to cage the beautiful being that is Magnus Bane. Alec doesn’t want Magnus to grow to resent and hate him for being chained to a clingy coward like _Alec_ … 

But He is more than willing to hold on as tight as he can until the very end. Alec keeps his eyes closed. Both their breathing harsh, edging with uncertainties. There is nothing else to do for now except trying to adjust himself, making sure to feel the full weight of Magnus's presence for as long as possible. Learning and memorising every single detail should this be the last time he is allowed to have Magnus in his arms.

Alec keeps heir lips touching desperately, his heart racing and breaking with every second Magnus stays frozen. His mind screaming and begging for Magnus to just stay, to please stay with him. His wings reacting to his desperation start twitching and flapping closer, creating a trembling boned cage around Magnus's back, one claw carefully caressing Magnus's cheek.

And finally Alec can start to hope, the defences and walls Magnus has erected in a matter of moments crumble down and Magnus has not made a move to leave yet... Magnus's eyes become clearer and more focused on Alec, and Alec can see the light in them change. There is no longer the fear of rejection in Magnus's eyes, just the sorrow and heartbreak of seeing just how much they can affect each other.

When Magnus finally kisses him back Alec feels like a wave of cool magic sweeping through him taking away the uncertainties sitting in his mind earlier. Alec knows Mangus wouldn't toy with him. In his moment of relief he almost missed Magnus's soft whisper.

"Alexander" It's just a single word, just his name... But murmured in the space between their breaths, it's filled with so much love and longing, that not even a thousand I love you could ever express.

And when his face is taken with care and tenderness in Magnus's hands, Alec can finally breathe. He can see that they are getting there. They will get through this too. Taking a deep breath Alec lets himself relax, his wings easing and slowly retracting, leaving Magnus to rest like a blanket on top of him.

Alec's equally soft and loving "Magnus" is welcomed with a gentle if not slightly watery smile, before Magnus leans forward and lets their foreheads touch again. They both exhale the fear in a shuddered breath. Alec’s voice comes out steadier than he thought it would as Alec continues, "we need to talk, but no more scares please."

The nod he receives comes easily and it reassures Alec. He licks his lips and he starts once more, a little unsure. "I'm sorry I made a mess, you know I'm not good with words about things that are beautiful and precious to me, I just wanted you to realise what I already know. You were so freaked out about the wings... I was just trying to make you see that you shouldn't and to be honest I was going to talk to you about them at some point, I promise I wasn't going to keep them a secret forever…”

Magnus looks half exasperated, half amused, but at least still unmoving from laying on Alec's chest "Darling… You thought that cluing me in on the fact that as far as the whole downworld is concerned we are married, would have made me feel better about forcing a reveal, when both things happened without your explicit consent...? Excuse me if I ended up taking the news badly Sayang, but I never wanted to actually take your choices from you, _**that**_ is the unforgivable part."

Magnus looks down but unlike before, gladly neither of them move further once Magnus's hand has found its way and is now resting on Alec's chest feeling his heartbeat while Alec's had mirrored the same action and is now resting on top of Magnus's heart, both drawing comfort from the steady beats. 

"Magnus as far as I've understood I might actually have been the one starting it all... And believe me when Raphael cornered me to explain things. You can bet it took a little bit to readjust my understanding of the situation. But as far as I am concerned this simply made official something that would have happened in the future... Maybe I would have aimed for the whole thing to have a little more wooing and a better proposal. I'll admit that much… But if this is not what you wanted I am sorry. I-I know that I'm just temporary in your life, so you might not exactly want to tie yourself to me for the rest of my life... If you want to make something to break this out, just just let me know? We can find a solution. Together?”

The confusion on Magnus's face morphs to incredulity and worry, feeling the panic rising in Alec as he’s being betrayed by his own rising heartbeat. It really is a surprise that Magnus can manage to keep a voice steady enough when looking so utterly shocked. "You- you wanted us to get married, at least eventually?"

Alec nods trying to coax his breathing into a normal pattern, "yeah... You didn't?" Alec bites his lips because he completely hates how vulnerable and small he feels in asking that, and he doesn't know exactly how to take the tears in Magnus’s eyes, are tears ever a good sign? Alec doesn’t know... Fortunately Magnus explains, and at least that eases Alec's worries at least a little.

"I would have loved that if you had asked me Alexander the chance to live the rest of your life together, call you my husband, no one had ever wanted to marry me, I've always been either too much or not enough… Sometimes both at the same time… Alexander, Sayang, you have to understand this… Marks are a sensitive subject for us warlocks, they are usually a reminder of horrible things.

The reason why very few of us have been willing to work with Institutes and shadowhunters, both in the past and currently, is that until very recently there was an enforced anti glamour ward in place in every Institute… Some marks can easily be hidden, others are more visible, it doesn't really matter. It still remains an individual choice whether to reveal it or not, it's a matter of consent... You didn't consent to it, I took the choice away from you and that, that is a big deal."

Alec's own eyes fill with love and some understanding despite confusion still being the predominant feeling. "But you forget I'm not a warlock Magnus, I do appreciate your concern about me, but you have seen how the shadowhunters are inside the Institute. There is no body shame, everything is pretty much in the open all the time… It's not really a matter of consent, it's a matter of practicality for shadowhunters, you just don't hide something that could hurt you or the others..." 

Instead of being taken as the reassuring words they are meant to be, Magnus simply looks at him unamused and unimpressed. And that really puzzles Alec because he just doesn't get what's so weird or not so clear in what he is saying. Magnus's tone while still be gentle is a little bit chiding.

"Darling if what you just said is true, then why no one seems to know about your wings? Or those too are _kept in the open_? Because weirdly enough, I've never heard Jace nor Isabelle mentioning them even once."

Alec flinches and bites his lower lip, he sighs softly unsure how to explain it. Because, well his wings are just _different_ it is not the same thing it really isn't... It's just it's easier and better this way.

“Ok, maybe my wings are sort of an exception to the rule, but not for the reasons you might think... I mean my parents obviously know about them." As Alec lets slide that little piece of information he can't stop the involuntary sagging and twitching the wings do, scurrying closer to his body as if to hide away trembling in fear of yet another possible rejection. "They weren't exactly impressed, nor pleased by their looks so it was just easier for me to not flaunt their presence."

Alec takes another deep breath avoiding eye contact and continues, "it also didn't help that I was very young then. And all the stories the Silent brothers let me read on other winged nephilim like me. Either they were persecuted before they could do what they were supposed to, or at least rumoured to have done, or they just kept the wings hidden until the right time to..." 

Alec hesitates in the narration, not because he thinks he shouldn't tell Magnus, but because he's afraid it will actually sound pompous, the classical arrogant nephilim’s ego with delusions of grandeur… And that is leaving an awful taste in his mouth. Magnus looks at him tenderly before resting on Alec's shoulder and placing small kisses all along his neck, taking the time to nibble and leaving new marks on the deflect rune. Magnus’s next words are murmured on his skin, almost like a delicate secret. 

“I’ve the feeling I probably won't like knowing for sure, but did they make a big deal of your wings? Your parents I mean, they have never seemed… the forgiving sorts.”

Alec sighs softly and tries to shrug, movement quite difficult to do while still pinned under Magnus. "They had... Mixed reactions I guess. They were ecstatic in the beginning, probably more about the fact that I was supposedly destined to do great things, bring up a new era... Those were the words the Silent Brothers told my parents when they had initially asked if removing the wings was an option…" Alec can feel Magnus freezing at the implication, the mention of that probably hitting a little too close to home… The history of violence perpetrated by shadowhunters and the disgusting sport of collecting marks, still too close for the memory of an immortal… Or maybe it’s the thoughts of parents seriously considering to do the same thing to their own child… After all it seems Magnus is really comparing his wings to a warlock mark… So all he can do is try to reassure his partner.

"I don't think they would have truly done that to me Magnus. And it never happened, so there's nothing to be sad about...” And yet once more his words are not enough to erase the pained look in Magnus's exposed cat's eyes. Pain that carries into Magnus’s words.

"They might not have pushed for their physical removal, but the fact that no one else knows about them tells me a different story Sayang…”

Alec smiles softly and starts to gently play with Magnus's hair as Alec shakes his head negating Magnus' suspicious. "It's not like that, Magnus. In the beginning, my parents asked me to hide the wings so that my siblings wouldn't feel left out, to not let them believe they weren't special in their own unique ways… My parents initially treated the wings as a sign that they could expect great things from me, that I was somehow blessed by the angels… However when the bones never got covered in skin. When the feathers never expanded further nor were the pure white expected from angels… Well that was the moment they started to call them abhorrent and disgusting… It was clearly a sign that I am defective… Unfortunately as far as the Silent Brothers's records go, no one before me ever had anything but birdlike white feathered wings… I-I did search for years, there are no descriptions of similar wings for nephilim... but.."

Alec takes a moment to distract himself from the echoes of the past, because the memory is still as terrifying now as it was back then. Magnus looks at him and gently tugs the curled wings to unfurl, to either lay more comfortably spread on the bed or to invite them around the both of them Alec is not sure. But he is sure of the love and affection he can hear in Magnus's words. He can feel it in Magnus's relaxed body and read it in Magnus's eyes.

"I love your wings Alexander, they are a marvel, just like you… I’ll never get tired of saying this, but you keep surprising me… Your wings are simply one more proof of how unlike everyone else you are. And I’ve told you before, you _are_ different and it’s a good thing"

Alec's breath is rugged when he blurts out “I saw bony wings at Lightwood manor when I was a kid. When we still were going back to Idris… You know when I got close to them, they buzzed like the feathers I keep in my box... I still have vivid nightmares about them, almost like memories, they felt like a warning, I was soo scared it would happen to me… After a while it became just easier to keep them out of sight, my parents were like... It seemed to help things along, out of sight out of mind… I was treated a little less like a disappointment if they were forgetting how high their hopes were for me, and how much I just didn’t measure up to their expectations… It’s just…”

Alec licks his lips and lets his eyes wander searching for anything he could use as an excuse to be distracted... And Magnus’s lips are so close, it would take only a small movement to just close the gap between them. Taking a fortifying breath Alec to find the courage to complete the interrupted sentence. Because Alec knows that if he goes for distraction now there might not be a second chance to talk things through anytime soon. And Alec does know taht they both desperately need to talk things out. 

“I didn't want to risk mine to end up on a wall... I, I'm not sure I could survive without them, and I don't even know whether I'm speaking literally in here or not… And I wasn't that ready to test out that theory nor my parents' willingness to get rid of them. So yeah I just kept them quiet… Then Jace happened, and it would have been pretty difficult to explain their sudden appearance anyway, not with all the attitude that was going on back then…”

Magnus nods his understanding and places a loving kiss on Alec’s lips the says seriously, “you know that despite what you think, despite not being a warlock, you do have the right to call for a retribution against me. You might have initiated and wanted the acknowledgement that led to us being considered married for the downworld but that's no reason to not acknowledge that your choice has been taken away from you. That you have all the rights to be pissed at me…”

Alec blinks and tilts his head decidedly confused "Do you want me to be pissed at you? I don't get it…” Magnus shrugs helplessly before continuing "I am just stating that it would be ok to fight, to argue, to yell, to get mad at me. You don't have to always just take it and deal with things, you are allowed to have your life and your emotions, you are allowed to get upset and say you are upset”

Alec nods slowly, taking the time to try absorb what Magnus is saying, it is a novelty concept for him, actually being upfront about his emotions, being _allowed_ to acknowledge their existence right when he's feeling them… Alec is not sure he can do that after so many years spent repressing and hiding away what he feels.

"Magnus you know me better than anyone, do you really think that if this was something I would fight about I wouldn't have reacted more harshly already?" Magnus seems to at least take a moment to think Alec's words over before nodding slowly. Alec knows he is quick to react badly when things get completely under his skin, especially if it is about something that it’s important for him. Despite this non verbal agreement Magnus keeps pressing the issue.

"Maybe so Darling, but I need you to know that should you find yourself mad at me, you have the right to feel that way. That it’s ok to express such feelings. I won’t love you any less nor think any less of you if we end up fighting…"

Alec nods softly and then hugs Magnus tightly, his eyes getting heavy after the difficult emotional conversation and the connected scares. He feels exhausted and drained, Alec knows they have not fixed everything, that they are in fact barely scratching the surface. But he does need a pause, a moment to breath and let the tension and the fear sip away. "I love you Magnus, I know we need to talk more but can we stay here have another nap please? Maybe start again with less fear this time? Maybe also with the surety that neither of us wants to leave? Please?”

Alec knows he’s halfway whining and downright pleading for this break, he does feel desperate to have a little more time to recuperate before he can face all the rest they need to address. Magnus just nods and snuggles closer in Alec's embrace, in the end they are not really able to fall asleep but at least some rest happens. Both are leaving small soft touches, gentle caresses, nothing that really gets more heated, but still the movement is constant and so sleep becomes elusive. Magnus murmurs a soft request with a tint of awe and fear colouring the tone of the question.

"May I touch your wings Sayang? You can say no and I'll respect that" Alec snorts indelicately, he doesn’t roll his eyes, but that might be more due to the fact he has them closed at that moment rather than real restraint on his part.

"You can do anything you want to me Magnus, and I'll gladly take anything you're willing to give me." While the words are meant as teasing, their honesty is giving them a whole different weight. A layer of seriousness that Alec is quickly trying to dispell, as he pushes himself up against Magnus’s body squirming while searching some delicious friction. Both words and action have the decisive undertone of being an open invitation for more. Alec curls one wing closer to Magnus’s fingers, gently tapping on them... A soft moan passes Alec's lips as the returned magic on Magnus's fingers caresses the sensitive leathery skin.

The touch is being processed completely differently from his brain, making it feels oh so good... It's not exactly like having sex, but certainly good enough that Alec desires more of it.

Alec barely registers Magnus's eye bulging open, realisation drawing slowly the conclusion that Magnus has absolutely no qualms in voicing "Your wings are _always_ sensitive to magic... and if you're in pain it becomes oversensitivity..."

Alec nods and unconsciously unfurls his wings more as he hums softly. A blush starts to spread on his face and Magnus looks intrigued by that. The teasing rolling off in waves from every single word leaving Magnus's lips "Oh do tell darling, such a beautiful blush couldn't have happened without a wonderful reason... I do want to know... That's it, If you’d like to share it with me..."

Alec's blush becomes more pronounced and he tries to hide his face mumbling under his breath and hoping against hope that Magnus would let it drop. He can totally imagine in vivid technicolours how Magnus could use to the maximum advantage the information that Alec is always sensitive to _Magnus’s magic_ , in all parts of his body... Alec's wings just happen to be a tidbit more sensitive than anywhere else, surprisingly making the blissful sensation stronger…

Apparently while Alec was lost in his own musing Magnus starts to run his fingers through his feathers, gently tracing closer to the exposed bones, continuing as if the different texture and appearance is not bothersome at all. 

As if he really finds them as beautiful as the words spoken not so long ago. Yet Alec is more a man of action, words can fail people, he is the prime example of that. And words can be more easily misinterpreted. Actions on the other hand are less likely to be completely misread and misunderstood… Both Magnus's actions and words are coherent.

And the magic... Oh sweet angels, Alec can feel the reverent love vibrating through the magic itself as he’s being caressed… It’s breathtaking, very intense and rather intimate… To his embarrassment he finds the sensation to be a huge turn on for him. He knew his wings were sensitive, but this... Having his wings out in their soft bed, rubbing against their smooth golden sheets, Magnus’s fingers touching him, as the magic leaves tingling trails in its wake, it’s almost too much to bear, and yet not enough… He wants more...

Another pleading whimper leaves Alec’s mouth and that is finally enough for Magnus to come closer and start drinking his moans directly from his lips. Alec nuzzles closer and lets himself be consumed in a kiss that is as much reassurance as it is claiming. Once they part, Magnus takes the mantle of the sensible one, after a deep breath and a loving kiss on Alec's nose, Magnus starts speaking again, "Darling we really need to talk now, wherever you want to start from, I'll listen, but please just let's try to address as much as we can so we can clear the air, and understand exactly what’s going on and what are the things we are missing… Then we can continue this to reach a more fulfilling conclusion." 

There still is a minute particle of uncertainty on Magnus's voice that makes Alec sighs softly. He nods before snuggling upwards and finally sitting against the wall, Magnus curled on his side watching him attentively. Alec can be extremely direct when he wants to be, and the sooner they get this out of the way the sooner they might return to more satisfying activities to share in their bed. So Alec takes the fastest route and asks directly "What should we address first?" Alec really is clueless and looks searchingly at Magnus hoping to receive an indication on where to take their talk.

Gladly Magnus smiles understanding and starts listing what should be their priorities. "How about this, for now I start listing the things we do need to talk about as soon as possible… Like first thing first, I suppose the marriage bit, then the consent part and what you really wish to do about the wing discovery. After all that I believe we do need to have a little more words on what happened to your wings, I’d rather not see you in that condition again if it can be avoided. And as a corollary of some of the previous points, like the marriage one, maybe explore a little what is exactly expected, then we’ll address if there are any other questions we might have after all that goes down... How does it sound darling?"

Alec takes a moment to think on the list and then nods before answering. "Good that, that sounds good, I think... So the revealing thing, I get that it is a big deal for you, but I seriously don't mind… Before the panic due to the **_we are already married_** discovery, I was trying to point to you, that since technically we _are_ already married, and you said it would have been different under that circumstance… Well, I was wondering if you could explain to me, how it would be different, why… and what I could do for you to make you feel better about the whole situation?"

With a nod and another deep breath Magnus starts explaining, Alec can see how this is more a case of different cultures holding different things to different regards. So he pays attention trying to understand where Magnus is coming from and then trying to find a middle ground together.

“Well with married couples it's pretty much a non issue. That's because for a warlock's union to be acknowledged by our society magic has to be involved and recognised, it would then leave a faint signature you could say, a claiming mark of sorts to show off who you belong to...”

There is some embarrassment on Magnus's part at saying that. He knows what Raphael told him, but he’s still curious about what Magnus would say to him personally. Alec can't stop himself from tilting his head and ask about it curiously, with a grin on his lips. "Am I, and yes this is a direct quote ' _so disgustingly drenched in your magic_ ' that there's absolutely no misunderstanding about the fact I belong to you?"

Magnus's squirming a little nervous by the description, before looking up and nodding sheepishly. Alec finds the action makes Magnus look younger, maybe a little insecure as well, doubt that is confirmed in the soft question, "I hope you don't mind too much?"

Alec offers one of his most brilliant smiles and shakes his head “Not at all, why would I mind others being able to tell exactly how much I am loved? I do like to know others can see it, it’s just… Well I just wish others could see how much I love you…” Magnus hums softly confidence and a hint of playfulness finally returning and shining brightly into Magnus's cat eyes. “We can see if we can find a way... In the worst case scenario, I'm not opposed to walking around showing off your lovely hickeys Darling… Whether you leave them on my neck or anywhere else you’d want to leave them... I’m game if you are…" 

Alec knows Magnus is just teasing but he can feel his eyes widening at the suggestion to the point he can't stop himself from blurting out the question, "you would accept to wear them on _any_ part of your body? Just for me?"

Despite the nods and the teasing smile Alec knows this time he's going to surprise Magnus. He picks up Magnus's right hand and brings it toward his lips to place a soft kiss on the pulsing point on the wrist, in between placing soft kisses there Alec asks more directly and explicitly, "would you accept to wear one here?" 

Alec's thumb returns to caress the exact spot his lips have been moments ago. He hears clearly Magnus's breath hitching a little. He can see that Magnus is thoroughly taken aback and is searching in Alec's eyes for some answer. Alec just smiles serenely, rubbing gentle small circles over and over as he waits patiently for an answer.

The blink is probably more surprised than it probably has been intended, but the curiosity burning in Magnus’s eyes speaks clearly of Magnus not fully understanding what it's being asked here yet sensing that the meaning that’s just out of reach might be important, making the need to know so much more intense. "Yes Darling even on my wrist, you surprised me, and I’m curious, why there?"

Alec smiles a secretive smile and shrugs nonchalant, he knows his answer to that. He had it prepared a long time ago after all. "It's your dominant hand. Anyone who will meet you, anyone you'll do magic in front of, anyone you will greet will see my mark there. They will see you're taken, and not by someone willing to share… It will be a place you can easily cover up with something that you can pass off as fashion statement should it become a liability, or a weakness you cannot have..."

Alec did put enough thought on how to explain his request, he feels quite relaxed having a good feeling that he might just pass it through without having to reveal something more embarrassing… This conviction lasts a whole five seconds until he raises his eyes. Then he sees the intrigued and inquisitive looks on Magnus's face... And he just knows he’s done.

"And that is that all there is to it Darling?" Magnus's tilting head with curiosity still burning in Magnus's eyes shouldn't be as endearing as Alec's finding it to be. With a soft huff at being called out Alec pouts a little, before giving in to a small chuckle… He should have known better, it’s not like Magnus isn’t able to pick up when there’s more to the story the majority of times after all.

"Fine… No, it's not... Despite our upbringings, young nephilim do have bedtime stories. In one of them two lovers leave their love marks into each other's skin, before bowing down to duty… It is a love not approved by their families, nor society… The lady gives to her beloved knight a kiss mark on his wrist, so he could hide it under the sleeve of his shirt. While she is still being forced to get married for the sake of duty and family. She asks her lover one last mark, on her ring finger, to openly acknowledge that she already has chosen another rather than the man her family sold her to for the sake of an alliance."

Magnus has a silly grin when asking cheekily, "does that mean you'd be willing to let me place a hickey on your ring finger until the day I can put a wedding ring there to stake my claim..?"

Alec blushes prettily and simply offers his hand up as he put his lips on Magnus's wrist. Eyes locked and a smile on their lips as they both start working on marking each other. Once the faint bruise appears Magnus conjures a small spark of magic and makes an offering gesture. Alec gives his assent, the sparkle dances on his skin making sure the mark is there to stay visible, but not hurting…

The action is repeated for Magnus’s wrist as well, eyes sparkling with a deep seated sense of happiness. It is a such a rushing feeling that Magnus blurts out clearly without thinking, "how long till I can propose to you after this to make things official" 

The flash of heartbroken pain that passes on his face must be a shock to Magnus. But Alec doesn't want his next words to be misunderstood. So first he kisses Magnus like there's no tomorrow, his thumb circling absentmindedly and lovingly on the mark he just made. He uses both hands to cradle Magnus's face and leans closer for another kiss then keeping eye contact he answers sincerely.

"Magnus, my love I need you to know I love you more than anything in this world. I don't wish for anything more than having finally the chance to call you mine. In any way I could possibly have, in any way you will allow me to have… But I need you to understand there are some of the traditions of my people that I hold dear, that I cannot find in me the willingness to disregard. I want for us the chance to marry in blue and gold. I want the Clave to recognise who we are. I want them to be forced to treat us with the same respect as any other couple married in gold. 

Please tell me you understand what I mean. Please tell me you know and understand… If you and I weren’t who we are for our people. If it was just Alec and Magnus and nothing else I would ask you the honour of your hand right here and right now. But with all the rest of the downworld already considering us married… With them just waiting for a ceremony that announces our new names… The only way to make it truly happen is if we can change the Clave's system. If we can do that we could open so many doors for so many other people besides just us…”

Alec looks imploringly into Magnus's eyes… Searching for any sign that would help him understand if he has made a mess with his words… _Again_ … Or if he managed to carry his hope for the future. His desire to have a permanent change. One legacy that could carry on after he moves on… Alec continues trying to explain his position on the matter.

"Think of it, it could be the biggest fuck off ever done… And the Clave wouldn’t have any room to say anything against it… They will be forced to recognise that me and you are not going anywhere. That any attempt to keep downworlders out is going to be futile… And it will change the scales of power and balance"

There is a look of wonder shining in Magnus's eyes while looking at Alec. Magnus's whisper is soft, almost disbelieving. "Blowing the very ground you stand on Alexander... You are always so full of surprises. Every time I think I've figured you out, you come and do something that leaves my head spinning… Sayang I get what you are saying, and I get your desires for a better world for everyone. I won't insult your intelligence denying that a part of me fears your vision will never come to pass. That this is just a more elaborate way to not go through with a proper ceremony. A twisted game of oblique rejection while you string me along… But I recognise that this is probably my insecurity speaking… "

Alec has a half smile on his lips and his throat a little tighter than before. "Magnus if there is one thing I wish to be remembered for… It is not my wings. It is not how far I might have gotten up the Clave’s ranks… I just wish for the future generations to know that I’ve been loving you so much I did my best to change the world for you. I promise you I'm working on it. It is a slow work in progress, but at least it's moving… The fact that they have approved worldwide downworlder cabinets to be installed in all Institutes is a step in the right direction. And more liked minded shadowhunters are coming out of the woods. Now that someone is speaking up they are stopping hiding in the shadows of unjust traditions."

Magnus returns the half smile and answers teasingly "I can see your plan now Darling… You are just hoping for the Clave to recognise our marriage. So you could shove my way all the paperwork, to be dealt with a flick of my magic and make it all disappear."

Alec smiles brightly and chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling with joy. With his voice taking a teasing quality, he puts his hands up in the universal sign of surrender. “You've got me there babe… I can't wait for you to be the co-head of the Institute so that I could let you magic away all the paperwork… Think of all the extra time I could then spend with my husband... I do wonder though with so much more free time what we could ever do to keep ourselves entertained..."

They both break down into an uncontrollable fit of chuckles and giggles. Warming up Alec's heart, loving the fact that they can laugh about this and that Magnus is able to laugh about this.

"It sounds like a marvellous plan Darling… And I'm pretty sure that husband of yours, could find many ways to keep you entertained… I do know I might have some suggestions for right now as well if you’d care to hear them…" 

The exaggerated wiggle of Magnus'seyebrows is quite frankly ridiculous and it takes another giggle out of Alec. "You're pretty ridiculous Mags, but I love you with all I have, and I can only hope you'd find it to be enough for you." Magnus snuggles closer and slithers both arms around Alec's waist making sure to hold on tightly, a playful pout hides the seriousness of the next words…

"I suppose we still do have more to talk about… So next things on the list is one question I have for you Darling, you said Raphael helped you figure it out and you made it sound like there was more than one thing he sorted out?"

Alec nods in acquiescence "Yeah Raphael was the second person who came to me about the problems going on, and actually the only one who took the time to explain things to me you know? Luke came first... I thought that his advice would be quite sound, he was a shadowhunter before being a downworlder... I thought his advice would keep in consideration all the differences he might have spotted between the two systems…” Magnus nods probably thinking along the same lines as Alec. 

"It turns out we have both been wrong to think that… Because it seems he never actually had to deal with the politics of it all… Now please know that I don’t appreciate either making this parallel, and I’m not making it lightly… But it seems that as other parabatai partners… Luke was more similar to Jace, a soldier. The one taking orders and breaking the rules… But never the first one to get down and dirty with the political games... That apparently was Valentine's job...”

Alec's unable to hold back the grimace at having found something similar between himself and the monster that Valentine Morgenstern used to be. Despite that Alec continues his explanation.

“It was a gradual thing… At first there were your comments about ruling. You never told me it was _expected of me_ to give consults and mediate issues. Then you started asking about the seelies… Which by the way were not the first group to come to me, merely the ones to do so while I was at Pandemonium and you could see it… Though it was the suggestion that they might come to make me undo your decrees. That’s what really made me try to avoid being contacted. The fact that Luke came to me to tell me that the court is where issues are brought up informally… Before an official action is taken, made me try to step back and not interfere with your job"

Alec can feel the puzzlement radiating off Magnus's mind in waves, so he tries to clarify his position… "Magnus, shadowhunters don't date… They get married early on. Have babies and try, more often than not unsuccessfully, to not get themselves killed before thirty... So yeah what we have... well it's.."

He fumbles with the words and uses his hand in a circular motion in the space between them to indicate all they have, unable to properly explain… Magnus looks curious, head tilted and clearly waiting for more. However when Alec is unable to find a way to properly explain his dilemma Magnus says softly, if not a little uncertain. "Sayang? you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, though I would love to understand...”

Alec blushes and looks down, his hands playing with Magnus's marked wrist, his fingers reverently circling on top of the faint mark "Hmm I guess you could say that all this time we’ve sort of been courting? Or as close to it as it's actually possible..?"

Magnus looks sort of puzzled by the words, most likely not really understanding their meaning in this context "Darling, I don't mind that, I just never knew it was an option... I mean looking at Jace and Isabelle, it didn't seem exactly the way things are done anymore?"

Alec shrugs and keeps his eyes downcast, his voice becomes soft and barely audible, "that’s one of the reasons why, as far as my parents are concerned, I failed in raising them..."

Magnus's eyes grow alarmingly wide and Magnus’s body flinches then becomes rigid with tension, the rage and fury barely contained hot and boiling under a completely fake, icy calm tone… 

"Excuse me darling, I do hope I've misunderstood you there… Are you, by any chance, telling me that Maryse and Robert Lightwood expected _you_ … Their firstborn son. To _raise **their** other children_… Biological and adopted one, _your siblings_ , while being only a few years older than them? Please tell me I have somehow misplaced something in this reconstruction…"

Alec shrugs like it's not a big deal, which all in all, for him, it really is not… "Magnus I've been doing it since my wings came out... I told you, as far as my parents were concerned, the wings were a sign I was different… It sort of didn't help much in the long run. But it did help at the time that the Silent Brothers sort of encouraged this. My parents thought it was for a greater purpose, meaning I would accomplish great things... They just took it as a fact. Used it to their advantage to spend more time in Idris. Solidify their position within the Clave, which in the end worked out just fine... Do you really believe my siblings would be the way they are now if our parents were the ones to raise them? And I mean, do you really think I could have managed to do even half of the things I’ve done if my parents were around all the time?"

Magnus is still clearly upset about this part, but their talk is getting away from them and Alec needs to explain himself better, so he tries again. "Magnus, what I mean with all that, is that while a couple is courting it is considered very rude and very much against the protocols to interfere with your intended’s job... With us technically still courting. At least as far as the shadowhunters' society is concerned. Me taking over consultation and emitting decrees in your place, that is one of the worst blunder and most unforgivable acts I could have done… It is one of the few reasons that would make acceptable, even call for a unilateral breakup of the courtship…

Married couples have to work together, and you cannot work together if your partner is coming in and stomping on how you deal with things. It is also one of the greatest insults one could give. Because it's basically a strong declaration of two things… One that you don't trust your intended to be able to carry on their share of responsibilities and duties. And two that you don't believe they are doing a good job... If on top of all that, instead of taking new cases you actually just rework previously made decisions and change them...

You are basically declaring that once married your intended opinion will not be taken into consideration. That they are not worthy of the position you are offering them. That clearly this union is nothing but a political alliance… That you are not taking a partner, but a trophy spouse, whose only duty is going to be bearing heirs… Possibly being entrusted at least initially with taking care of the children and nothing more."

Alec can finally see the realisation slowly coming into Magnus's eyes. And for a moment he’s glad. He did manage to paint exactly how bleak his position has been before things were explained to him. Alec is grateful that when Magnus speaks up it shows a grasp and a better understanding of what happened. "That's why you panicked and started to shut us all out when I first asked about the seelies. It was my mentioning the chance of them trying to overrule my decrees through you that made you choose to stay away.”

Alec just nods and continues softly "Can you see it now…? We are both probably looking at things from very different starting points. Making relevant and logical conclusions, that start with the wrong basis... So yeah, it took Raphael taking me to that special room you set up for him. To actually get an explanation of what was going on… On the fact that we are considered married, as far as downworlders are concerned… He was the reason why I got back into the fray… And well, that is also the reason that got us here..."

Magnus looks confused clearly not understanding his last reference… Even asking Magnus sounds unsure but willing to listen. "You mean your wings? How did they get so hurt? I mean Jace couldn't think of any way you might have been in danger... Or actually, any situation where you could get hurt so much... And I don't get why the iratze doesn't work? Isn't it supposed to heal everything?"

Alec bites his lower lips and shrugs, not really having all the answers to all those questions either. So he just shares what he knows. "The wings never responded the same way as the rest of my body to the runes… I cannot draw runes on them. And the damage is always too far away from the iratze to reach it... It’s just a wild guess mind you, but I suspect the runes need skins… And apparently the leather membrane on them doesn't count as such? I don't know. All the stories I could find about the winged protectors, they were more about what those individuals did rather than how they went through life..."

Magnus raises an eyebrow in silent inquiry and Alec shrugs once more continuing uninterrupted. "I always loved reading their stories… That's what I studied with the silent brothers. I searched through all the archives. I read all the diaries and journals for years. There was only one thing all those stories had in common. And it was that they were able to actually rally together and unify the shadow world. Albeit it was for a brief amount of time. They have been able to either bring change for the better or at least defeat the current threat at that point of time…”

Magnus sighs, head shaking before pointing out impatiently, "Darling you are still avoiding answering how your wings got so hurt..."

Alec's embarrassed blush tints his cheeks and creeps down his neck… A flaming hot reminder, showing that indeed Alec is trying to avoid that particular point for as long as possible, completely if he can get away with it. Alec fumbles with his words ending up blurting uncomfortable… "It's the club... It's not exactly a wing friendly environment..."

Magus is clearly taken aback. Magnu's golden skin becoming ashen grey in an instant. "That's why you didn't really want to stay there much if you could avoid it... Why.. Why didn't you tell me?"

Alec looks down starting to play with his own hands "It's not exactly a widespread problem… And how could I have told you without explaining the wings first?"

The sorrow and pain in Magnus's eyes it's almost too much to bear, and yet not nearly as agonizing as the pain in Magnus's voice continuing speaking "Would you have told me you got hurt in my club once you decided to share your wings with me?"

Alec is not going to lie to Magnus, he doesn’t want to, but his silence is just as a damning answer as speaking the words aloud… He can hear Magnus taking a fortifying breath before continuing with other questions. "Do you at least know exactly what it is that reduces them that way? Is there at least something we can do to protect them and make you more comfortable?"

Alec nods slowly grateful for not being called on what just happened. "I think I've figured out where most of the damage comes from, one of the worst is from seelies's fairy dust… That and glitter. Those two stay floating in the air for such a long time that it feels like forever. I know that despite being able to carry me they seem pretty frail, and people bumping into them easily creates bruising and tears… The rest of the things in the air… I don't know why but it just seems to stick on the like wings like crazy… I don’t know exactly what is the sticky substance that starts it all. But apparently it makes it easy to create a disgustingly clingy film. One that seems to attract even more fairy dust, glitter, dust and whatever else is floating in the air... A continuous vicious circle… The weirdest part is that, despite the cloaking making the wings invisible and non physical for other people around me, they can still get hurt… It's one of the reasons why I don't like closet quarters”

It is Magnus turn to start thinking, fingers unconsciously playing with Alec’s dark feathers... Making Alec shivering under the gentle touch. A soft pleased mewling sound escaping Alec's throat. It brings a smile on Magnus’s lips, who just leans forward and kisses him pushing them both back... Laying down, snuggling closer together enjoying this brief moment of peace before continuing the conversation. 

"Ok let's set the wings aside for a moment, Darling I want you to know that consent is very much important in warlocks' culture. We live for a very long time, a lot of us actually grew up in very different societies than the current one, and mundanes changed their ways many times during the centuries... We saw and lived through many form and shapes of discrimination for a very long time. Being forced to do things to conform to society’s rules, or choose solitude and alienation from the world... Neither were pleasant experiences per se... If you add into the mix being hunted like animals by shadowhunters. And all just for the sake of filling in grotesque trophies rooms... You can start to see why forcing anything on anyone would be considered a grave offence, yes?"

Alec nods and gently runs his fingers through Magnus' hair, he can understand but he is also pretty conflicted on the fact that he doesn't see how that applies to their situation. "I do get what you are saying. But Magnus you haven't forced me into anything though..." 

Magnus sighs exasperated, eyes closed clearly gathering strength and thoughts, perhaps to try a different approach to make him understand... 

"Alexander, I'm sure I know you enough to be able to say this with absolute confidence in the truthfulness of what I'm saying. You were not going to tell me about your wings today... You would have made sure to say something only after your wings were healed and looking in good conditions. Tell me, am I wrong?"

Alec shakes his head slowly, no Magnus isn’t wrong at all, if he had been able to choose he wouldn’t have wanted to add unnecessary worries for Magnus. "Maybe no, you're right I wouldn't have but only because it's clearly upsetting you that they are hurt... I mean I knew exactly what I was doing when I started being more present at the club... I knew it would happen and I simply tried to deal with it the best I could." The breath that leaves Magnus's lips is dragged and pained as if it's made of broken glasses. "Alexander, this is why it pains me. In your plans of dealing with it, you are not even considering the chance to talk to me... Or you know, letting me help you... We could have searched for a solution. Spells, wards, protections or something else altogether, we could have found a resolution together."

Alec looks up surprised at the outburst and then he stills as the words register within his brain. "I-I'm so sorry Magnus. I didn't think about it that way. It's just I'm used to searching and finding the solution on my own... That's what I've always done."

Magnus nods and nuzzles against Alec's neck lovingly "I know sayang but we're in this together. Let me help you, it would mean a lot to me. And to be honest it's part of why I was so insistent on having you at the club. Darling I need you to understand this, and for you to not take it the wrong way. I need to know you are as safe as you can possibly be."

Alec blinks confused and leans back trying to catch Magnus's eyes with his "What are you saying Magnus?" He can see Magnus's eyes tightening shut, as if preparing for a huge revelation, or at least something Magnus is unsure how Alec will react to it... Probably remains from previous lovers not taking too kindly similar news... 

"My magic Alexander, it is part of me. But also, well, the best way to describe it’s saying that it has intentions and desires of its own? It has been quite some times now... That I could feel my magic itching, and begging me to wrap you in a layer of golden bubble wrap. To keep you from harm, to let it free to follow you around. To give it an anchor, and convince you to carry around a small seed of it with you at all times. So that we could both reach you in a blink of an eye if needed...” 

Alec smiles lovingly, not really seeing what would be wrong with such a request, nor why Magnus would be so hesitant in speaking up about it... "All you have to do is just ask Magnus, and I will gladly give it to you... If it is something that would make you feel better. Or at least less worried every time I am out on patrol... Then sure, why no? I mean I’m sure we can figure something out. I don’t see any problem at all with any of that… I’m sorry I really don’t see where the problem is."

This time they both can feel Magnus's magic rejoice in pure unadulterated happiness. Leaping between them, feeling to Alec like millions butterfly light kisses covering every inch of their skin. The magic singing in pleasure, vibrating in the air between Magnus and Alec weaving a definitive bond, connecting them before cementing the bond in place before calming down. 

A sensation that leaves Alec with teary eyes and a sense of peace and belonging he has never felt before... He basks in the feeling of having both Magnus and Magnus's magic surrounding him, sinking into Alec's entire being as they make themselves at home. Surrendering himself to the blissful sensation of being accepted for all he is. Alec hums softly, eyes half closed in satisfaction, his voice resembling a content purr. "I suppose this is not exactly something that happens all that often?"

Magnus sighs in bliss, resting completely boneless against Alec. “No Sayang, this... This is the most priceless gift you could have ever given me. This is the result of you accepting every part of me. Acknowledging my magic both as part of me and as a sentient entity in its own right. And then welcoming it with an open heart without fear or reservations... Accepting that my magic has recognised you from the very beginning as my mate... And I'm sorry it took me some time to let my mind and heart to follow... The prospect was terrifying."

Alec keeps humming softly, placing small kisses on Magnus's head after gently pulling Magnus closer and resting his cheek nuzzling against Magnus's hair. Alec doesn’t know exactly what it means for a warlock to have a mate, but the term is very close in general meaning to what Nephilim call their one love. After hearing what sounded like disbelief Alec decides that maybe Magnus doesn’t know, or maybe that’s considered only a legend so he decides to share...

"Nephilim, we only love once in our lifetime, fiercely... I've known you are my one love since before I actually said the words to you. I knew you were going to be my world the moment I chose you. Above anyone else, in front of all who could have had an opinion against it. Even then, when choosing you could have meant forfeit everything I had worked for all my life. The only thought in my mind was ‘I want to have this man in my life for as long as he’ll have me…’"

Magnus's hands hold onto him, before one starts to gently caress his cheek then moving down his neck. Alec closes his eyes, enjoying the attention while listening to Magnus’s explanation.

"Warlocks mostly only have legends about mates... Sort of like a bedtime story of a promised happily ever after. Finding that one person in the whole world who could be willing to accept you completely. Someone who could keep you on your toes for the rest of your life, reminding you constantly that every second is precious and beautiful... And for those lucky enough to find theirs... 

Well it could mean being able to forget the fear of calcification while their mate is in their life. Because your whole being has found something so interesting that for as long as they are in your life everything becomes _more_... I've always thought it was a beautiful legend, if not unrealistic. A wonderful dream to hope for, something to give young warlocks a reason to keep moving forward. Usually after a few centuries without even finding confirmations of mates existing. Most of us just keep the legend alive to allow new generations the chance of learning to hope. But I never thought I'd ever be so lucky as to have that for myself...

You have to understand this Alexander... Mates are rare. Even if you find them, it's not a guarantee that they would be willing to reciprocate it. It is not a guarantee that they would love you the way you want them to. And the reverse is also true. Some would consider it extremely foolish to choose only a few short decades with a mortal mate. Knowing the strongest emotions only for a limited amount of time, and then have it leave behind only memories... And the knowledge that it’s unlikely you’ll ever find another relationship that could even hold a candle to what you’ve just lost..."

Alec keeps humming softly listening. A happiness he never felt in his life invading every corner of his being. Seeping through the parabatai bond and reaching the one piece of soul safely guarded by Jace. The amazing feeling curling protectively also around the cherished piece of Jace's soul he holds in himself... For a single moment feeling both bonds beating steadily in time with his content heartbeat. In this moment in time, Alec has found his place in the world. Everything has shifted without anything moving. All is as it ever was, exactly as it should be and nowhere close to feeling as it did before...

He has heard the dark cloud of a bleak prospect in Magnus's future. And in this moment, when Alec’s feeling the best he has ever been and never thought he could ever feel, Alec has to ask.

“Do you think you'll come to regret taking the chance of allowing me to enter and stay in your life?”

The shaking is subtle but present, he doesn’t know how to feel about that but he waits to see if he’ll get an answer. 

“No Alexander. I’ve never been one to indulge in something so useless and pointless as regret. I always take what I think it’s the right choice at that time. Sometimes the results are good. Other times it results in pain. But that’s life. You can only choose between moving forward or standing still and stagnate. 

Us being mates does mean I’m going to be even more possessive and protective of you than ever before. While I can try intellectually to understand that I’m getting too clingy, on the pure emotional and magical level I won’t be able to give you more space… I hope you won’t come to regret or resent me and this... ”

While the last sentence is said teasingly and with a smile, Alec can feel through the bond the truth of Magnus’s words. And the strength of the possessiveness doesn’t scare him, on the contrary, it makes him feel cherished and loved... Worthy of being loved... Worthy of being someone's first choice for once in his life. So Alec just smiles and lets his own happiness travel through the bond.

Letting his emotions flow in a similar way he would with the parabatai bond. He can’t stop the satisfied smile and smug feeling peeking up when Magnus’s eyes widen in realisation. Alec knows it’s going to take a while to adjust to the new sensations the bond brings, and that they will have to learn together. 

But for now he prefers to shift the focus back on possible solutions to satisfy Magnus’s burning need of protecting him. He has a patrol waiting for him once tonight descends on them.

"So... we were talking about a way to make portable wards, right? Wouldn’t that require some sort of object to anchor the ward? Like the equivalent of a core stone but wearable?"

Magnus nods his agreement now distracted by the new topic "Yes a physical object is preferable, as it would keep the wards up indefinitely. This is where it becomes difficult... It has to be something you can wear all the time. Something that wouldn't get lost easily... And that its appearance on your person wouldn't bring unwarranted attention or suspects... I mean the easiest thing I can think of would be a necklace but I doubt I could convince you to wear one...”

Alec snorts inelegantly and starts tugging on Magnus’s necklaces "Those are not jewels Magnus. But a perfect invitation for an enemy to either tug you down. Or try to strangle you... I don't wear them because they are not safe in battle."

Magnus's smile is a little self deprecating "I'm not sure a ring would be much better Darling, especially if we can’t have the shadowhunter ceremony that could justify its presence on your finger"

Alec can feel the sliver of self doubt peeking through the newly formed bond. So he just acts on the need to give comfort. The kiss is sweet and filled with love and reassurance. "I am working on it Mags. It will happen, there is no way I will let them keep you from making an honest man out of me..."

The grin on Alec's face is goofy and soft when he continues talking, offering a possible alternative. "What about wing jewellery? I think it would be covered in the cloaking. And maybe it’s not like with runes... But shouldn’t it work better the closer the anchor is to the part that needs the most protection?"

Magnus reacts with a besotted smile of his own after taking a double check... Probably to gauge whether Alec is genuine in his offer, checking also through the bond... To be absolutely certain Alec is really offering to wear a tangible sign he does belong to Magnus... Even if no one else would yet be able to see it... After their marriage in gold and blue however... Then it’s going to be a completely different time... But for now, this should do.

"Indeed it would work Darling, but are you sure? You do know that as far as stories go, winged beings usually wear jewellery on their wings only if they are taken...?"

Alec leans forward and places one more kiss on Magnus's lip grinning teasingly "And here I thought we have already clarified that neither of us is actually on the market... Nor available for others to grab... Make no mistake Magnus Bane, you are as much mine as I am yours. Strength. Mind. Body. Soul and Magic, all I have and all I am is yours... Now and for as long as you will want to have me"

Magnus looks with shining eyes and repeats reverently "You, Alexander Gideon Lightwood are as much mine as I am yours. Strength. Mind. Body. Soul and Magic, all I have and all I am is yours. Now and for as long as you will want to have me... The way you always surprise me Sayang, my forever would barely be enough for me to get to know you. And even then, I believe that you would still manage to surprise me. On each and every step of the way."

Alec smiles lovingly and licks softly Magnus's own smile… Asking for the easily granted permission to find his way home, on lips that taste like sunshine and honey. Alec is unsure on whose moan is actually resounding in their bedroom. But it does sound like the perfect music to his ears. Neither has realised the sun is unforgivingly leaving the sky. The shadows advancing into the room, as Alec’s phone rings a notification... Jace's sending a message, which brings an annoyed growl on Alec's lips. 

When the notifications keep coming for five consecutive messages. Alec exasperatedly stops the delightful engagement with Magnus's lips and he reaches the phone sighing only to raise an eyebrow unamused. 

Alec just flips the notification shut and places the phone back on the bedside table where it was before. Then he shares deadpanned, "Jace sends his congratulations on, and I quote, ‘making me glow like Central Park’s Christmas tree during the holidays’. And a reminder that we have a patrol in less than an hour. So to cut things short because I need to be able to walk. Or you need to heal me... At least enough to shoot my _runed_ arrows on the field. And not just in the bedroom."

Magnus tries to cover the laughter with coughing sounds. That just makes Alec shoot another unimpressed look at his lover this time. "Not funny Magnus. He managed to cockblock me even without being here physically. I swear one of those days I will get back at him... It's like he has a fucking timer finely tuned." 

Magnus’s sniggering teasingly holding MAgnus's own side like this is the most hilarious thing heard in ages… "Or he has a mood tracker on you Darling, and you feel soo good when we are together that he simply _knows_ "

Alec can't do anything but smiling softly, feeling so light and happy that he might even believe it if someone was to tell him he was glowing in this moment. "Yeah... That, that might be it... Anyway now the mood is totally ruined... And you know how we get... " 

Teasingly using Magnus own words to prevent more from happening. To soften the blow as the pout appears on Magnus's well kissed lips Alec murmurs, "but you know I have an idea that you might like even better... We do have enough time to actually try out and test out that wing jewellery idea we were talking about... See if it stays in place. Or if the cloaking doesn't include physical objects. I never had the chance to safely experiment with it."

Magnus looks both excited and slightly self conscious while summoning a small box. Magnus opens it and then places it in front of Alec. He can see a couple of rather large rings, some crystal pendants and what looks like few chains. Everything in the box appears to be silver and charged natural stones. Upon reaching them with his hands he can feel the same buzzing from the items as he could on Magnus's door. Easily recognising the feeling of wards.

Alec looks at the box in amazement, he can feel on each piece wards as strong as the ones they are currently under here at the loft... Each jewel with a slightly different feeling to them. "You were already working on this... And for quite a while. Those are completely imbued with your magic Magnus..."

Alec's breath hitches and emotions build on his throat watching Magnus fidgeting and playing with the content of the box. "I wasn't sure exactly what I could convince you to wear... So I sort of started to prepare a selection... My magic, and me, would have been able to cope... If I could manage to convince you to wear at least one of them..."

And with all the tenderness he can feel in his heart Alec replies softly "I would wear them all for you my love. No one ever made me feel so worthy of being protected myself. Until I met you... I'm used to being the one doing the protecting, not being on the receiving end of the protection."

Magnus nods, probably understanding exactly where Alec is coming from. Before some protest could be voiced on anything he said Alec asks directly. "Would you put them on me? I'm sure we can find a way for them to stay in place"

Alec receives a teasing grin in response and a sassy "Is that a challenge Alexander? Because I could always find a way to use magic on them and on you... And make them permanently stay on you. Unable to be removed by anyone else but ourselves.." Alec looks up surprised and if he’s honest to himself a little intrigued by the idea. "I didn't know something like that was really possible?"

The shrug and waving gesture Magnus make is a rather clear indicator. That nope, it wouldn't generally be such a possible thing to do. But it would be more a Magnus special kind of possible thing... 

"You really are something else aren't you Magnus? Everything you do. There is not one moment that I’m not awed by you... I'm never able to tell. Whether what you can do is simply you being astonishing in all your own glory. If it is your magic... Or the fact you are in your position. That allows you to do the things you do."

This time it's his alarm ringing interrupting them. Signalling that Alec has little more than half an hour. Then he absolutely needs to leave for the Institute and his patrol. Magnus's hand hover on the open box for a few moments before saying softly, "Here let me help you darling." Magnus makes a quick work of placing the rings at the base of the sharp claw on his first digit. Right at the top of his wings. Fingers waves on the ring, connecting one of the chains to what appears a modified ear cuff, large enough to fit comfortably the edge of his wing. The ease of Magnus’s movements betrays more experience on the practice than Alec would have ever thought. 

The chain, once connected, creates a beautiful arch. The portion between the two pieces stays in tension. Once one of the crystal pendants gets positioned in the lowest part of the curve and held in place with a new silver ring. A new chain appears in Magnus’s hands and the obsidian tear shaped pendant gets attached to one of its ends. The other end of the chain gets welded to the ring.

Alec is surprised when the jewel composition feels like a caress against his wing. Not at all constricting, the sensation makes Alec sigh softly in contentment and pleasure... The wards build layers upon layers around him. Feeling as warm and soft as the fluffiest softest towel Magnus has available in the loft.

Magnus repeats the same actions on the other wing. Once all the content of the box finds its place on his person, Alec finds himself surprised that it's not feeling foreign to him. 

Maybe it is the lovely feeling of Magnus’s magic pulsing from within the jewels. Maybe it is an intended effect of the wards. Alec doesn't know about any of that, only that he is really grateful he decided to suggest this today instead of wasting time waiting for this.

Magnus's fingers caress the chains reverently admiring the finished work with a sated satisfied hum. "There you go darling. How are they feeling?"

Alec keeps his eyes closed. He makes sure that the bond with Magnus is wide open, to send through at least the echoes of the amazing feeling that has invaded his world... He can only offer a dreamy breathless answer. "As good as having you on me Magnus"

The chuckle sort of breaks the spell like bliss Alec is in. And he finds himself pouting at the loss of the sensation. With a disappointed sigh Alec starts to fold in his wings. Noticing how the jewellery is neither moving around nor sliding off. Alec appreciates the extra security Magnus put on them for him. 

He sighs softly, "here goes nothing, time to test it out" Reaching to his back Alec concentrates to call the tingling sensation of his energy on his fingers. He draws two parallel lines on his skin and the wings disappear from view. Gladly he discovers he can still feel the protection from the wards and spells embedded in the jewellery. Alec turns and looks at Magnus who is looking at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly open. Not really getting what is putting such a surprised expression on Magnus’s face Alec goes on asking for Magnus’s opinion.

"So..? How do the wards feel? As far as I can sense the cloaking is working perfectly and not tampering with the magic on the jewels, does it feel ok on your side?"

Not having received any reply from Magnus Alec gently nudges his knee against Magnus's hand. "Magnus...? It's everything alright?"

Being addressed directly seems to do the trick and pull Magnus's back into the present. "Everything is fine Darling, the wards feel even stronger than before, but I cannot actually see them, I can _feel_ their presence and they do seem like they are working as perfectly as they could be... I was just wondering."

Alec’s phone rings once more. It really is time for him to leave and join his team for the patrol. Alec picks the phone up and quickly fires two messages to Izzy and Jace. Telling them they’ll just meet at their destination. It's faster from him that way rather than race to the Institute. He knows he's going to be teased mercilessly by both his siblings. So what, if he is avoiding them for just a little longer... It's not like they could report him to the Head of the Institute for unprofessional behaviour.

Grinning softly and placing the phone in his pocket. Alec raises his eyes and looks at Magnus still looking at him as if lost in deep thoughts... Alec leans closer and nuzzles their noses lovingly 

"I'll come home as soon as I can. I'll let you know how everything works out during the patrol. Thank you so much for all you're doing for me Magnus. I love you."

And without wasting anymore time, Alec puts on the rest of his gear and rushes out of the door to meet with his siblings.


	6. Chapter 6

Magnus can hear the door closing behind Alexander. Today has been so filled with discovery and surprises. So many highs and lows that he just feels exhausted. So much happened in so little time that his head is still spinning. 

There’re moments when Magnus wonders if all of this has been just a dream… But then the gentle pulse of the new bond reminds him otherwise. The sensation is equally foreign, pleasant and completely different than anything Magnus has ever felt. It feels like young magic, moving back and forth between him and Alexander like fresh calm water. It is behaving like a young pup, eager to please, to play, or just to be acknowledged. It seems to require just the barest sign of approval before surrounding Magnus with all the love and affection that Alexander is capable of. 

Magnus has been sure, way before now, that Alexander's heart is one of the softest, warmer and biggest he ever met. That the potential of love hidden behind a stoic face and impenetrably formal manners has always been one beyond description.

But he can't stop his own mind from running in circles and trying to unpack and process the huge amount of information he has just received...

His Alexander is special in more ways than one...

The unique wings present on his angel's back are large enough that they could make flying a real possibility...

Not only that, but those wings feel like _magic_ runs through them. It is different and yet weirdly familiar to his own. However he can't quite pinpoint if the difference resides in the probable angelic origin. Or if it just feels foreign because it's still so young. 

Since Magnus shares a rather intimate relationship with its wielder the familiarity could also be explained that way...

Not that the wielder in question seems conscious of using magic.. 

Magnus could have sworn on it. He is so sure that he has seen a shiny silver hue dancing on the fingertips as Alexander ‘cloaked’ the wings away... 

And wasn't that a term he had heard before, he is so sure it despite being unable to recall when or where exactly… The first thought that jumps to mind is Tessa. She is half a shadowhunter after all. 

But her magical presence has never been this strong. And certainly he never felt her magic interact with his in this way… On the other hand he also has never been romantically involved nor bonded with Tessa either…

It is a mystery wrapped in a puzzle, and Magnus doesn't like not knowing things... Oh he does like to flex his mental muscles on riddles now and then. It is a nice and entertaining way to keep the mind young after all. And it does keep away the risk of calcification. But all this, it almost feels like it’s too much...

So much to process, and he has the nagging fear of not having enough time for everything. This irrational suspicion that he will be able to realise vital information, only when it’s going to be too late for it to be useful… And worse of all he doesn't even know where those thoughts and fears are coming from… Nor if they are genuine forewarnings or simply uneasiness.

He is an immortal after all, time _is_ on his side… And yet there's more to analyse and consider. One of the important parts to think about from today is that Alexander's wings are more delicate than they might appear to be. 

Cleaning them up and healing them took a lot more time than he thought it would take… It could have been because he has never done it before so he had to get a handle on how it works. 

It might also have been possible that it took so much time because Alexander waited too long before taking care of them… It is not that far from things his lover has been known to do. It wouldn’t certainly have been the first time, and he is not holding his breath hoping it would be the last one either.

The potion Alec used, does intrigue him, it clearly is an alteration, and it felt magical… And he has seen with his own eyes how effective it has been. He really wishes he could put his hands on the recipe. See if the rapid healing effect he witnessed is due to the different nature of the magic of the brewer. If it depends on the wings themselves, or if the effect would be the same on other injuries.

And yes, thank you very much, annoying thoughts. He knows perfectly well he’s trying to stay away from the accusing knowledge. That Magnus himself is the principal cause of those injuries he has helped healing. Drowning in guilt won’t change the past, regretting past decisions won’t change the present either. He has already taken the first steps to possibly avoid a repetition.

If he can spare a moment to think things logically. Which, admittedly, if revolving about Alec's safety is not really that easy... Having Alexander wearing the protections he made is helping. Feeling the bond admittedly is another source of comfort too... 

And isn’t the bond yet another impossible thing that became possible with Alexander… He never thought he would ever get to experience being bound to someone, have another person actually wanting and desiring such a connection to him… 

However if Alexander really has magic, like he is now almost certain of… Then he totally needs to take his angel aside and teach Alec how imperative it is to control one’s impulses and desires… The irony of this thought is not lost on him at all. He’ll just take the small consolation that, at least Ragnor never heard him saying those things out loud. Not that any of his friends would ever believe that he, Magnus Bane, has even a minuscule clue on what impulse control is… 

Admittedly his history, recent and not, does also show a general lack of curbing his desires as well… His being in a relationship with a shadowhunter and basically having married the guy without realising it, should totally indicate that Magnus really is not the best person to even speak of such things, even less teach them. Kettle, pot and all that...

The gentle tug in his chest surprises him, it feels warm and anchoring. Like one of Alexander's nudges when he gets too lost in his mind… Or like one of Ragnor's deadpanned comments interrupt his inner and outer ranting… Always cutting through the chase and straight to the point, hitting exactly the right spots... 

Ragnor… Of course Ragnor could help him make sense of this situation… He jumps out of bed and with a wave of his hands he changes into more appropriate clothes. 

Magnus then opens a portal and walks surely through it directly in Ragnor's living room. 

"Magnus I can see you still have not learned to appreciate small things. Like the common courtesy of checking out with your future hosts, to inquire if they actually have the time to cater to your every whims… Which, my friend, I do not have right now. Can't you see I'm busy?"

Magnus tilts his head and takes in the situation raising an unimpressed eyebrow. Observing Ragnor in what clearly is a night dress robe, wearing comfortable slippers. An open book resting on his friend's lap. A cup and a kettle of cold tea on the small table on the right. An ink bottle and a quill are on the table on the left, amids a clutter of papers. Some clearly fresh notes written on the paper, ink still drying.

"It looks to me like you have all the time in the world for me my dear little cabbage..."

The equally unimpressed glare he receives back, doesn't do a thing to change the smile on his face. He sits himself on the armchair in front of Ragnor and with a flourish wave of his hand he conjures a cup for himself. Then since he was not raised by wolves he gets for the both of them some more freshly made tea.

"So what is it, this time, that made you leave the side of your boy toy so soon after forming a bond?"

Magnus looks up absolutely surprised, before trying to retain some sort of dignity. Trying to control himself and at least appear nonchalant.

"I don't know what you are talking about my dear friend, can't I come over for a good cup of tea and some talking?"

The undignified snort Ragnor sends his way is the only warning he gets, before the quest of pressing for information begins, and more questions are thrown his way.

"I see; it’s clearly my oversight then. I mean it’s not like you have a silver thread wrapped all over you. One that obviously it’s not woven in what appears to be a very claiming spiderweb pattern. Apparently the whole thing does not have an angelic origin. And it undoubtedly doesn't look nor feel at all like nephilim magic... My mistake. Please do pass me the shortbread. Oh and conjure some scone and jam from that quaint little tavern we haven't been in since 1983, will you?"

Magnus almost drops his cup on the floor. He manages to savage the last bit of his pride and place the cup on the nearby coffee table instead. It takes just one snap of his fingers for the requested foods to appear between them. And then dumbfounded he asks, "Nephilim have magic?"

Magnus starts to feel a little stupid. Especially considering the fact that, yes he did form a bond with Alexander less than few hours ago. That he has seen and felt his angel's magic presence. He has even compared it to a lovely adorable pup… And yet the fact that his dear friend has yet to deny it… That Ragnor has actually hinted at being able to see the bond… In fact not just the bond but also a protection? Woven and wrapped around him?

"Can you tell me where the web generates from?"

The sigh is clearly exasperated but Ragnor complies without pressing Magnus for more information. After all, the older warlock probably has already figured out the majority of the situation. Simply waiting for Magnus to verbalise and elaborate more on the issue.

"I'd guess more or less on the left side of your chest... Of course you'd be so disgustedly romantic. Putting a protection charm given to you by your beloved in a pocket right on your heart? I'd have you know my hopeless friend, those protections do not really work that well in preventing a heart from breaking..."

For the first time in many decades, if not over a century, a dust of blush invades Magnus's face without his consent. Obviously Ragnor is too observant and too sassy for missing the opportunity; to just let the matter rest and give Magnus a break.

"Well, well, well… Would you look at that… The great magnificent Magnus Bane blushing like a lovestruck maid, gushing at the mere mention of a knickknack gifted by their beloved... I never thought I'd see the day my friend."

Magnus groans and hides his face between his hands, resisting the impulse to touch the omamori charm resting safely in the protected inner pocket of his jacket. Now that Ragnor mentioned it, he could finally identify the same faint buzz he felt on it. It was present since the moment Alexander gifted it to him. It is the same buzz that comes from the feathers now safely hidden in his apothecary, if not a lot fainter on the charm… This new revelation is not enough to stop the grumpiness in Magnus’s tone, probably because he’s simply trying to hide his embarrassment, without much success.

"Yes, yes.. You're perfectly right. You can stop tormenting me now my froggy friend… Lets focus back on Nephilim having magic please? And the visible bond you said I have?"

If he is completely honest with himself, he could admit that maybe, he did deserve the raised eyebrow he just got. But alas today is not that day, so he just shrugs as Ragnor keeps the quips coming.

"Oh… So you're saying, you didn't happen to, I don’t know… Bound your mind, body and soul with the young man? One you insist is the love of your life but who I still haven't met yet?"

Magnus looks down not really wanting to see how Ragnor’s features will morph as he murmurs softly.

"Strength and magic too..."

That freezes Ragnor mid action as sharp focused eyes stare at him unblinking… The stillness is broken when the tea soaked shortbread stick between Ragnor's finger succumbs to gravity and falls back into the cup. Ragnor delicately places the rest of it on the cup's dish and puts down the cup on the table

"You _are_ sure of this boy, right my friend?"

Ragnor's voice full of concern and Magnus looks up with the smallest but most honest shy smile he ever let his friend see.

"He's like no one else we ever met Ragnor. I haven't introduced you in the beginning because I wasn't sure it would last, I can confess that now. But I can promise you’ll adore him too. Catarina sort of ended up called in the middle of it all. When the Institute arrested Iris Rose for starting a baby warlock ring. Horrible business, she forced mundanes to procreate with demons over and over again. They had to place all the babies and the young girl that lived with Iris… So Caterina decided to take care of Madzie.”

Magnus is so intent gushing that he almost misses the contemplative looks on Ragnor’s face.

“And later on, well things are so chaotic in New York right now. You should come and visit. You know you're welcome at my house, and Alexander is promoting so many changes. Best of it all? The Clave is letting him do it without putting up that much of a fuss... You wouldn't believe it. I am there, seeing it with my own eyes, and sometimes I’m still finding it hard to believe it’s really happening."

Magnus's voice starts to get excited and his hands move animatedly as he keeps going. 

"Did you know I’ve never been in the Institute's conservatory before? But when I was there to meet with the youngsters, I could see so many species of plants I didn't even know were present in New York… One of those days I really need to ask Alexander about it. I swear I think I saw plants that shouldn’t even be able to survive in those conditions.”

Magnus doesn’t even realise he’s rambling a bit, but his friend just lets him be, getting it out of his system like so many times before, just letting the words flow and wait for the proper moment to either interrupt or reach the natural end of the rant.

“But one of the most out there things, he just recently implemented is passing on babysitting duties to all the downworlders who create minor problems… Can you imagine that? No Clave’s involvement, no violence, just babysitting duty like unruly teenagers… It's absolutely hilarious. You wouldn’t believe how many, nor how quickly they just promise to never do anything wrong ever again… And only to stay away from those lovely kids... They are not bad so I can’t really say I do get what’s the fuss about… I met them at the end of the day, and I think they are just energetic I guess?"

When Magnus finally takes the time from telling his story to look up, he notices the disbelief on Ragnor's face. Magnus is still smiling besotted, and he doesn't understand why a small frown is making its way on Ragnor's forehead.

"And how many youngsters does your lover have at the Institute right now?"

He stops for a moment to think back, mentally counting the faces he saw. There was the youngest sibling, Max, he recalled eight girls and another six boys. 

"Beside his younger brother there were almost an equal amount of boys and girls, I'd say fifteen.. Or at least the ones I met.”

A little worried frown appears on Ragnor's face as he speaks, "so your young man is officially the Head of the institute. He has under his responsibility fifteen nephilim children, right? And despite that he managed somehow to convince downworlders that in lieu of taking them to the Clave, for minor infractions, they should instead just babysit the young nephilims? And you’re telling me that the Calve didn't have multiple litters of kittens at that?"

The incredulity on Ragnor’s voice surprises Magnus but he still shrugs not really seeing the issue in all that. Alexander has not said anything on the matter, why would Ragnor be so disbelieving...

"Well no. Technically us leaders of the Downworld Cabinet had to convince our people that indeed babysitting duty is a better punishment. Especially considering anything else the Clave could throw at any of us… And that Alec, being the one who restarted the cabinet in New York, is a trustworthy shadowhunter… Who also happened to be my consort when he suggested the punishment so..."

Magnus doesn't know what is finding more disconcerting and worrisome. The pained groan leaving Ragnor's throat. Or the visibly worried lines still present all over his friend’s face and the now tense body language. The clipped tone in Ragnor's voice doesn’t bode well but Magnus has yet to understand what’s going on.

"Let me lay this down as plainly as I possibly can. You two recognised and acknowledged your relationship and union not only in front of his family, downworlders and clave's representatives while within the institute. But you also did the same while you were holding court in that club of yours. By having eyes and attention only for your scheduled meetings and him, while also his family and the more prominent downworlders were present? Am I correct?"

Magnus can see the agitation on his friend's body language increase as the list grows longer. So he simply nods letting Ragnor take a sip of freshly poured tea… Because tea with soggy biscuits is too beneath them. When Ragnor continues the list gesturing and counting on fingers.

"He established a Downworld cabinet that promotes communications between all the shadow words factions. Actually working and passing over laws and legislation that are indeed promoting Downworlder equality. Not just that but he also manages to make them approved… 

On top of all _that_ , he has in his care and under his responsibility, not only his own younger brother but also another fourteen nephilim recruits. And he finds the time to fulfil his role as consort, while managing the Institute and sustaining the requirements for a courtship with you? Have I listed all the lad is currently doing?"

The incredulity and surprise is there vibrating in the space between them when Magnus absentmindedly adds, "well he also goes on patrols, that’s why he isn't with me tonight and I could come here to talk with you… In fact there's actually more, which is part of the reason why I came over… Not only Alexander seems to have magic, but also he has wings that are buzzing with it..."

Ragnor's intake is sharp and the words spoken with a deep reaching pain that feels like a slap to Magnus. 

"Please tell me you've not been going around after you two performed the bond and that you haven't breathed a word about his wings to anyone else."

A small part of Magnus feels like he would be justified in acting offended. However seeing his friend in pain, fingers pinching the bridge of Ragnor’s nose, eyes closed and shoulders slumped down… That image in front of Magnus stops any desire to follow the impulsive reaction, so he simply shakes his head slowly. 

"No Ragnor, despite not really knowing that much I do have at least a vague idea that it's something huge. I’ve got so much information all at once, just few hours ago… I returned home and found him with his wings out. And they were in such a state that he looked like he had been through so many fights and battles… While his parabatai confirmed that as far as he knew Alec shouldn't have felt as in pain as he was… I didn't know what was going on… I just ended up going home earlier than I was supposed to be. And I found him in pain and hurt, only to discover I had just forced a reveal."

Magnus looks down in shame but continues sharing the event that happened.

“I managed to stay collected enough to help with the healing but once he was ok… Oh Ragnor I felt so bad, I started panicking… And he tried to make it better. He took rather good care of me. Until he tried to break down to me that first he is not a warlock. So in his stubborn mind such rules should not apply to him."

Magnus is pretty upset, tears threatening to return in his eyes, so he accepts the comfort Ragnor is offering. That takes the shape of filling his cup with more fresh tea and the brush of magic being sent his way, as a gentle caress that lingers like a hug.

"Then he tried a different approach, asking how the situation would be different if we were married… And I swear I didn't even understand why he asked me that… I did explain but then he laid on me that he might have been the one starting it… With the public declaration at the institute. And that I did complete it without even knowing… Worst part in it all? It was actually Raphael the one cluing Alexander in on what happened… And not just about the consort part of it. But also what it meant, and how Alexander's presence was now required for the court to function properly…”

Magnus slumps down in the armchair, resisting the urge to tucks his legs underneath his body and curl into the smallest size he could fold himself into.

“I was just so grateful when he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. Only for him to suddenly back away, when I stupidly asked him what he did said to the seelies… I was just worried they would try to overrule one of my decrees… I did try to reassure him that I knew the seelies would be smarter than that and should have known better.. but apparently that was completely the wrong thing for me to do."

When he finally lifts his face, knowing he has been reduced to a trembling incoherent mess… He can see the brief look of disappointment that flashes in Ragnor's eyes before it transforms in compassion. His friend can see exactly how affected he still is by it all. Despite Alexander's reassurances, despite the bond pulsing calm and steady offering silent support and constant love.

"Oh my dear stupid brave friend, stop beating yourself up. Your young man has already told you he doesn't see you at fault in the situation. So stop berating yourself up. Clearly you both fell into the easily made mistake of seeing the situation solely from the point of view you're used to… The one of the society you mainly walk into.”

Magnus takes a sip of the tea to calm himself as he keeps listening, his head bowed once more in shame.

"Magnus, it was an honest mistake. One made by the both of you. And a pretty reasonable one… Neither of you have experience in personal relationship between shadowhunters and warlocks.

My friend, despite having entered in contact with shadowhunters many times throughout your life, you have never really got closer than consider any of them more than amicable colleagues, or perhaps acquaintances. You never sat with them outside formal occasions. You have not watched nephilim children courting and getting married. Starting families and running out risking their life for their cause...”

Magnus blinks unsure on how to take what Ragnor is saying, especially the mention of courtship, this is the second time it came up. "I don't understand what do you mean Ragnor…"

Ragnor's smile is soft, and Magnus can see the teacher resurfacing in his friend’s mannerism.

"That is exactly my point Magnus, you don't understand… The reason why the previous attempts at creating a downworld cabinet failed is because the Clave made an art of creating an overwhelming administrative overload of paperwork. Think of this, shadowhunters basically manage to have paperwork for everything... Now, consider that at the academy, we used to have many classes. With no more than five recruits per class...

He manages three times more, with the additional minefield of having his younger brother in that midst. Either he has to be harder on the younger lad and being considered unfair. Or he appears too soft and he is going to be an unjust man, abusing his power perpetrating nepotism.

Effectively demonstrating how unsuitable he is for the position he has. Unless I am mistaken in thinking that his crew is not actually so well manned. And they could actually keep the handling of recruits into many small groups…"

Magnus thinks about it and then finds himself shaking his head. "No, I don't think so… As far as I've gathered, they are all spread a little thin as things are right now... Apparently the Clave is not allowing more people to move to the New York Institute. Saying something about them having to focus on the new recruits? Wait, wouldn't that actually be a reason to allow more people to come and help teaching the kids?"

The nods of approval can only fill Magnus with pride. For all of the three seconds it takes for the understanding of what it means refusing more people to man up the institute, to finally hit… Magnus’s comprehension still shocks him but that doesn’t stop the words to pass his lips.

"They are setting him up to fail... They want to prove that Alexander is not competent enough. Either by not returning well trained recruits. Failing to keep up with the administrative side or by getting his overworked shadowhunters killed..."

The realisation hits him like a wall of bricks, and the shadow of fear appears at the back of his mind. "Oh sweet Magic may have mercy, how does he do it? I had no clue..."

But Ragnor is not done, an apologetic expression graces the green compassionate face for just a moment, before continuing pressing the points restlessly.

"And on top of all that, when he first started on a duty he didn’t know he had. You came to him, mentioned that he was taking over your job, in your home turf… Only for you to suggest that in what he was doing, he could have overruled your decrees changing the final decision...

In shadowhunter’s society if one of the intended behaved that way, it would be extremely disrespectful. Especially if the intended is in a leadership position, such action is not only a challenge. But also a blatant and public questioning of the person’s ability to hold that position... Now my dear friend, you might not have noticed that, but shadowhunters love to place their threats in suggestions…” 

After having Ragnor spell things out for him, it was getting easier to understand Alec's reasoning to step back faster than one could spell magic. Magnus has always managed to reason better when talking aloud, probably to keep away the loneliness, even if it was just with the sound of his own voice.

"Basically without even realising it, I told him to back off, didn’t I? Alec was probably thinking that he was openly challenging, not only my position but questioning my ability to hold it... But why would anyone accept entering into a marriage with someone who'd do that to them...?"

In a way, he should have expected it. The theatrical pose of a tilted head resting on one hand. While Ragnor’s elbow was planted firmly on the knee of the crossed leg. And the clear *are you that stupid* being telegraphed by every single line of Ragnor's body. 

The rather unflattering "Oh..." that escaped Magnus’s lips was leaving his head spinning. More things getting clearer, means that the nerves holding his stomach are making him feel sick. Because Alexander actually tried to tell him, and it went completely over Magnus’s head, despite very similar words being used by both men… He looks up to his friend and then pleads softly.

"Please tell me we are done with the realisations… The more I learn, the more I cannot phantom how a sweet man like Alexander could ever raise from such society..."

Ragnor's body shifts back into a relaxed position before a head shake starts to foreshadow more heartbreak in Magnus's future.. 

"Do you know that it is in all their codex and rulebooks that a shadowhunter to keep being one, is forbidden to use magic...?"

The question is deceptively simple, the tone soft and inconspicuous... The ramifications however are mind blowing ... "So nephilim _**have**_ magic, right?"

Ragnor once more doesn't answer… And suddenly it’s like a switch is turned on… As it becomes crystal clear that maybe, it was part of the contract from the time of working at the academy… That some information could not be repeated or talked about… 

But Ragnor is nothing short of one of the smartest men Magnus has ever had the pleasure of knowing. So he listen as his friend continues conversationally like nothing happened.

"Isn't it curious how shadowhunters, who love to remind everyone of their angelic blood, are the only race that goes by two names while the rest of the world just gets by with only one?"

Magnus crosses his legs one finger tapping contemplatively on his lips and then he starts to state out loud the ideas coming into his mind.

"Because they are the only race who forces the same profession on all its members… Only to assign military ranks to fill in the positions that are technically jobs titles... And in that way they try to force all his members to follow the Clave's rules because that's what shadowhunters do... But at the very core nephilims aren't shadowhunters… Shadowhunter is just a job’s title... I wonder how many do know this..?"

Ragnor watches smirking before retorting tartly, "how many smart ones are there? Who would listen to such a question from a **_downworlder_** … Instead of believing what they have been hand fed by the Clave their whole lives?"

Magnus' smile gets bright, "I know at least three without a shadow of doubt. One that is a strong possibility due to his young age and inquisitive mind… All of them incidentally raised by the same person, which is unsurprising. And maybe one or two who could probably be open to at least hear the suggestion..."

With the head inclined Ragnor offers one side looped grin. 

"Then times are really changing. And with your winged protector on watch duty that is not such a surprise... I suppose then that the real marriage is going to be a ceremony in gold and blue?"

Magnus for his part tilts his head curiously... Wondering how Ragnor reached that conclusion in such a short time.

"Alexander mentioned that yes. He is working on us to have a Clave recognised marriage, with the chance for him to marry in gold... I do understand he is doing a really good thing, trying to offer a more equal standing for downworlders... But I don’t get why it wouldn’t be enough for the Clave to recognise the union between the Blackthorn and Penhallow girls. With the first being a half seelie it would still push the downworlders equality agenda… And it wouldn’t keep us from finalising the name ceremony for quite that long...”

The snorts that interrupts Magnus is as much a surprise as Ragnor's next words.

"Good gracious Magnus, are you being obtuse on purpose? Or should I check your new bond, to see if the naivete of your partner is seeping through and impairing your mental abilities? I know you rarely look at the future long enough to play the long game… But I swear I don't recall you ever being so dense before. And we've known each other for centuries..."

Magnus's scowls a little upset and still not getting what seems so clear for his friend. "What do you mean?"

The return of the patented unimpressed and judging raised eyebrow is mildly irritating after such a packed day. And Magnus is half tempted to just storm out… Instead he waits it out, he knows they still haven't touched the wing topic yet. And Magnus's pretty sure that he felt Ragnor’s wards tighten a little bit preventing anyone entrance, or actually his own escape…

"I mean that the poor boy should have hoped for a more cooperative partner... Interesting how you forget that coincidentally every institute you've ever worked with before, had a married couple in charge... Tell me are the two girls you mentioned holding a head of institute position?"

Magnus blinks owlish, "well no, but what does that mean?"

Watching the clear *think* message passed by two fingers being gently patted on Ragnor's temple. Magnus is not stupid. One simply cannot be able to invent new magic, harness the laws of space enough to create portals, and not reach simple conclusions once all the pieces are in front of him. And as things start to take shape Magnus continues reasoning, his mind being blown away from the picture painted in front of his eyes.

"Wait, are you saying that married couples do share equal power over the Institute? But.. That would mean... If Alec could actually make that happen… The nephilim society would be pried open from the inside… It would create a precedence. And one so powerful that the accords will have to be rewritten. Factoring in more equal protections for all factions.. It would completely change the world we’re living in... Do you think that's what Alexander is aiming for?"

His eyes grow bigger and more watery. And not even Ragnor’s indifferent shrug and careless words can help Magnus compose himself. 

"How could I possibly know that? Someone has not seen fit to introduce me to the lad… So how could it be conceivable for me to know what are the normal thoughts yer fella would think? Despite the plethora of my many talents, mind reading is not amongst them...And even if it was I would still need to have the chance to be in the same room as him..."

Shaking his head Magnus takes a breath, and now that things are appearing more clear he asks what he's afraid of knowing... "My dear little cabbage, what can you tell me about the wings?”

Ragnor’s face clouds with sorrow and pain before starting speaking again.

"Your fella is not the first one of his kind. I had met one shadowhunter with wings before… He was quite something else, a pretty kind and soft boy. He used to walk around with those bone wings out. His parents were calling it a gift of the angels, seeing nothing wrong in them. His family was not living in Idris, their bloodline was not old enough to have a manor there.”

Ragnor readjusts on the seat searching for a more comfortable position.

“Which I suppose is what allowed me to meet the boy. And what also ended up being the reason why he managed to reach the ripe age of seventeen… He learnt to cloak the wings and hide them away with the help of the Silent Brothers… The order offered him lessons and knowledge without the demand of joining later on... He was cautioned to keep the wings secret until the proper time came…”

Magnus can feel it in his bones that the story is going to turn toward a tragic end, shivers crawl down his spine while he keeps listening.

“But he was never told what the proper time was… I suppose it didn't help, having been raised so far away from all the intrigue and maliciousness of Idris’ politics. He was utterly unprepared to understand and face the kind of viper's nest he was walking into... He trusted the wrong person and suddenly he was accused of being a warlock daring to impersonate a shadowhunter. The wings a clear mark of his demonic parentage... You can imagine how that went…"

Ragnor takes a deep breath, eyes closed for a brief moment before finishing the story. "I don't know who exactly got the honour of keeping the wings as trophy, but I know his body was sent home mutilated and wingless."

Now it is Magnus's turn to look pained, his voice a broken whisper. 

"The Lightwoods... Alec told me he saw wings that felt the same way as his displayed at Lightwood manor. He told me they gave him nightmares of shadowhunters violence, screams, and a very deep and I can see very much deserved fear of something of that sort happening to him.”

Both warlocks half snort half laugh, indeed the angels have a quirky sense of humour. Sending another winged creature, to the one family that took pride in displaying those stolen wings as nothing more than a macabre memento.

Ragnor nods, probably thinking on the same line as Magnus himself.

"Indeed the Angels work in a mysterious way... The point of the whole story though is that you really should try to keep it for yourself. You don't want that knowledge to come out by mistake before he manages to make your golden wedding a reality... After that, any action taken against him will be considered as a direct break of the Accords and a war declaration against the downworld as whole…” 

Ragnor is humming pleasantly surprised, mind engaged in the possible scenario, demonstrating once again why Magnus works so well with his dear friend… He keeps listening as Ragnor keeps sharing.

“After you two are officially married and you have the naming presentation ceremony out of the way. As soon as he’ll reveal his wing he will be considered more a downworlder than a shadowhunter… And that will be true for all the shadow world... The Clave and the downworlders alike. Once he’s seen that way, you will both become untouchable. Any action taken against you both can be interpreted as a declaration of war… And should the Clave create problems, there is a possible solution that would keep the world moving into a better direction…”

Hearing that is leaving Magnus intrigued, he shouldn’t be surprised. If his friend is able to think on the fly a plan for the future with at least a backup. He would bet that Alexander, being a very good strategist, not only has similar plans in motion, but also many possible contingency plans should anything fall through at any point in time…

“Think of this Magnus, If enough nephilim subscribe to the idea of losing the name shadowhunter, their job titles, in favour of following their nature… If your fellow has at least four other old family names behind him, he could declare himself and the institute independent and separate from the Clave, while still being recognised by it…”

Ragnor is clapping gleefully, clearly excited by the prospect presented in front of them. 

“Oh what interesting times would then await us… You my friend might not be that good at playing the long game. Due to your obsession of living in the present. But I have to say that I approve how your partner thinks ahead and plans for the future…”

Ragnor is offering one of the brightest smirks Magnus has seen in ages. Magnus is silently amused by the fact his friend is approving of Alexander without having met the man yet… Completely ignoring Magnus’s own smug smile Ragnors goes on.

“So do make sure I'm invited to the wedding… I demand to meet in the flesh this never ending well of surprises, and make it soon… I require my share of the boy's attention, you and Caterina have monopolized him for far too long already... Such a spectacular mind needs to be cultivated, and I’ve centuries of experience in doing that… But first let’s try to find a way for you to not broadcast too soon things that require their own time to be revealed…”

Magnus bites his lower lip and then asks one thing that has been bothering him since Ragnor started mentioning the bond. "How is it possible that you can see the bond but I can't? Shouldn’t I be able to see it as well?”

Ragnor chuckles, "tell me Magnus, do you think your Alec can see on himself the clear ‘piss off! Not for you’ message that your magic is most likely broadcasting for everyone else to see?"

Magnus pouts affronted “Hey I resent that my magic’s message is way more tasteful than that..."

Which of course makes Ragnor’s eyebrows raise even higher than before. 

"Really? Mayhaps then does it go on the lines of ‘ _this is my property. If you manage to understand this message you've already looked for far too long, and you better be on your way out before I notice you_ ’?"

Magnus gapes in fake outrage, another dust of blush appearing as a fleeting shadow on his face. But otherwise he remains quiet about the content of the message from his magic on Alec. Ragnor isn’t that much far off, but there is no reason to inflate that green humongous ego, and he still needed to understand what he’s supposed to do. 

“Funny my toady friend, very funny... How about we actually return to the point where we do talk about how I'm supposed to hide what clearly is a _stay away from mine_ warning message? I would find that change of subject very helpful...”

Ragnor shrugs completely unbothered by Magnus’s words and outburst.

"I have no clue how you want to accomplish that my friend… I'm merely here just to tell you if you have succeeded or not…"

If unimpressed glares could hit people in the head, Ragnor would have a hell of a headache by now... Though thinking about how today went, so would Magnus himself...

Magnus starts to bounce one of his legs, tapping a finger to follow the same rhythm. Thinking on what he could do, the only idea he comes up with is riding on glamours’ theory…

If he analyses the hiding part of a glamour, the concept is that of forcing an image on top of a feature being hidden away. Weaving the magic into a screen then project that different image on that surface. Or by creating a photograph of what should appear to everyone else.

Neither options however help on the matter at hand, because as far as Ragnor told him the warning is rather visible due to its own nature… While it pleases Magnus’s possessive side to discover that Alexander can match and keep up with him in that as well… It is not ideal for keeping things quiet until the right time… 

Magnus starts mumble under his breath reciting the theory of glamours, the rhythm in his leg increasing… 

If instead he could make his magic envelope the part that needs to stay hidden, like a blanket, maybe that might possibly block something that usually is meant to be seen… The theory seems at least up to a working stage if not yet that solid… So he tries to pull the magic over himself… Only for the sensation to fade away as soon as he opens his eyes and his concentration breaks. Clearly he is doing something wrong...

The bouncing in his leg has become too much to let him think clearly, so he jumps off the armchair. He starts… Not exactly pacing, but it’s not walking either, it’s something in between... 

In between... Maybe that’s exactly the missing puzzle piece that reveals itself to be the key… 

He turns to look at his friend and notices Ragnor playing with the end of his robe, the shimmery silk shining in between his fingers..

Another idea is coming to him, so he has to ask for a confirmation. 

"Ragnor can you tell me exactly what it looks like...?"

The self satisfied smirk he receives makes Magnus feel that maybe he is on the right track.

"It looks like a single thread, woven into a spider web like pattern, protecting and covering you from head to toes"

Magnus hums along with the description and then calls on his magic. Willing it to weave itself around him like a piece of cloth… Once his magic is sitting on him like an additional layer he looks up and raises an eyebrow in query. He does receive a short nod and a smile for his successful efforts. And Ragnor nonchalant comment. "If memory serves me right, it looks very similar to what the cloaking mentioned by the winged nephilim looked like." 

Once more the sentence per se is not damning for the contract’s restrictions. But it's enough information that helps Magnus understand how he could help Alexander from now on. 

Thinking back on how he achieved the current result he summons into his hand one of his journals on magical theory and spell crafting. Scribbling down quickly what he did, how he achieved it, the references to the glamour theory and the notion of having something in between. Magnus draws a cloak around the relevant concepts. 

Then for added measure, he includes on the side the note that things in between get squashed, doodling a small bat holding a hammer while flying above a cute smashed pumpkin… Even if someone could somehow put their hands on his journal, they wouldn’t be able to understand what it refers to...

And with this figured out he knows exactly what else he could do to make Alexander more comfortable while staying at the club. With this piece of theoretical magic in his hands he could see how particles could infiltrate in between the cloaking and provoke the damage Alec’s wings sustained. Especially magical particles like fairy dust and the magical glitter that is used in Pandemonium for some of the events...

Those would be small enough, allowing them to slip in between the woven magic, and ending up accumulating enough that the attrition could cause the tears and burns in the wings’ leathered skin.

The same could be said for particles of any liquid or body fluid that might hang in the air... which suddenly makes Magnus stop thinking about fairies drugs in their misty form... 

Those would be the perfect base to coat bones, feather and leather and make them sticky enough for everything else to remain on the wings. The bumping around would actually provoke some of the bruising, ruffling and twisting the feathers into the mess he saw on Alexander... Everything was starting to make sense, and at the same time, things were going to be so complicated from now on… Looking at the clock Magnus realises he has already spent more than a couple of hours with his friend. On the bright side though Magnus managed to sort through his thoughts and reached some clarity. 

There is one last thing still nagging him and opening himself up to a bout of vulnerability he asks softly to his friend. 

"Ragnor, do you think I should offer Alexander a public mea culpa once he reveals his wings? I, he - he did say that he would have shown me later on. But not while he was hurt, and he got hurt because of me… He got his beautiful wings so battered that his parabatai could feel the pain and soreness. Despite being unable to pinpoint exactly where he was hurting... It was bad enough that Alexander planned to take care of himself when I was supposed to be away for many hours. He was hurting himself night after night just because he spent time at the club to help me hold court. And he got hurt because I never thought of making Pandemonium more wing friendly… It was not a problem I even knew could ever come up… "

Magnus sags down resting his back against the wall almost missing the shaking of Ragnor’s head as his friends offer a softly spoken answer.

"My friend it seems you found yourself a good one. Someone who is as honour bound and duty lover as you are... I understand you are too close to the situation. I'm glad to say I was right all along. You did find someone who’d tear down the walls around your heart, but remember now it's the time to fight for such love… Undermining your position while he is trying to affirm his it's not a good move. He has already told you and shown to you, that he has accepted his role as consort. And he also told you that he is planning for you to have a grand marriage in gold and blue...”

The smile on Ragon’s lips is full of love and compassion, Magnus is however still feeling the guilt sticking to him like disgusting muck. Ragnor continues the explanation, offering comfort and a solid reason for Magnus to stop torturing himself.

“All that, my friend, tells me this young man is serious about you. The fact is that he tried to make you see you two are already married, mayhaps he was clumsily in his delivery… But he did make a point, and you should recall that it takes a way graver offence to publicly grovel for your spouse. This is not such a big deal as your remorse is making you think… And you are risking being called out for making a mockery of our traditions... Don't let the misplaced guilt blind you to who you both are. Or what that means for the territory you oversee..." 

Ragnor seems satisfied with the nod Magnus offers, feeling a little better about the ordeal. Magnus smiles and after sending back his journal, he then proceeds to open a portal… He has a club to fix, but before moving forward he looks back at his verdant friend and smiles. "Anything else I should know before going on and preparing the club to be fit for my consort's comfort?"

Ragnor grins and replies sassy, "oh yes you now owe me 15 Escudos coined in 1698 or earlier… I am generous enough that, should you not be able to provide such currency, I will accept their current monetary value of 300,000 American dollars…”

Magnus tilts his head and takes a long hard look at his friend “And I owe you such amount because…?”

Ragnor huffs indignant frowning. “I won the bet we made in May 1698, about the chance of you finding your true mate and that happening when the world would change... Congratulations my friend, your intended is already changing the world. And most likely he is doing that for you... How does it feel being the centre of someone's world for a change, instead of putting others there?"

The shit eating grin Magnus sends Ragnor’s way before leaving is an answer enough on its own without needing any further words. The fire message arriving on his face as soon as he's on the other side of the portal reads / _Remember that I want to meet the lad anytime soon. **Before** he has the time to pop the question... I want to meet him in person. R._/

Shaking his head still smiling Magnus banishes the message to the loft and summons back his spell crafting journal. Reading back on what wards he set and starting doodling on what he could do. 

There is quite the variety of options available… He could have a spell filtering the air and make sure that no particle would float there. But that wouldn't work during the event, and fairy dust is a notoriously sticky and annoying substance to deal with...

He jots down few possible options club wide, the thought of having Alexander's usual places covered with an additional set of wards that would purify the air and keep them floating particles free…But that would still leave the passage between those zones unprotected and potentially still painful for his consort...

He could design additional wards to be added to the jewels to act as filters… But this last idea has too many flaws. For one he will have to wait until he knows exactly how well they work for Alexander. The second point is that such filters might prevent Alec to recognise a dangerous situation by particular triggering smells. And that wouldn’t be good at all.

Still, it’s something he could discuss with Alexander and see if it’s something worth developing at a later time. Magnus starts pacing until he decides to partially open the sound barrier around the office… Just to let the music in, but not the other sounds from the people dancing and talking below. He dances a little following the music and swaying on his heels before shutting close the privacy ward leaving the office in quiet silence once more.

Magnus calls some of his magic on the tip of his fingers and plays with it absentmindedly. The sphere dancing in his hand, contracting and expanding, changing its shape, spinning and cycling from sphere to thin sheet to thread and back to sphere again. 

Until inspiration struck, as his mind focused on the issue at hand… Which is making sure that the particles that are so harmful for Alexander’s wings do not reach them. That means preventing the floating particle to get into the woven magic that keeps the wings out of sight and out of the physical space... Owning the club he knows of the mundane filter system regulations that Pandemonium too needs to follow. 

But if he just adds some magic into the filtering and venting system, he could conditionate every particle that passes through it with a touch of magic… Charging them and promoting their interaction to increase their dimensions… That could be the solution he’s searching for. Of course it would require some testing with Alexander’s help. Though maybe the fact that it is so simple will follow the KISS theory and hopefully make it also effective.

Magnus decides to let it run for the night leaving a message for Maybel, to prepare a report for both him and Raphael on how the night goes after the implemented changes. Taking note if the patrons notice something different or not, and if a change is noted, gauge their reactions.

With everything taken care of for the first test run, Magnus heads back home to wait for his shadowhunter to return from the patrol. Depending on Alexander’s tiredness he’ll decide whether to ask tonight about the warded jewellery or wait at a later time… So far, on his side, everything has felt good, Magnus just needs to wait for his angel’s feedback to confirm he has been reading correctly the situation.

It takes a couple of days for Magnus to actually manage to corner Alexander to get an exhaustive feedback on how the jewellery feels and how the wards are working. 

“Alexander, tell me how are the wings jewels doing? Are they moving or do they feel uncomfortable?” He knows his insecurities are showing and making him a little persistent in his request of answers. But Magnus needs the confirmation on what the feedback he has from the wards means, and if he is interpreting it correctly… 

It is the first time anyone ever attempted such a feat, and so, like any experimental project, he needs to test and verify that things are working as they should. Or at least as he expects them to work...

And Alexander is once again ready to surprise him, meeting what he knows are clingy requests with a smile and honest answers. “They feel great Magnus. As in I can’t even feel them there, I tried to fly a little bit. I was worried the chains with the pendants would get in the way, but instead whatever is that you did, makes them stay exactly where you placed them so that they are not in the way... At least as far as the jewels themselves go. The wards I am sorry I am not sure how they are supposed to feel... I guess it’s like always walking around surrounded by a blanket that doesn’t get in the way?” 

Magnus can’t resist the adorable thoughtful frown on Alexander's face. So he leans forward and takes a few kisses as thanks. Then taking Alexander’s hands in his, he makes sure to stay pressed chest to chest with his shadowhunter. “That’s good news pup, if you have few hours for me I have something I want to show you, I promise to make it worth your while if you come with me” 

He winks suggestively and smiles, ready to open the portal behind Alexander when he receives the confirmation that indeed they will have the time to carry on Magnus's plan. Magnus feels elated and overjoyed by the clear sign of trust Alec shows him when allowing Magnus to guide them blindly through the portal.

Landing inside an empty Pandemonium is a surprise for Alexander, Magnus offers a shy smile. “I wanted to show you the changes I made here at the club. They should hopefully make it better for you and your wings… We cannot test it properly while we’re holding court… But we can try to at least simulate the conditions and see if we can figure out together a way to make being here painless for you.” 

Alexander is looking at him with eyes full of surprise and amazement, “What you need from me” and Magnus cannot stop marvelling at the patience and enthusiasm Alec can demonstrate even through the long hours of tests and tweaking they have done restlessly.

By mid afternoon, with only a few hours left before opening time, Magnus manages to reach their goal. He calibrated the venting system so that no particles could slip under the cloak keeping Alexander’s wings hidden from the world. He’s ready to head home, and draw a hot bubble bath for the both of them... Getting started on the rest and relax part of the evening for at least a whole hour. 

Then Magnus notices the look of absolute awe and devotion following every move he makes. He raises an eyebrow and with a delicate flourished hand gesture Magnus offers a playful half bow to Alexander. “Liking what you see, pretty boy?”The sure unwavering “Always” is an ego booster, Magnus can admit that much. But it’s the tenderness and adoration that makes his heart melt and his breath catch in his throat.

“Alexander?” He receives a smile and a loving kiss, lips gently pressed against his and breaths mingling before more explanations arrive.

“You always say that I am the one that keeps surprising you. When time after time, in everything you say and everything you do. _You_ are the one surprising me. Every single time you open a portal and I don't know where we'll be. You come up with solutions for problems you've barely heard about... You repeat over and over again, with your words and with your actions that you find me worthy of your love, of your time and energies. You keep going so much out of your way, just for the sake of giving me some comfort… Some days I wonder what I did to deserve you in my life.”

It still breaks Magnus's heart that Alexander is not yet able to see what Magnus can see clear as a sunny day. “Sayang, you are working to change the world for us. And actually obtaining results no one before even came close to obtain. _You_ are challenging and changing traditions older than the combined sums of me and my immortal friends’ ages... Alexander, I would destroy realms to stay at your side. And should the Clave try to hurt you, I wouldn’t think twice about moving war to Idris, and bring Alicante down until only ashes and ruins remain.” 

Magnus gently caress Alec’s face tenderly carding through the dark locks. “And yet, even knowing what I am capable of doing. Knowing how powerful I am. When I offer you the world… You look at me in my real eyes, and you just ask for me instead, meaning it.”

Magnus looks into his angel’s eyes as he leans forward, their forehead touching one another as he murmurs on Alexander’s lips, “knowing that my feelings for you match what you feel for me, at least in equal measure, in strength and passion. Knowing all that, how could you possibly think that I wouldn’t go to any length, just to make sure that you are happy and comfortable at my side?”

Magnus can see and feel the deep pure love resonating across their bond. And even if he’s pretty sure that Alexander doesn’t fully understand it yet what it means being loved by him. Magnus has one certainty blooming into his chest… He now has all the time in the world to make Alexander see what Magnus is already seeing... A man Magnus loves with all his heart. A person deserving of affection and devotion. The other half of the centre of Magnus's universe.

  
There are still many things to iron out, and surely more obstacles are ready to appear on their path. Magnus doesn't know if it is a forecasting feeling, or simply the giddiness and fulfilled pleasure reaching him through their bond. But right here, right now, in this very moment, Magnus feels like they are unstoppable.

With Alexander at his side Magnus is ready to face again the Clave and the rest in a way he never did before. For once neither of them will stand alone while fighting their battles. For once there's finally someone at their side ready to offer support and assistance instead of just having demands.

And isn't that such a wonderful sensation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more to the story of this world and some things have been left open because they will come in play again in later instalments. This is the end of this part, but just the beginning of the journey.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
